Super worried about starting college?

[gmakeawish]

I am absolutely terrified to start college this fall and I don't know how to fix it.

I only know one other person that goes to my school, a current co-worker who is going to be a sophomore this year. He's been giving me advice so far but I am still worried. I also fear that we we won't even be friends when school actually starts. We met literally 3 weeks ago.

I'm worried about making friends. I am going to a Christian school and I'm not very religious. I should also mention that I "experimented" with previously mentioned coworker so I'm not completely straight. He said he made friends "instantly". But he's in our school's Honors College so he already had a source of friends with common stuff then he joined a couple clubs....

But I don't know what clubs to join. I feel like I should make friends with people that have the same major as me first but...oh wait I don't know what to major in. My coworker scared me when he said that he doesn't think it's OK for people to be undecided after freshman year but I've heard there's nothing wrong with it. I am only going to be doing basics for my first year. How can I know what to major in then?

And I'm just worried I'll straight up suck. I barely got through high school and feel like I won't be able to handle college. My coworker is doing a full load this fall AND he's in like 3 clubs but I can tell he's hella smart and just "good" at college. I'm just not as smart. What if college is too much?

Please help me feel at ease :(

I feel freakin pathetic looking up to this coworker of mine. He finished high school like middle of the pack in his class like I did (although a class with like 500 more people) and yet he seems so much more...together.

The Honors College at our school is very reading and writing-heavy. Like his reading list for just the fall is like 16 books. Yet he casually said he's already done with 9 of the books.

I just don't have that work ethic. How can I develop it, if it's even possible?

He's majoring in accounting and is doing our school's program to get his master's in 5 years. He's already on pace to graduate a semester early but says he may minor in Spanish too. He finished his freshman year with a 3.89 GPA, Dean's List both semesters. He's in the accounting club and the school's student government, both rather time-consuming it sounds AND he's in like the black student club. Honors College is hella time-consuming just on its own it sounds but he talks about all of this stuff he does like he has 48 hours per day to do it all. Like how the **** is he managing all of this?

I feel like it's bad for me to be comparing myself to him but I can't get over the fact that he's so much more college-ready than I am. I'm hoping I can keep hanging out with him and have it kinda rub off on me.

It sounds like he wants to stay friends when college starts but hell, people said that when I graduated HS and I've already had people stop talking to me. He did offer to take me along when he goes to hang out with his suitemates from his freshman year which of course I accepted. He advised me to become friends with my suitemates unless "they're all insufferable ***holes and/or dumb***es"

But why do I feel like making friends in college is going to be hard? I haven't really had to "make friends" since freshman year of HS. Not to mention I feel like I am going to be one of the dumb***ses he was talking about. He says I'm likable and said he wouldn't still be talking to me if I wasn't. But I don't want him to be my only friend in college of course. I'm worried people will hate me.

I am so sorry for this ranting. It feels good putting this in writing though.

I'm also worried (surprise!) about this coworker's advice. Sometimes I feel like it won't work for me and other times I feel like he may be wrong. Here are some examples.

1. The whole major thing. Now he did say emphasize that it was only HIS opinion but I value his opinion and if he says being undecided major-wise after freshman year is bad, I believe it. But is it a bad thing really?

2. He said randomly talking to people is how he made friends outside of Honors College and clubs. He randomly talked to me one day at work and that's how we started. Does this actually work though? I may ask him for more detail on this.

3. He said to be "very careful" with my bisexuality and other "delicate stuff". He said I need to get good at knowing which friends/people you can tell stuff to and who to "limit". He said only his roommate and 2 of his suitemates know he's bisexual. That means he managed to tell 3 people about it without letting 4 other people living with him find out. HOW?

Posts merged. Next time, please use the "Edit" button. ~Elysium

[Typhlosion]

Hey :)

I'm in my second year of college, but both years I was a freshman (I went to UNIFEI for one year, dropped out, and now am in UNIFESP for a semester). UNIFEI was one of my worst years and 2015, so far, is top 3 years of my life. I do study in Brazil so I might have a different perspective, but I hope I can help.

I am absolutely terrified to start college this fall and I don't know how to fix it.

I only know one other person that goes to my school, a current co-worker who is going to be a sophomore this year. He's been giving me advice so far but I am still worried. I also fear that we we won't even be friends when school actually starts. We met literally 3 weeks ago.

I'm worried about making friends. I am going to a Christian school and I'm not very religious. I should also mention that I "experimented" with previously mentioned coworker so I'm not completely straight. He said he made friends "instantly". But he's in our school's Honors College so he already had a source of friends with common stuff then he joined a couple clubs....

But I don't know what clubs to join. I feel like I should make friends with people that have the same major as me first Indeed, I also had troubles forming friendships at the start of college. I don't know if you're the shy kind, but talking to the guy next to you isn't bad. All of the students are new to the experience and probably anxious about it too, and at least talking to someone else will help. Don't expect to become friends with the first you talk to, but try and be open and at least be on good terms with many people. Going to a few parties helped me a bit with this the first time I went.

Also, sometimes colleges have an introductory day/week which is more about getting to know how the system works and the people you'll be studying with. Sometimes they'll randomly group people to compete in some playful, socializing events. That helped me a lot the second time I entered college.

Clubs were a big thing in the first college I entered. I wouldn't say it's really mandatory to get in any, and I chose to wait 'till the next year when I was more comfortable with college. Many clubs were academic so they required time and dedication, so careful with not overloading yourself. Clubs can be a great way to meet great people, especially because they're very community/family like, but at the same time clubs can be not all that and are only friendly/cool on the outside.

but...oh wait I don't know what to major in. My coworker scared me when he said that he doesn't think it's OK for people to be undecided after freshman year but I've heard there's nothing wrong with it. I am only going to be doing basics for my first year. How can I know what to major in then?

And I'm just worried I'll straight up suck. I barely got through high school and feel like I won't be able to handle college. My coworker is doing a full load this fall AND he's in like 3 clubs but I can tell he's hella smart and just "good" at college. I'm just not as smart. What if college is too much? I can't say that I had problems choosing what to do, because college here requires that you already choose what to do upon entering, and because, ya know, computers :heart:. What I can say, however, is that college is a great time for exploration. You'll be seeing a lot of new things, a lot of new people, and a lot of new perspectives. A lot of your worldviews could change. It's great that your college is interdisciplinary at the start. Talk to other people about their doubts and veterans on their opinion on the courses they're doing.

Hammering again on the new exploring phase of life idea, it's ok if you don't excel in college, or if college isn't your thing. It's great, really, you definitely learned more about yourself on what you can and can't do. You know what college is.

Also, I failed HARD the first time I went to college. HARD. I failed 10/17 subjects I had that year. And I'm here again. First time was harder, getting used to a lot of stuff, didn't have great support nor good friends, wasn't feeling great at all especially on the second semester. At UNIFESP I found a much more supporting group of friends, including a significant other, that were very interested in succeeding, and that helped me a lot in pushing myself into doing well this semester. Well, kinda well. At least I passed with a GPA of 3.0. Not bad.

I feel freakin pathetic looking up to this coworker of mine. He finished high school like middle of the pack in his class like I did (although a class with like 500 more people) and yet he seems so much more...together.

The Honors College at our school is very reading and writing-heavy. Like his reading list for just the fall is like 16 books. Yet he casually said he's already done with 9 of the books.

I just don't have that work ethic. How can I develop it, if it's even possible?

He's majoring in accounting and is doing our school's program to get his master's in 5 years. He's already on pace to graduate a semester early but says he may minor in Spanish too. He finished his freshman year with a 3.89 GPA, Dean's List both semesters. He's in the accounting club and the school's student government, both rather time-consuming it sounds AND he's in like the black student club. Honors College is hella time-consuming just on its own it sounds but he talks about all of this stuff he does like he has 48 hours per day to do it all. Like how the **** is he managing all of this? Dude, chill. You don't have to be him, and college doesn't mean you'll need to be that grade A+ student all the time. Everyone is different in college, and people will perform different, and will also work different. You really don't have to do that much. Nor major in something that demanding.

I have to say that when you find something you really like, with a passion, it's way easier to dedicate time studying that because you actually will love studying! ... that. Some interdisciplinary courses will be a pain in the ass, but if you find motivation in something you like you can push yourself to at least pass.

I feel like it's bad for me to be comparing myself to him but I can't get over the fact that he's so much more college-ready than I am. I'm hoping I can keep hanging out with him and have it kinda rub off on me.

It sounds like he wants to stay friends when college starts but hell, people said that when I graduated HS and I've already had people stop talking to me. He did offer to take me along when he goes to hang out with his suitemates from his freshman year which of course I accepted. He advised me to become friends with my suitemates unless "they're all insufferable ***holes and/or dumb***es"

But why do I feel like making friends in college is going to be hard? I haven't really had to "make friends" since freshman year of HS. Not to mention I feel like I am going to be one of the dumb***ses he was talking about. He says I'm likable and said he wouldn't still be talking to me if I wasn't. But I don't want him to be my only friend in college of course. I'm worried people will hate me.
I gotta say that it depends from person to person. I wouldn't say making friends in college is hard, heck it's easier because so many people alike you are around, but some people are better than it than others. I feel like a miracle happened in how I got to know my friends here, but a friend of mine got to know basically the whole college in a snap.

I do gotta say that the keyword in college, though, is more "acquaintances". You're going to meet a lot of people and know them a bit, and maybe seeing your coworker as a good acquaintance would be better. He already got his circle of friends, he may feel like he's just dragging you in and should go look for mates yourself.

And the dumbass thing he said? He didn't mean intellect, which by the way I'm sure you're no dumb ass, but just assholes in general. With a large amount of people in college, you'll inevitably will meet some disagreeable people. I have to say that the people can be more agreeable/disabreeable depending on the college you're going. Some places can be more conservative and sexist or others more liberal. The former was where I was at, and the latter is where I'm not at, and I'm really happy for the change.

I am so sorry for this ranting. It feels good putting this in writing though.

I'm also worried (surprise!) about this coworker's advice. Sometimes I feel like it won't work for me and other times I feel like he may be wrong. Here are some examples. 1. The whole major thing. Now he did say emphasize that it was only HIS opinion but I value his opinion and if he says being undecided major-wise after freshman year is bad, I believe it. But is it a bad thing really?I wouldn't say it's a good thing either, but I'd forget about that for now. It'll naturally come, and expecting someone to make such a life changing decision is unfair. Sure, spending 4 years in college to then figure out you wanted something completely different is costly money/time-wise, but an year or two of settling things down can't hurt. It hurts more to rush, really.

2. He said randomly talking to people is how he made friends outside of Honors College and clubs. He randomly talked to me one day at work and that's how we started. Does this actually work though? I may ask him for more detail on this.Yup, that's it. I'm not great at it, but that works superbly. Just casual talk can later evolve to a better relationship, or lead you to a more interesting person.

3. He said to be "very careful" with my bisexuality and other "delicate stuff". He said I need to get good at knowing which friends/people you can tell stuff to and who to "limit". He said only his roommate and 2 of his suitemates know he's bisexual. That means he managed to tell 3 people about it without letting 4 other people living with him find out. HOW?I can't say much because I'm straight. Limiting to people you trust is a good strategy, and depends a lot on how the other people are at college. Are they conservative, or very liberal? If you think they might be very conservative, maybe a different college option would be best for you, honestly.

Hope I could/can help ^^