Sex

[JonnyH]

Why do I feel like when I had sex for the very first time I feel like ashamed, shy, embarassed and guilty?

PS. I dont know if this is the right forum to post it.

[Hermes]

We have a bit of a problem in that people start to experience sexual attraction and become horny from puberty onwards but those who go on to have children, which is, of course, the biological purpose of sex tend to do that somewhat later, maybe ten years or more later, possibly having got married first. What happens in the meantime? There are risks associated with sex including the risk of unplanned pregnancy, the risk of STDs and the risk of emotional turmoil when one partner interprets sex as an act of love while the other partner just wanted sex.

The need to ensure people are aware of these risks can certainly come across as a very negative message, and some organisations do go as far as advovating abstinence as the solution. Add that to the more subtle messages that comes from sex needing to be done in private and the overall picture can be pretty guilt-inducing.

I don't believe anyone can decide for anyone else when starting to have sex is the right course of action. If you have mitigated the risks and it is consensual it is up to you.

[Bluebyrd]

It depends what type of guilt you feel

[jeans_kid]

shy because you were doing it for the first time and didn't know whether you did it well?
embarrassed because you were naked in front of the person you loved for the first time?
guilty and ashamed because you were taught not to have sex before getting married?

[Henri-K]

I was clueless on my first time, and I did feel very embarrassed afterwards. But it didn't really stop me, soon I'm used to it.

[Just JT]

shy because you were doing it for the first time and didn't know whether you did it well?
embarrassed because you were naked in front of the person you loved for the first time?
guilty and ashamed because you were taught not to have sex before getting married?

I think all those feelings are normal and valid, and the reasons yiu say are very real to. Other than that, I've learned that there is an emotional connection/bond that happens between two people having sex together, such a bond is not something I think kids our age can really be ready for yet, cause we ain't all developed that way yet, and we recognize that, after the deed is done, and realize we can't give ourselves to the person we will spend the rest of our life with, to, in that way

Just my thought is all, so I avoid I'd tbh.... as much as I seek it, and it's hard to, but there's other stuff we can do to play with someone in that way

Hope that helps bro, just my thought, and I've done a lota thinkin and talkin on this topic recently, and it works for me...

Just be cool with it and don't feel pressured, if it don't feel good, don't do it...

[sysrq]

Unexpected sexual experimentation between friends (never had a chance to experience it yet only some light sexual experimentation during early childhood years) is different than relationships.
As for guilt and shame. There are people who are unable to experience good sex because their personality tends to over-analyse everything or because of sexual shaming, religious upbringing, indirect hints. Only thing left is to wait for the ''right'' person (it can happen after one day or after a lifetime) and try to change your way of thinking or wait when you caught yourself in the heat of the moment which doesn't happen for everyone, for some it happens naturally and they don't understand how can it be that someone has different set of experiences.