I had a massive breakdown today

[WanderingHeart]

I haven't posted much in, what, two months now? I'm really sorry about that.
I'll just spill out whatever I can.
4 days ago I completely quit junk food because I'm overweight and I know I need to start taking care of my health. The day before though I had gone to Mall of America (biggest mall in America I think..not the point) and when I had gotten home I just felt very unstable. I had a really bad time there but I'm too tired to talk about it now (almost 11 pm here).

And well, today I just completely lost it. I was crying *all day* and I seriously couldn't control myself. I didn't eat and all I did was sit in my bed and cry while I talked to my best friend, who is so helpful and I'm so grateful to have her.

My mom kept nagging at me to eat but I didn't want to and it got worse as she yelled and tried to take my tablet away because my family wanted to check everything on it. They have some mindset that my tablet makes me cry apparently. I hate how they don't understand what they're doing wrong.

Anyways, I cried and I cried and I cried. Didn't let my mom take my tablet. My best friend, who is all the way in Palestine by the way. Stayed up texting me when she should've been sleeping. God damn I love her so much. She's my whole world.

Once she got off because I had calmed down (about an hour ago) my mom ended up convincing me to eat. I couldn't control myself and ended up stuffing my face with pizza and chips. Sigh, the perks of being a stress eater :whoops:
I am creating a brand new diet plan though, along with an exercise though. And I need to find a new way to cope, other than eating :yeah: after I ate the pizza and chips though I felt better. Not completely stable but I'm a bit better now >.<. My best friend is so great, I could go on for hours on how amazing she is.

Next time I have another day like this (and I get the feeling it'll be soon) I honestly just wanna ask to go to the hospital. I don't feel safe, I was close to a suicide attempt today without anyone knowing about it. How would I go about asking for this?

Thanks for listening. You guys are awesome.

[ptz7649]

So many people are going through this and we're all right behind you. You should know that before I say anything else about your post.

About the eating, it's important that you see a doctor or someone quick. If you see a doctor or a dietitian, they can advise the amount of food that is healthy and right for you.

PLEASE DO NOT CREATE YOUR OWN DIET PLAN. TRUST ME ON THIS, ITS IMPORTANT TO GET PROFFESIONAL ADVICE. EATING DISORDER OR NOT.

About feeling that you want to go to hospital. I FEEL YOU. I know what you mean. I was once in a simliar situation with my eating disorder, before it got really really bad.
The thing is though, when it does get really really bad, it's difficult to break out and reach for help.

I admire you for trying to seek help. It's incredibly brave, especially that you can see that you might endanger yourself in any way.

Remember, keep your friends and family close. They are the breeze that pushes your ship from the stormy sea to the safe shore. You just can't get over this kind of thing without support.

I wish you all the best

[WanderingHeart]

So many people are going through this and we're all right behind you. You should know that before I say anything else about your post.

About the eating, it's important that you see a doctor or someone quick. If you see a doctor or a dietitian, they can advise the amount of food that is healthy and right for you.

PLEASE DO NOT CREATE YOUR OWN DIET PLAN. TRUST ME ON THIS, ITS IMPORTANT TO GET PROFFESIONAL ADVICE. EATING DISORDER OR NOT.

About feeling that you want to go to hospital. I FEEL YOU. I know what you mean. I was once in a simliar situation with my eating disorder, before it got really really bad.
The thing is though, when it does get really really bad, it's difficult to break out and reach for help.

I admire you for trying to seek help. It's incredibly brave, especially that you can see that you might endanger yourself in any way.

Remember, keep your friends and family close. They are the breeze that pushes your ship from the stormy sea to the safe shore. You just can't get over this kind of thing without support.

I wish you all the best



I don't have an eating disorder though ._. ..I really hope you get better.
My family are the LAST people to go to for support (you're knew so you don't know my family is shitty as fuck). The doctor told me last September (2014) that my problem is I don't exercise (I never told her about my stress eating issue though). Meh.

I don't HAVE any support from doctors or immediate family or whatever. My only support honestly is my best friend (also my cousin). She asked her dad who knows a lot about health stuff on that though.

[ptz7649]

I don't have an eating disorder though ._. ..I really hope you get better.
My family are the LAST people to go to for support (you're knew so you don't know my family is shitty as fuck). The doctor told me last September (2014) that my problem is I don't exercise (I never told her about my stress eating issue though). Meh.

I don't HAVE any support from doctors or immediate family or whatever. My only support honestly is my best friend (also my cousin). She asked her dad who knows a lot about health stuff on that though.
oh, I'm so sorry to hear that about your family! Keep your friend close. I just hope you get better x

[WanderingHeart]

oh, I'm so sorry to hear that about your family! Keep your friend close. I just hope you get better x

Thank you, I really appreciate it.

[Tesserax]

I haven't posted much in, what, two months now? I'm really sorry about that.
I'll just spill out whatever I can.
4 days ago I completely quit junk food because I'm overweight and I know I need to start taking care of my health. The day before though I had gone to Mall of America (biggest mall in America I think..not the point) and when I had gotten home I just felt very unstable. I had a really bad time there but I'm too tired to talk about it now (almost 11 pm here).

And well, today I just completely lost it. I was crying *all day* and I seriously couldn't control myself. I didn't eat and all I did was sit in my bed and cry while I talked to my best friend, who is so helpful and I'm so grateful to have her.

My mom kept nagging at me to eat but I didn't want to and it got worse as she yelled and tried to take my tablet away because my family wanted to check everything on it. They have some mindset that my tablet makes me cry apparently. I hate how they don't understand what they're doing wrong.

Anyways, I cried and I cried and I cried. Didn't let my mom take my tablet. My best friend, who is all the way in Palestine by the way. Stayed up texting me when she should've been sleeping. God damn I love her so much. She's my whole world.

Once she got off because I had calmed down (about an hour ago) my mom ended up convincing me to eat. I couldn't control myself and ended up stuffing my face with pizza and chips. Sigh, the perks of being a stress eater :whoops:
I am creating a brand new diet plan though, along with an exercise though. And I need to find a new way to cope, other than eating :yeah: after I ate the pizza and chips though I felt better. Not completely stable but I'm a bit better now >.<. My best friend is so great, I could go on for hours on how amazing she is.

Next time I have another day like this (and I get the feeling it'll be soon) I honestly just wanna ask to go to the hospital. I don't feel safe, I was close to a suicide attempt today without anyone knowing about it. How would I go about asking for this?

Thanks for listening. You guys are awesome.

Hey, I'm glad you're okay. Listen, this breakdown is good, albeit unusual. It's trigger I've never seen the likes of before, but I can only assume it was due to an overflow. But don't worry, this is very good. After awhile, all our bottled up emotions can really start to affect us, and I know this from personal experience, including a couple of violent experiences I had when I was younger. Going to the hospital may be a good idea for next time, but always remember that it's best that you let out your emotions somehow. Honestly, even though I do feel all is starting to become much better for me now, I can't let any of it out. Everything I do or feel keeps bottling up, and I'm just screaming inside sometimes, but nothing can come out because I've had to hold it in for so long that I can't let it out anymore. Anyway, glad you're okay, and remember, all part of the recovery :)