A lost boy in a lost world

[gongjiaoguy]

I'm writing this because I think at this point I'm too much of an emotionally damaged person.

I'm 14 this year and go to a Catholic secondary school in Singapore. Our school is rather prestigious, and the academic expectations here are insane. Being part of a special learning program I have tons of homework along with many projects constantly, and I'm always being swamped by them. It fucking sucks. My classmates all irk me because they're all so shallow, and they just don't understand me. If you don't know, the education system in Singapore is cutthroat, and I'm basically dying. Everyday, just dying.

Then there's family matters. My dad is constantly annoying me, and my mum is always stressed at the slightest of things. My sister is extremely bitchy too. I always have to help out with the laundry even if I'm busy with schoolwork, which drives me insane.

Then, my church. In church we have a small church group which is supposed to feel like your family but I'm always ostracized, because I'm not sporty like the other guys. And as much as I want to follow my Christian ideals, I think I'm gay. It's wrong, they always say. But now, I'm not sure what's right and wrong.

I'm left alone and no one cares or understands me. I can't even go through a single day without a depressed thought. I can't take it anymore. I need something or someone to help me. And I don't know where to find it. :(

[drhalsey1]

Well I understand the depression and confusion over sexuality, I had gone to church and was confused myself too, I don't have school stuff like that, but my family can be annoying, if you need help I can try my best

[Arsnic]

Well, my opinion is that ignoring one's own thoughts and blindly following the "ideal" path that you think you want or need is a harmful path to take.
Listen to yourself, and you can probably figure out what to do.

[Plushieluver101]

I'm writing this because I think at this point I'm too much of an emotionally damaged person.


Hello, lovely person! How are we? :) I'm ever so sorry to hear that you're going through a horrendous time :( I hope this advice and words of 'being there' help you, even if that's just a tincy bit :)

I'm 14 this year and go to a Catholic secondary school in Singapore. Our school is rather prestigious, and the academic expectations here are insane. Being part of a special learning program I have tons of homework along with many projects constantly, and I'm always being swamped by them. It fucking sucks. My classmates all irk me because they're all so shallow, and they just don't understand me. If you don't know, the education system in Singapore is cutthroat, and I'm basically dying. Everyday, just dying.


I'm sorry that you're expected to do such high feats, academic-ly :( What is this special learning program, sorry? Do you have special needs, do you mean or do you mean that it's just a special program to help you because you're struggling in school or is it just a special program that is different and is a different 'direction' to others'? Why do you get so much homework? How often are we talking and how much? More than 3 pieces per day?


Your classmates are irking you? Aw, I'm sorry to hear that :( Are you 'friends' with any of these classmates, or? I'm sorry that they treat you with such disrespect, though :( Regardless if this is how the education system is over there, have you asked if you can have some help or, at least, talk about being able to have your homework amount limited a bit? If you don't ask, you'll never know, and such :)

Then there's family matters. My dad is constantly annoying me, and my mum is always stressed at the slightest of things. My sister is extremely bitchy too. I always have to help out with the laundry even if I'm busy with schoolwork, which drives me insane.


How is your dad annoying you? I'm sorry that this is going on, though :( Have you talked to your parents about how their behaviour is affecting you? How is your sister being bickery and how old is she? Sounds like a chat with your parents is in order. Who knows, it may help :)

Then, my church. In church we have a small church group which is supposed to feel like your family but I'm always ostracized, because I'm not sporty like the other guys. And as much as I want to follow my Christian ideals, I think I'm gay. It's wrong, they always say. But now, I'm not sure what's right and wrong.

I could imagine why that'd be wrong. I'm sorry to hear :( Do they bully you, because of this? Do you like going to church or is it just a forced medium on you? Just curious, what makes you think you're gay? I'm gay myself but just curious :) Oh, honeypie, I can imagine! :( Well, you're in the right place. We should be able to help you :)


I'm left alone and no one cares or understands me. I can't even go through a single day without a depressed thought. I can't take it anymore. I need something or someone to help me. And I don't know where to find it. :(




You feel like an outsider? I can relate, sweetie :( Who are you on best terms with? Your mum or your dad? You've come to the right place!



P.S., I hope this 'being there', and such has been adequate enough :)