Boyfriend Disrespect

[SmokyChica]

I go to a karate studio that isn't known for being tough or strict, but I love it there and I'm close to getting a job there. This guy I'm dating asked me out for his birthday dinner last minute, but I said I couldn't because I have work. It's a new schedule I'm working and I'm proud of it, but this guy called my job as a sensei at this specific studio "babysitting," and now he won't talk to me because he has work. I hate that he treats me like this, and this isn't the only thing he disrespects me on. What should I do?

[Karkat]

Ditch him. He's clearly just an asshole, and he'll never learn if people continue to let him be such.

You don't tend to learn to change until your ass is left in the dust a few... Dozen times.

[Seahawks15]

Dump him for sure.He'll never learn if you don't put the fork down and dump him.You don't deserve his crap.

[Abhorrence]

One thing is for certain, do not attempt to bend to his command like some slave. You need to keep your independence and keep everything you want to do, a relationship is meant to enhance your life not make it worse. I think first of all what you should do is talk to him about his behaviour and if he acts like an idiot about this then go ahead and get rid of him. If he can't even have a mature conversation about his behaviour then he isn't worth it.

[Babs]

If he gets pissed because you have previous obligations, then he's an asshole and you deserve better.

[Meganium]

Yeah...hes being pretty immature. I'd bring that up to him,
and if there's no visible change, break it off.

[Uniquemind]

Well I wasn't quite certain about ditching him until you said "this isn't the only thing he disrespects me on", that tells me he's someone you toss out of your life ASAP.

[DoodleSnap]

As Abhorrence (Jack) says, the first step is to have a mature discussion about it. Being dishonest and holding back negative feelings creates gaps in the relationship. It is much better to be honest and free. If he's past the point of speaking rationally about it, then I would say that you should look to ending the relationship. If he disrespects you, tell him how it makes you feel. Don't let him just get away in the silence of awkwardness.

[Emerald Dream]

this guy called my job as a sensei at this specific studio "babysitting," and now he won't talk to me because he has work. I hate that he treats me like this, and this isn't the only thing he disrespects me on.

As others have said, this shows an ongoing problem. I think he is disrespecting you because he thinks he can get away with it.

When in a relationship (or even a friendship) - I think your partner/friend needs to understand that people have different interests, opinions, and needs. Calling a job that you love "babysitting" is intentionally trying to be insulting. Even if he feels that's not really the best job, it's really disrespectful to belittle something you love to do. This doesn't make a healthy relationship. His negative opinion, or lack of support, of your interests should tell you that he isn't really interested in your emotional wellbeing. It's very selfish on his part.

I know it's a difficult thing to do, but I would recommend talking to him about respect, and his lack of support. If he doesn't take it seriously, gets upset, or laughs it off - it just reaffirms what it seems like...that he doesn't care about you as a person.

If talking to him about it fails, then I wouldn't stay with someone who treated me that way. Yes, it hurts - but you are much better off in the long run. I would hate for someone to start believing the negative things they are told about themselves. I would rather be alone then stay with an emotionally abusive boyfriend, just for the sake of "having a boyfriend."

[Zachary G]

if there is no respect in your relationship then there is no relationship, its just that plain and simple. If he doesnt respect you, then why should he have any respect for the relationship? I think its time you move on until you find someone that has respect for you as much as you do for them.

[SmokyChica]

Thank you everyone for the advice... I tried having a conversation with him about this but he kept making jokes and deterring the conversation so I just ended it. I think it's for the best. Thank you everyone for your help I really appreciate it

[KingExplosionMurder]

I go to a karate studio that isn't known for being tough or strict, but I love it there and I'm close to getting a job there. This guy I'm dating asked me out for his birthday dinner last minute, but I said I couldn't because I have work. It's a new schedule I'm working and I'm proud of it, but this guy called my job as a sensei at this specific studio "babysitting," and now he won't talk to me because he has work. I hate that he treats me like this, and this isn't the only thing he disrespects me on. What should I do?

If he's disrespecting you a lot then I say ditch him too. I mean there's plenty of other fish in the sea so yeah that's my answer. If he makes a last minute change then see how it goes for a little while though