Diagnose me, please

[tonymontana99]

Okay, so today I had a big argument with my mom because she was talking about myself in embarassing moments in a restaurant and I ended up saying if I weren't her son, I'd "bash her f**** face in". I literally said that, word by word. This happened because she has become increasingly worried about my loneliness, "depression", apathy and lack of communication.

Here's the deal. I don't like my family. Although they do support me, they have complete lack of respect towards me or my privacy. I don't even have my room decorated to my liking because I don't like for them to know my tastes. She says she's going to get me to a "real psychologist", because apparently the last one I "fooled her around with words and rhetorics".

I was wondering if someone is/was in the same spot as I currently am. Right now, I just want to finish high-school and go to college, so after I get a job I can kiss them goodbye. Here are my "symptoms", in case some expert browses here:

>Arrogant
>Narcissistic
>Sorta with dellusions of grandeur
>Strive for loneliness
>Obsessed with perfection
>Paranoia (constantly afraid of what people say behind my back, cover my phone's camera with tape so I can't be "spied")
>Unresponsive
>Day-dreaming
>Few friends and those I have I can't trust because of paranoia
>Not motivated to go out and meet new people
>Think most teens these days are "degenerates" and don't want to relate with them in any way
>Think there's something intrinsically wrong with going out with people until I'm 18
>Don't decorate my room or want anyone related to me from knowing my music, film, TV, etc. tastes (even though they're completely "normal" and not "edgy" at all).
>See people more as means to achieve ends rather than people themselves.

What do I do? I'm so f**** in the head that it's starting to affect my sanity and how I behave. I feel like I may be a sociopath or something. I've been holding up so much repressed anger towards my family that I end up saying these things. Of course, I'd never kill my mom or anybody... But out of fear of repercussions on ME, not them. I'm at a point where I can't stand them, I can't stand most people, I can't stand other teens and I don't kill myself because that's a coward's way out. Please help me. I don't know if the behaviours I described are normal (not wanting to make friends, wanting to be alone all the time) or if they have any fundamental arguments against me... Thanks.

Oh, I also forgot to mention that by no means I have "fear" of making friends or have social anxiety. At school I'm this guy who's always smiling, talking and joking around (typical kid-who-seats-in-the-back-and-is-actually-a-pretty-cool-guy), but I don't have social interaction after school ends. Partialy because, as I said, I think I'm "superior" to all these people, and second it's because I like to have a clear separation between family and friends, and by no means they should ever cross paths with each others. I don't want my family to know any of my friends, and I don't want my friends to know my family. But, since I also have this "thing" in my brain that tells me that general teen behaviour like sneaking out, or partying, or drinking, or hanging out is degeneracy I don't disobey my parents or authority.

[ptz7649]

obviously I'm just a 13 year old kid that can't really give you a proper diagnosis but I have gone through some really really really bad times and it sounds like you are having a really tough life at the moment.

Seeing a psychologist would definatly do you good but if you think that your mum is never going to actually "get around to it" or simply doesn't know where to go or who to ask, maybe you should make an appointment with your local gp. He will tell you what is the best for you much better than anyone on vt can!

I want you to know that you are not alone and others are in situations just like you. Best wishes!

[tonymontana99]

obviously I'm just a 13 year old kid that can't really give you a proper diagnosis but I have gone through some really really really bad times and it sounds like you are having a really tough life at the moment.

Seeing a psychologist would definatly do you good but if you think that your mum is never going to actually "get around to it" or simply doesn't know where to go or who to ask, maybe you should make an appointment with your local gp. He will tell you what is the best for you much better than anyone on vt can!

I want you to know that you are not alone and others are in situations just like you. Best wishes!

Thanks, man! It's probably Asperger's, my brother has it, and since it's in the genes, I probably have it too. But he ended in the worst side of the spectrum (very "stupid" unfortunately, won't be able to hold a job or create a family), whereas I have a slightly above average intelligence and just poor social skills. I'll just go see a psychologist and hopefully not fool him/her around with rhetorics.

[StoppingTime]

Two things. One, nobody here should "diagnose" you of anything, you should see a professional in the field and talk to them about what you just wrote down. This is a great place for help, but not a place to be (even if it's knowingly unprofessional) diagnosed - that'll just lead you to trouble.

And the other thing is just one line in your post that stuck out to me, the fact that you see yourself as "superior to these people." Everything else aside, this is a rather problematic way to think, mostly because you're probably not really too superior than them.
To be honest I used to think like this a lot - I just thought nobody else got me or was interested in the "smart" stuff I was or whatever, and that was my reason for not socializing very much. But as it turns out, of course, that wasn't the reason. I didn't want to socialize for much more complex reasons, and used the superiority thing as an excuse. But since then I've worked a lot on changing that way of thinking, and it's been incredibly beneficial, at least for me.

[ptz7649]

Thanks, man! It's probably Asperger's, my brother has it, and since it's in the genes, I probably have it too. But he ended in the worst side of the spectrum (very "stupid" unfortunately, won't be able to hold a job or create a family), whereas I have a slightly above average intelligence and just poor social skills. I'll just go see a psychologist and hopefully not fool him/her around with rhetorics.

Good luck:yes:

[Babs]

Nobody on this website should be attempting to diagnose somebody. We're a bunch of teenagers, not medical professionals.

[tonymontana99]

Two things. One, nobody here should "diagnose" you of anything, you should see a professional in the field and talk to them about what you just wrote down. This is a great place for help, but not a place to be (even if it's knowingly unprofessional) diagnosed - that'll just lead you to trouble.

And the other thing is just one line in your post that stuck out to me, the fact that you see yourself as "superior to these people." Everything else aside, this is a rather problematic way to think, mostly because you're probably not really too superior than them.
To be honest I used to think like this a lot - I just thought nobody else got me or was interested in the "smart" stuff I was or whatever, and that was my reason for not socializing very much. But as it turns out, of course, that wasn't the reason. I didn't want to socialize for much more complex reasons, and used the superiority thing as an excuse. But since then I've worked a lot on changing that way of thinking, and it's been incredibly beneficial, at least for me.

True, I use the superiority BS as an excuse, even though it does more harm than good, since it makes me look like a snobbish a-hole. What would you suggest for me to do? My mom just said she's devastated and she won't be talking or meeting me anymore until I go to a psychologist I can't fool with. She's not even going to my birthday. Also, mind if I ask what were your reasons for being like this?

[Collinsworthington]

im nowhere near a professional but my mum has a doctorate in counselling so u can guess how that goes XD id say very mild asbergers, or mild adhd, again just a guess

[tonymontana99]

im nowhere near a professional but my mum has a doctorate in counselling so u can guess how that goes XD id say very mild asbergers, or mild adhd, again just a guess

Probably true regarding the Asperger's, but no way I have ADHD. If I had an "attention deficit", I'd probably not be a very good student. But yeah, to be honest, I'm just antisocial by nature. Even if I didn't have any restrictions, I'd rather stay home and watch a good movie or play videogames than going out to a party and having a bunch of strangers grinding on me. I'm just way too selfish and arrogant to waste my time having to deal with other people, listening to their problems, etc., atleast in most cases. I mean, why do people even go out? What's the point? Having to put up with other people other than at work or school is completely alien to me, I hate it. Literally, I'd rather go to a high-end prostitute than having to waste time building a relationship with a girl. It seems all pointless to me.

Also, the whole situation with my mom has been fixed. Plan A is back on!