Too keen?

[planetzorb]

A few days ago I met a really cute boy at my Year 11 social. He was everything I look for in a guy and honestly I think we really hit it off.

So I pretty much messaged this boy a day or so after the social asking if he'd like to go out with me. I meant 'go out' on a date to get to know each other, but he probably thought I wanted to be his girlfriend straight off the bat. Oops.

Point is, all my friends have told me that I've made a HUGE mistake. I don't really see a problem with telling someone exactly how you feel. I'm not really worried about the relationship anymore; if it's meant to work, it'll work. I'm more worried about the reaction I got among my friends.

Why do we always have to 'play the dating game'? Why can't we just state how we feel and go from there? What's the big deal?

Just some thoughts. I'd love to hear you guys' opinions :)

[Tyson S]

If you like him then definitely ask him out :) there is no problem with speaking your mind

[ptz7649]

He probably admires your courage in just asking him and you never know... Maybe he feels exactly the same way about you but was a little to shy to ask you himself or he was just about to?!
Anyway, have fun on the date if you go :)

[Uniquemind]

There are many reactions that can happen here.


1. He handles it maturely and either accepts or rejects you.

2. He handles it immaturely not knowing how to react and awkwardly accepts or rejects you. In the case of rejection it may be done via shying and distancing away.

3. If he's a jerk he may "accept you" to try to get sex.

--

The game sucks in it's timidity, but it exists because when it comes to people treating each other nicely when power social dynamics are involved....we get competitive and backstabbish.

Your friends reactions make sense in this context. They don't want to see you get hurt by an ill intentioned guy whom none of you know well, who has no problem manipulating your honesty for his own gain.

The answer is the game exists because of a lack of trust.

[DoodleSnap]

There are plenty of problems with the way in which we approach dating in the English-speaking world, and not being honest and speaking what you feel is prime among them, in my opinion. A healthy relationship is based off of communication and honesty, so to hide one's intent and play games seems illogical to me. But meh, that's the way it is. I think that the most special thing is finding someone you can be fully honest with, but that's just my $0.02.