Is It Right For A Teenage Girl To Be Interested In BDSM?

[VanillaBubbles1]

I am ashamed to admit this. Really, I am. As a sixteen year old girl who isn't allowed to join BDSM sites or join adult talk forums, however, this is my only choice...confessing my horrifying interest to the Virtual Teen universe and hoping to not to bombarded with hate and confusion.

I've been into hardcore sex scenes for as long as I can remember...Wait, no. I take that back. I've been into good sex scenes for quite some time, but just recently, I've been craving a sado/maso relationship with a horrible passion. And, I just wanted to know, is there something wrong with me? Like, psychologically wrong? Or am I going through a phase? Or...if you happen to be an adult on this site with some sort of BDSM-like knowledge, is desiring a semi-abusive relationship something most submissives do before they actually find a dominant partner?

Please help. And any question you're willing to ask, I'll try to answer them.

Thanks...
~Bubble

[StoppingTom]

Nah I don't think it's wrong, but BDSM, from what I understand, is about a LOT of trust, and I don't think abusive=BDSM.

[VanillaBubbles1]

Nah I don't think it's wrong, but BDSM, from what I understand, is about a LOT of trust, and I don't think abusive=BDSM.

Oh, okay. *phew* Thank you. And yeah, trust and commitment is a big part of it. Abuse really isn't a part of it so much as pain...well, if you're into that kind of thing that is...I think, lol. Anyways, thanks again!

[StoppingTom]

Oh, okay. *phew* Thank you. And yeah, trust and commitment is a big part of it. Abuse really isn't a part of it so much as pain...well, if you're into that kind of thing that is...I think, lol. Anyways, thanks again!

No problem, but (I think you know this), finding something like this at 16 probably won't be happening any time soon. Most guys at this age don't really have any idea or concept of this kind of stuff in a serious way.

[Laibachd]

nothing wrong with being interested in BDSM ^^

[Jaffe]

I don't think it is "wrong". I can't judge that. I think it's probably normal to like it, esp since you aren't allowed to see it. I'm not allowed to view any kind of porn that involves violence at all, BDSM included, and so it does kind of fascinate me. But I'm really not much into porn at all, because once my parents told me it was okay to watch (just not violent or bdsm kind of stuff), it took away the novelty and I kinda lost interest. Yup, reverse psychology works on me, really well. I don't think anyone here will judge you for it, or hate on you for it, it's normal to be curious about it. Best of luck dealing with the parents, though. And who knows, it might be a "phase". Our tastes and needs change weekly during puberty, so you might just lose interest in it at some point.

[Uniquemind]

I think it's normal, it's just concerning from what I've read or researched.

Not all sexual acts have the same level of physical intensity, and there are a lot of things you need to know medically, biologically, and psychologically in terms of general knowledge and about yourself personally before jumping into such a situation.



Finding a partner whom isn't a creepy psychopath is a whole other task that's hard to accomplish even in of itself.

Trust is a must and creepy people who are psychopaths like to run in these circles to find submissive victims to whom they won't care about consent.

Real trustworthy BDSM partners are extremely hard to find, and next to impossible among teenage age group.

Also it's important for you to understand where your interest and to what degree your interest in BDSM comes from and how far it will go. This is necessary to effectively communicate what you want and want your limits are to a partner.


Are you submissive, dominant, or a switch?

Do you just like mild surrendering of control in the bedroom, or are you into like slaughterhouse type gadgets used in bed? (Hooks, weights, electricity, cages, etc.)


You need to know all these things about yourself before you even begin looking for a partner.

If it's just a trust thing i suggest staying away from the really intense stuff that has a high risk of bodily damage if something goes wrong.


P.S. BDSM is never about abuse and always about communication, trust, and consent 100% of the time.

If it's ever abusive you've met a creepy partner and is probably a shark.

[Riley2015]

It's not ''wrong'' but its something you should approach with some caution cos there will be people who are nutters or something that could get dangerous or out of hand. Just be cautious about it and have fun :)

[DoodleSnap]

I don't see it as wrong, as (when done correctly!) it is simply role-playing, and requires a strong foundation of trust and caring. Plenty of people desire to be dominated or to dominate, and role-playing safely isn't harmful or 'wrong'.

[tonymontana99]

Of course, why not? There's nothing intrinsically wrong with it. But... Don't tell your parents.

[SethfromMI]

It's not ''wrong'' but its something you should approach with some caution cos there will be people who are nutters or something that could get dangerous or out of hand. Just be cautious about it and have fun :)

definitely got to be careful who you do this type of stuff with for sure

[VanillaBubbles1]

No problem, but (I think you know this), finding something like this at 16 probably won't be happening any time soon. Most guys at this age don't really have any idea or concept of this kind of stuff in a serious way.
Ugh. I know. And that's such a bummer, too because I feel like I'm ready for it, you know? Like...maybe I'm just being rash and ruled by my hormones, and when I'm older I'm going to look back on this and be like "wtf?" but right now...I can't imagine wanting anything more than an intimate BDSM relationship with someone. Well, that and perfect grades.

I don't think it is "wrong". I can't judge that. I think it's probably normal to like it, esp since you aren't allowed to see it. I'm not allowed to view any kind of porn that involves violence at all, BDSM included, and so it does kind of fascinate me. But I'm really not much into porn at all, because once my parents told me it was okay to watch (just not violent or bdsm kind of stuff), it took away the novelty and I kinda lost interest. Yup, reverse psychology works on me, really well. I don't think anyone here will judge you for it, or hate on you for it, it's normal to be curious about it. Best of luck dealing with the parents, though. And who knows, it might be a "phase". Our tastes and needs change weekly during puberty, so you might just lose interest in it at some point.

Yeah, you're probably right. If It is a phase, I just hope I get over it soon. And really? Your parents okayed you watching porn like that? xD My mom would kill me if she even found out I was on this site, let alone watching porn!

I think it's normal, it's just concerning from what I've read or researched.

Not all sexual acts have the same level of physical intensity, and there are a lot of things you need to know medically, biologically, and psychologically in terms of general knowledge and about yourself personally before jumping into such a situation.



Finding a partner whom isn't a creepy psychopath is a whole other task that's hard to accomplish even in of itself.

Trust is a must and creepy people who are psychopaths like to run in these circles to find submissive victims to whom they won't care about consent.

Real trustworthy BDSM partners are extremely hard to find, and next to impossible among teenage age group.

Also it's important for you to understand where your interest and to what degree your interest in BDSM comes from and how far it will go. This is necessary to effectively communicate what you want and want your limits are to a partner.


Are you submissive, dominant, or a switch?

Do you just like mild surrendering of control in the bedroom, or are you into like slaughterhouse type gadgets used in bed? (Hooks, weights, electricity, cages, etc.)


You need to know all these things about yourself before you even begin looking for a partner.

If it's just a trust thing i suggest staying away from the really intense stuff that has a high risk of bodily damage if something goes wrong.


P.S. BDSM is never about abuse and always about communication, trust, and consent 100% of the time.

If it's ever abusive you've met a creepy partner and is probably a shark.

Oh my gosh...that was in depth and so true. I definitely need to do more research on living life as a submissive in a relationship like that before I get myself into one...the last thing I need is for my mom to find me naked, dead and in a ditch and then for the police to say that I was sexually involved with a lunatic.

Thank you for this. I feel more ready to hold off on searching for a partner now, and trust myself to at least weight until I'm 18 or 19 to meet up with anyone.

True, true. ^-^ Thank you!

[everlong]

That's nothing bad. Having odd things to be interested in is nothing to be ashamed of.

[StoppingTom]

Ugh. I know. And that's such a bummer, too because I feel like I'm ready for it, you know? Like...maybe I'm just being rash and ruled by my hormones, and when I'm older I'm going to look back on this and be like "wtf?" but right now...I can't imagine wanting anything more than an intimate BDSM relationship with someone. Well, that and perfect grades.

Priorities! No, I think you've got your head on straight and you're just figuring stuff out about yourself, which is supposed to happen around this age I think???

That's nothing bad. Having odd things to be interested in is nothing to be ashamed of.

I don't think there's really anything odd about it, tbh. Different strokes and all.

[sweettayla]

l don't see anything wrong with being interested in it or wanting to try it, just be careful in who you choose to try it with. As creepy as it may seem, an older guy with an understanding of BDSM may be a better choice than someone your own age with no idea.

[Living For Love]

This is not appropriate. :locked: