Selfishness in relationship

[denicedak]

I wonder why girls are so needy at all times and also being and also clinging on men too much and i wonder if this is healthy in a relationship?

[Abhorrence]

This is definitely not all girls so no, this wouldn't be a healthy relationship in my opinion. Although some people appreciate neediness and clinginess as a form of affection, so I guess it depends on the point of view.

[Meh Guy]

It depends on how clingy they are. In my experience most girls get clingy as a way to show affection but if they're constantly nagging or needing something from you or always want to be with you then this may not be the healthiest. If you have someone like that just talk to them about it and ask for some space

[Jaffe]

Definitely not all girls are this way. And some guys definitely are this way. I don't think it is gender-specific, just that society tells us that is how it should be so we try to conform, boys try to be tough and independent, girls try to be emotional and needy.

From either side, its probably not healthy, but its not necessarily unhealthy either. If it becomes overwhelming to the non-needy one, then its unhealthy and they should talk it out.

[Olly2001]

I don't think it's very fair to say all girls are needy. There definitely some clingy guys out there too. Some people are just more affectionate than others and want to spend more time with their boyfriend/girlfriend

[Uniquemind]

I'm actually going to suggest relationship therapy for any aged couple regardless if they're kids or not.

I think it would solve a lot of problems and actually foster mature relationship reflection and analyzation.

It also might uncover traumas that are influencing clingy behaviors.

[DoodleSnap]

It would be a ridiculous, and incorrect, generalisation to state that all girls are needy in relationships. If someone is being 'needy', then you need to speak about it and sort it out.

[denicedak]

It would be a ridiculous, and incorrect, generalisation to state that all girls are needy in relationships. If someone is being 'needy', then you need to speak about it and sort it out.

I mean lets be truthfull girls are more needy in a relationship than men, you cant go straight foward telling your girlfriend that she is needy you and it bothers you that much that will really mess her up along with your relationship

[simplired]

I wonder why girls are so needy at all times and also being and also clinging on men too much and i wonder if this is healthy in a relationship?

From what I've sen, if a girl is needy in a relationship, it's probably because she's analyzing everything and needs reassurance that, yes she IS in a relationship. She's probably just insecure and doesn't want to lose the relationship so she overworks at it.

Or she's just naturally needy/dramatic.

[DoodleSnap]

I mean lets be truthfull girls are more needy in a relationship than men, you cant go straight foward telling your girlfriend that she is needy you and it bothers you that much that will really mess her up along with your relationship
I am being very truthful, and I will reiterate that this sort of generalisation is ignorant and ridiculous.
It is sexist, rude, and quite frankly, abhorrent. I worry for you if you genuinely believe this.

[Body odah Man]

I wonder why girls are so needy at all times and also being and also clinging on men too much and i wonder if this is healthy in a relationship?

Not healthy at all.

[KingExplosionMurder]

I wonder why girls are so needy at all times and also being and also clinging on men too much and i wonder if this is healthy in a relationship?

Not all girls are like this lol but I don't think it is. I mean I don't have a girlfriend/boyfriend so I wouldn't fully know. I guess girls just like their date so much that they never wanna let go. Guess you'll have to deal with it if you really love her :P

[denicedak]

I am being very truthful, and I will reiterate that this sort of generalisation is ignorant and ridiculous.
It is sexist, rude, and quite frankly, abhorrent. I worry for you if you genuinely belive this.

Its neither rude nor sexist but its the sad truth also i dont believe in this kind of generalisation at all times but its the reality nowadays

[prepkid813]

I'm pretty needy in my relationship. What isn't healthy is if the girl feels she needs to depend on you to live or if you are what makes her feel secure. You should just be an add on to her life, not her entire life

[ClaraWho]

I'm actually going to suggest relationship therapy for any aged couple regardless if they're kids or not.

I think it would solve a lot of problems and actually foster mature relationship reflection and analyzation.

It also might uncover traumas that are influencing clingy behaviors.

I disagree purely on the basis that young relationships rarely last long and that most people aren't meant to be together, which is usually worked out through mistakes outside the remit of therapy.

It would be a ridiculous, and incorrect, generalisation to state that all girls are needy in relationships. If someone is being 'needy', then you need to speak about it and sort it out.

I am being very truthful, and I will reiterate that this sort of generalisation is ignorant and ridiculous.
It is sexist, rude, and quite frankly, abhorrent. I worry for you if you genuinely belive this.

I know I liked this comment, but It stops me from ranting myself.

~ Clara

[Uniquemind]

I disagree purely on the basis that young relationships rarely last long and that most people aren't meant to be together, which is usually worked out through mistakes outside the remit of therapy.





I know I liked this comment, but It stops me from ranting myself.

~ Clara

Yeah but there are people who experience trauma from even relationships in their early teens. Why not get them access to relationship therapy?


Relationship "baggage" can start at any age and affect how you approach and maintain relationships going forward.

If you expecting something like a really emotionally devastating breakup or other really tough event, wouldn't you want to see a counselor or something? Wouldn't society be better off with such a system?

[ClaraWho]

Yeah but there are people who experience trauma from even relationships in their early teens. Why not get them access to relationship therapy?


Relationship "baggage" can start at any age and affect how you approach and maintain relationships going forward.

If you expecting something like a really emotionally devastating breakup or other really tough event, wouldn't you want to see a counselor or something? Wouldn't society be better off with such a system?

Lol oh give it a rest. I mean seriously, read what I'm saying and stop exaggerating it.

I never said counselling didn't have any role to play for certain individuals, but your suggestion seemed to be going to the extreme, claiming everyone should have counselling.

Just be sensible, and if you feel you need help with any emotionally distressing matter that starts largely impacting your life, then don't hesitate to seek it.

Unfortunately education systems aren't up to scratch with teaching coping mechanisms and relationship advice, and counselling services are few and oversubscribed.

That won't change any time soon.

~ Clara

[DoodleSnap]

Its neither rude nor sexist but its the sad truth also i dont believe in this kind of generalisation at all times but its the reality nowadays
Here is the definition of sexism:

"Prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex."

Your comment about all women in relationships being needy is, as you said yourself a generalisation, thus falling under the definition of sexism, as you are generalising an entire sex. This is half of the population we are talking about.

You have no evidence to back up your point, and not knowing the vast majority of women in relationships, you are in a position where you are unable to speak for them. This is textbook sexism. You have no right to make that assumption.

Nothing has changed because of "nowadays", you just fail to see that there is no one trait common to all people, and any statement suggesting that x people are a certain way, apart from x people who behave a certain way behave a certain way, is not valid in any meaningful discussion.

From actual, real experience, I can tell you that some people are needy, some people aren't. Some are men, some are women, and some are in between, but you should judge someone's character based on how they act, not what is between their legs.
I don't know what sort of cultural background you come from to think this way, but I feel compelled to inform you that your actions and line of thought have no place in the modern educated world.

It is rude to women, and it is rude to me.

I strongly suggest that you rethink your statement, and at least attempt to change your predisposition towards women, because it is not an endearing trait.

If you want to have a healthy relationship with a woman, or anyone else, then you need to speak to them. Assuming that they are gonna be a certain way is not the key to a happy relationship, at all.

/endrant
ClaraWho, this might appeal to you.

[ClaraWho]

Here is the definition of sexism:

"Prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex."

It is rude to women, and it is rude to me.

I strongly suggest that you rethink your statement, and at least attempt to change your predisposition towards women, because it is not an endearing trait.

If you want to have a healthy relationship with a woman, or anyone else, then you need to speak to them. Assuming that they are gonna be a certain way is not the key to a happy relationship, at all.

/endrant
ClaraWho, this might appeal to you.

Great points well made, I agree with 99% of this. Thanks for the mention too, it's nice to have some support around here for common decency hah.

What I will say, is on the 'not what is between there legs', for 'in between' you might have to look up too xD. :P

~ Clara

[denicedak]

Here is the definition of sexism:

"Prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex."

Your comment about all women in relationships being needy is, as you said yourself a generalisation, thus falling under the definition of sexism, as you are generalising an entire sex. This is half of the population we are talking about.

You have no evidence to back up your point, and not knowing the vast majority of women in relationships, you are in a position where you are unable to speak for them. This is textbook sexism. You have no right to make that assumption.

Nothing has changed because of "nowadays", you just fail to see that there is no one trait common to all people, and any statement suggesting that x people are a certain way, apart from x people who behave a certain way behave a certain way, is not valid in any meaningful discussion.

From actual, real experience, I can tell you that some people are needy, some people aren't. Some are men, some are women, and some are in between, but you should judge someone's character based on how they act, not what is between their legs.
I don't know what sort of cultural background you come from to think this way, but I feel compelled to inform you that your actions and line of thought have no place in the modern educated world.

It is rude to women, and it is rude to me.

I strongly suggest that you rethink your statement, and at least attempt to change your predisposition towards women, because it is not an endearing trait.

If you want to have a healthy relationship with a woman, or anyone else, then you need to speak to them. Assuming that they are gonna be a certain way is not the key to a happy relationship, at all.

/endrant
ClaraWho, this might appeal to you.

you've got me on the wrong side, I agree that men also are so needy in relationships and what I'm saying is that not all women in the world are needy but most of them are needy and selfish. I'm saying that based from experience from previous relationships I've had nearly all the girls i went out with are very demanding and selfish and that's really annoying.

[ClaraWho]

you've got me on the wrong side, I agree that men also are so needy in relationships and what I'm saying is that not all women in the world are needy but most of them are needy and selfish. I'm saying that based from experience from previous relationships I've had nearly all the girls i went out with are very demanding and selfish and that's really annoying.

... So basically what you are saying is 'everyone, male/female, are extremely needy in relationships (vast majority).

In which case it's just part of being human and being in love. In which case there's not much point in discussing it. As that would mean it's 100% expected and normal. So um, yeah... I believe the real answer somewhere in between these extremes.

~ Clara