Felt the same?

[Listener]

A couple days ago I got into a pretty deep "conversation", over snapchat, with a friend of mine. She did somethings that hurt me and really pissed me off. I blew up on her. I usually keep all my feelings inside of me, and I don't tell or show anyone else. After I was done talking to her my entire body felt numb and I was tearing up. This had never happened to me before. What had happened with her then and before really hurt me. I had thoughts of hurting myself. If you have seen a couple of my older posts I have had problems with girls before at a friend level. The girls from my school are weird, kinda messed up... I have flashes in my head of some of these things. I never even thought of seriously hurting myself before. I used to see a therapist. Then my mom just had me quit going. It was for anger management, which I no longer have a problem with. I don't know what to do. I have depressive episodes that usually last for a couple months, but this wasn't like my other ones. It was worse, and really sudden. I don't know what to do. I'm scared of myself.

Also, if you really want to know the details of what happened I could tell you privately.

Hopefully this is the right section.

[ptz7649]

Talk to your mum or another person you trust because they would be more helpful than someone off the internet. If you want my advice, please, please, please don't even start to think about hurting yourself cuz when you start, it's hard to stop and everything goes downhill from there. You can search up some good coping mechanisms for that kind of thing.

Don't worry, it's perfectly normal to have moments like you did with your friend.however awful it feels, so many other people are going through similar situations. Remember that.

It's important to not keep your feelings bottled up ... That's what I used to do but it can cause all sorts of problems. However small it may seem, let someone know. Maybe that's what lead to your anger management... Bottling stuff up?
I'm right behind you x

[Abhorrence]

Having thoughts of harming yourself is an indication that you should return to therapy, it may be a difficult thing to talk about with anyone but it is a good thing.