I just don't get it

[Tesserax]

To put it plain and simple, I really want to get into a relationship. A serious one, a real one, not just kissing, fucking, not sexual. I want an emotional relationship, but I just can't seem to get anything to work.

Some background info:
1. Parents won't let me on a 1 on 1 date, but dad said I can go out in a group and he doesn't care that way
2. I'm Chinese, but grew up in Australia, and though I'm much less socially awkward now as a teen, I just can't seem to get the girl thing working :/
3. I don't really know how to read girls so well, so I don't know if they like me or not and I tend to screw things up when I like somebody

Anyway, I'm not trying to ask for a "Get hot girls begging for the D!" guide, I'm just asking, how can I proceed with things?

If I'm to outline my normal process, so far I just sort of get to know her, and if I like her, I keep being her friend, doing nice things (not that I wouldn't anyway), and then I can't take it anymore and I tell her. This always ends up in rejection of some form, and I know I'm probably rushing things and end up feeling stupid afterwards. But even after the pain, I continue to be the best friend I can to her, it's just that often it ends up in an awkward friendship between us, mainly on my side because I can't look at her the same way. Women have a lasting effect on me for some reason. And no, it doesn't happen often, I have only had a couple of crushes, not a ton, but enough to sort of see a pattern.

Anyway, I just want some advice on making something happen, because I often feel jealous of the couples that I see, wanting what they have. I just want to know how to create that bond, or encourage the other person to give it a shot.

Anyway, thanks for reading, I'm a little tired right now and I can't focus, thanks and have a great day :)

[Abhorrence]

I'm not the best person with dating advice but the one on one thing is kind of the thing you need. But you said you can't have that? I don't really get that but I think if you could actually get on dates that would be good. Also, rather than start a friendship maybe you could just ask someone to go out sometime as a date. Sometimes friendships don't always work to form a relationship because of platonic affection rather than romantic. So, if you could go straight in with it subtly and work it up romantically maybe that would work?

[DoodleSnap]

I think that the first step is working out some way to see someone on your own, maybe not necessarily with any pre-empted purpose, but just to see how things go. Maybe you could ask some friends to help you get out and then give you some privacy? I'm sure they would understand your situation.
I'm of the opinion that you'll know when you fall in love with someone, but plenty of people have happy relationships with people that they have met with dating in mind from the outset. Don't rush it. You have plenty of time for this stuff.
Just look at girls like you would look at anyone else: they're normal people, the only difference is the fear you have of the prospect of dating. Just imagine how you would see a situation. Be honest and speak to them, it's a breath of fresh air. Be yourself, and I'm sure someone will like it.
I'm sorry if this advice is vague, but it's the best I can give.
Good luck.

[Uniquemind]

There are a lot of factors to consider with this problem.

Young people like us, rarely, know what to expect or what criteria to ask for an intense and classy date.

But ideas on how and what to do during an amazing date is a separate problem in terms of finding the right girl and keeping the romance and sexual tension alive.

So you've posed 3 problems:

Issue of parents not allowing 1-1 dates.

1. It's cheesy but ask your parents if you could invite the girl over to your house for a 1-on-1 supervised date, while you cook her dinner (prerequisite: you must learn to cook very well, in how to make sauces, and what kind of food she likes. I recommend steak and chicken dishes, just cook then well and safely).



2. Roll with what your parents allow: group dates

The upside with this is that in these situations you can subtly handhold and make other romantic gestures subtly and build up romantic sexual and emotional tension by little gestures that are appropriate for the public yet obviously convey that your struggling not to rip off their clothes.


The finding of the right partner

This is the toughest of all the problems partly because it's rare to find someone who is dating seriously in their early teens and because generally it's hard to find someone who knows themselves really well and what they want out of life. (Career, family, job, and how their free time schedule works in the face of all those life requirements).

Also if your partner is dating you for social status benefits rather than genuine true attraction, that can be a problem too. But you won't know that unless you can read minds.

You'll have to really look for those true people, or "old-soul" type people.

(For me I had to date an older person to get the quality experience in a date)

Keep the romance alive:

You will always have to work to keep sexual excitement alive in a relationship otherwise the romance will tend to fizzle and you will find yourself back in the friendzone.

That being said that's separate from having that emotional connection with a partner, and that comes with time and experiences.

[Jaffe]

I don't think the friends-to-relationship thing works very often. Better to start a relationship with someone outside your circle of friends.

But to solve the issue with parents rules, you could invite the person on a "date" where you are meeting up with a group for some activity. Still, you would be there as a couple, with each other, but your parents would be satisfied it was a group activity.