Im Grounded For The Entire 6 Weeks Summer Holidays

[Riley2015]

Hi i'm new here, i came here to ask for some advice/support. My names Riley, i'm 13 year old boy from london uk, i'll be 14 fairly soon.

Anyway i'm big into my football and play on the school team. A few days ago i got into a bit of a fight with another boy on the team in the school changing rooms before we went out, some of the other boys split us up before our teacher had noticed. So it all seemed fine. When we got on the pitch this boy goaded me into pushing him infront of the teacher and told him i was picking on him which i wasn't, i only pushed him because he goaded me . Teacher told me to stop picking on him . We started to play and during the game he ran at me and then delibarately pushed into me so i pushed him off me and he fell on the ground. Teacher blamed me again, gave me a few detentions. I thought big deal i can handle that

When i got in from school dad was waiting to tell me the teacher had rang him up to report me for bullying, he asked me to explain and i told him what happened, he decided i was lying and that i should get punished and so now i'm grounded for the entire 6 weeks summer holidays that are about to start next week. From now until i go back in september i'm grounded :(

Does anyone think this punishment is unfair? I think it is,grounded for the entire 6 week break, 6 weeks stuck indoors :(

My dad is quite strict incase you didn't guess already

Any advice how i can cope with this punishment? or how to get him to believe me about it? I feel really depressed about it just now. I was looking forward to 6 weeks of fun with my mates etc. Instead now i'm stuck in my room all day everyday for 6 weeks, its going to drag and it will drive me nuts!

Thanks everyone for reading :)

[StoppingTom]

It's pretty difficult to change a parent's mind if you have no substantial proof to back yourself up with. I don't know your past history of getting in trouble or anything, so I don't know if this punishment stems from other punishments given to you. Try to keep on your best behavior for a bit and see if your parents lighten up on your punishment. In any case, you'll live through 6 weeks, it won't be the end of the world for you.

[Abhorrence]

Six weeks indoors can cause you to go stir crazy man, that wouldn't be good for you.

[Riley2015]

It's pretty difficult to change a parent's mind if you have no substantial proof to back yourself up with. I don't know your past history of getting in trouble or anything, so I don't know if this punishment stems from other punishments given to you. Try to keep on your best behavior for a bit and see if your parents lighten up on your punishment. In any case, you'll live through 6 weeks, it won't be the end of the world for you.

I have had other punishments but i've not been in trouble for over a month now. My last punishment was a month grounded and that was during school time so i only had after school and the weekends stuck in, this will be a whole lot worse

Six weeks indoors can cause you to go stir crazy man, that wouldn't be good for you.

When my dad grounds me he makes me stay in my room too. I mean proper stay in there. He's told me i can expect to spend most of the time in my room during the 6 weeks

[Abhorrence]

When my dad grounds me he makes me stay in my room too. I mean proper stay in there. He's told me i can expect to spend most of the time in my room during the 6 weeks

Jesus that sounds like near child abuse, maybe you can try reasoning with him? I've never had an issue with strict parenting

[Riley2015]

Jesus that sounds like near child abuse, maybe you can try reasoning with him? I've never had an issue with strict parenting

Once his minds made up he doesn't very often change it, aEON was spot on cos he is just like that

That boy from school would have a proper laugh about this if he knew. I still have to see him at school this week but don't want to let him know so he could laugh about it

[mrjc]

sounds a nightmare mate, hope he relents after time but if not we will talk to you to get through :)

[Riley2015]

sounds a nightmare mate, hope he relents after time but if not we will talk to you to get through :)

Thanks mate, its not likely i'll have much if any internet access over the 6 weeks, i'm only allowed on here now because he thinks i'm working on a school project :lol:

[Riley2015]

i forgot to mention that i dropped down on my knees while i explained my story and stayed there while being told my punishment cos i knew what punishment was coming so i kneeled and made an attempt to ask for a bit of leniency.it failed :whoops:

[mrjc]

not sure that was a good idea but still un-fair on you

[Riley2015]

not sure that was a good idea but still un-fair on you

Yeah probably wasn't a good idea :whoops:

[mrjc]

hope he relents hope it works out :)

[Riley2015]

hope he relents hope it works out :)

He never has before, i don't think he will now either....and i'm not allowed to mention it or ask him to reconsider. Once he makes up his mind on a punishment he expects me to accept it and not try to argue.That just makes him annoyed

[SethfromMI]

unfair? yes but it sadly does not sound like there is much you can do about it man. maybe some of your mates can help stick up for you with the coach. best of luck

[Riley2015]

unfair? yes but it sadly does not sound like there is much you can do about it man. maybe some of your mates can help stick up for you with the coach. best of luck

My mates did try sticking up for me with the coach but he wasn't keen to listen. I also tried to get the other boy to give the more accurate story to the coach but he just refused, so i'm buggered tbh :mad:

The boy doesn't know i'm grounded so if i was to tell him that it may make him take pity on me...but i'm not going to even try it cos i'd rather not tell him that thanks to him i'm grounded for the rest of the summer, he'd find it pretty funny

[Body odah Man]

My mates did try sticking up for me with the coach but he wasn't keen to listen. I also tried to get the other boy to give the more accurate story to the coach but he just refused, so i'm buggered tbh :mad:

The boy doesn't know i'm grounded so if i was to tell him that it may make him take pity on me...but i'm not going to even try it cos i'd rather not tell him that thanks to him i'm grounded for the rest of the summer, he'd find it pretty funny

I'd tell him tbh. He'd (hopefully) feel pity and help you cuz that punishment is a. harmful (humans need sun= vitamin D)
b. will drive you ape shit insane

Then again thriteen year old boys are dicks (I totally was) so gl.

[Riley2015]

I'd tell him tbh. He'd (hopefully) feel pity and help you cuz that punishment is a. harmful (humans need sun= vitamin D)
b. will drive you ape shit insane

Then again thriteen year old boys are dicks (I totally was) so gl.

Thanks, your advice is probably the more sensible option but i won't be doing it, my pride i guess. Maybe it would help get me off the punishment but i'll never find that out...so it looks like i'm stuck with the punishment

Now that i think about it a bit more i really shouldn't have retaliated when he goaded me anyway

[SethfromMI]

still, if he was picking on you, Id probably react too. it is sad your father won't listen to your side or just doesn't care

[Stronk Serb]

It's weird how he doesn't believe you. Not much you can do. Maybe help out your parents about things so they easen it up a bit. Worked for me.

[Riley2015]

still, if he was picking on you, Id probably react too. it is sad your father won't listen to your side or just doesn't care

He listened, he just didn't believe me. His words after i explained my side of it were ''you're going to be sitting in your room for 6 weeks looking at the wall... you're grounded for the summer'' i then said ''so you don't believe me?'' he said ''no i don't'' and that was it.

[Riley2015]

It's weird how he doesn't believe you. Not much you can do. Maybe help out your parents about things so they easen it up a bit. Worked for me.

Yes i will ask for chores to help pass the time a bit :)

[Microcosm]

I can't stand it when parents don't believe their kids. I get it if your kid is super mischievous, but that isn't always the case. My parents trust me entirely, thank goodness. That really sucks and I think the punishment is entirely unfair.

[SethfromMI]

He listened, he just didn't believe me. His words after i explained my side of it were ''you're going to be sitting in your room for 6 weeks looking at the wall... you're grounded for the summer'' i then said ''so you don't believe me?'' he said ''no i don't'' and that was it.

that's tough man. sadly it doesn't sound like there is much you can do

[Riley2015]

I can't stand it when parents don't believe their kids. I get it if your kid is super mischievous, but that isn't always the case. My parents trust me entirely, thank goodness. That really sucks and I think the punishment is entirely unfair.

Thanks for your support man.

that's tough man. sadly it doesn't sound like there is much you can do

i know :(

[Hudor]

I don't know your dad but parents usually don't enforce the rules to the letter. So even though it sucks now, maybe if your behaviour is nice enough and you look miserable enough for not being able to go outdoors, your dad might cut down the punishment. Don't ask that guy who framed you for help though. Even apart from the pride issue you'll be exposing a weakness to him which he may exploit again. Even though it seems quite unfair, bear the punishment for now. Hopefully you'll be free soon. :)

[Riley2015]

I don't know your dad but parents usually don't enforce the rules to the letter. So even though it sucks now, maybe if your behaviour is nice enough and you look miserable enough for not being able to go outdoors, your dad might cut down the punishment. Don't ask that guy who framed you for help though. Even apart from the pride issue you'll be exposing a weakness to him which he may exploit again. Even though it seems quite unfair, bear the punishment for now. Hopefully you'll be free soon. :)

Thanks for your post :)

My dad does enforce his punishments to the letter so it seems i have little chance of a reduced punishment. I'm going to behave really well anyway though, won't get my grounding reduced but will make things easier anyway, nothing for me to gain from being badly behaved during my grounding :yes:

Don't worry i won't ask that boy for help, no way

Anyway i have to leave for school now :)

[Hudor]

Thanks for your post :)

My dad does enforce his punishments to the letter so it seems i have little chance of a reduced punishment. I'm going to behave really well anyway though, won't get my grounding reduced but will make things easier anyway, nothing for me to gain from being badly behaved during my grounding :yes:

Don't worry i won't ask that boy for help, no way

Anyway i have to leave for school now :)

Tough luck man. Even though that's a remote possibility is it possible he might have been in a bad mood at that time and may have forgotten the punishment now or might forget it?

[ClaraWho]

Well, you can't go around assaulting people for calling you names. Seems a reasonable punishment if he thought you were the bully. If you don't learn your lesson now, punishments will only get worse.

If you did this to another boy in the street it would be counted as Assault on the Person and could get you arrested.

It sounds like you have a history of making the wrong decisions, and in London (I live here too!) that could get you stabbed depending on where you live.

Spend these 6 weeks thinking hard about who you want to be, and try to only give verbal retaliation if you really feel provoked. Seems he isn't worried about going to teacher's, you might want to try the same before him next time!

One note to add - adults are far more willing to take time to listen to your side of the story if you can give it calmly and without insulting the other boy.

~ Clara

[Riley2015]

Tough luck man. Even though that's a remote possibility is it possible he might have been in a bad mood at that time and may have forgotten the punishment now or might forget it?

No he mentioned it this morning to remind me about it, like i needed reminding, he certainly hasn't forgotten

Well, you can't go around assaulting people for calling you names. Seems a reasonable punishment if he thought you were the bully. If you don't learn your lesson now, punishments will only get worse.

If you did this to another boy in the street it would be counted as Assault on the Person and could get you arrested.

It sounds like you have a history of making the wrong decisions, and in London (I live here too!) that could get you stabbed depending on where you live.

Spend these 6 weeks thinking hard about who you want to be, and try to only give verbal retaliation if you really feel provoked. Seems he isn't worried about going to teacher's, you might want to try the same before him next time!

One note to add - adults are far more willing to take time to listen to your side of the story if you can give it calmly and without insulting the other boy.

~ Clara

I admit i should have restrained myself a bit better, but its not quite the way you seem to think it is. He was goading me, getting in my face and invading my personal space, each time i tried to move away from him he kept getting back in my face, blocking me from moving off. Thats what started the fighting. Then he wanted to provoke me more on the pitch and i foolishly pushed him and the teacher saw that so that looked bad for me. He tnen delibarately ran up and bashed into me, isn't that an assault too? All i did was push him off me to stop him bashing into me more and as a result he fell over. It's not like i thought ''oh it will be really cool to push him to the ground'' It made me look like the one starting it all infront of the teacher because this kid is very subtle in making sure his behaviour is not detected, he pretty much set me up tbh and my mistake was taking the bait and all the teacher saw was me push him twice

You do seem to think i'm some kind of thug, i'm really not :(

[Bull]

Okay, the punishment seems a bit harsh for a shoving match on the pitch. The fact that the coach called your father seems a bit harsh unless you have a reputation for getting into scrapes. However, it is what it is and you seem to have come to the position that you will deal with the grounding in a positive way. For that you are to be congratulated. I hope you like to read and can stock up on some good books. I like books by Brad Thor and Geoffrey Archer. Read newspapers, expand your mind. Do isometrics to build your body. Write a short story. Keep active with both mind and body. I know it is going to be tough but do make the best of the bad situation. Good luck now and in the future.

[ClaraWho]

No he mentioned it this morning to remind me about it, like i needed reminding, he certainly hasn't forgotten



I admit i should have restrained myself a bit better, but its not quite the way you seem to think it is. He was goading me, getting in my face and invading my personal space, each time i tried to move away from him he kept getting back in my face, blocking me from moving off. Thats what started the fighting. Then he wanted to provoke me more on the pitch and i foolishly pushed him and the teacher saw that so that looked bad for me. He tnen delibarately ran up and bashed into me, isn't that an assault too? All i did was push him off me to stop him bashing into me more and as a result he fell over. It's not like i thought ''oh it will be really cool to push him to the ground'' It made me look like the one starting it all infront of the teacher because this kid is very subtle in making sure his behaviour is not detected, he pretty much set me up tbh and my mistake was taking the bait and all the teacher saw was me push him twice

You do seem to think i'm some kind of thug, i'm really not :(

In the context of football, a sport with contact, it would have been a foul rather than assault. Unless he threw a punch or headbutt for example.

People will get in your face though and try to act tough, but be the bigger man and walk away. Was it worth it?

As much as you are trying to justify your original actions, the fact is you laid your hands on him first. And right in front of the teacher. Had that not happened, he may not have tried to push you during play (where he is more protected from consequences).

I'm not saying you're a thug, rather that we both know there are a lot of thugs in parts of London. You can't afford to grow up thinking it's justifiable to hit someone who is squaring up to you, rather than walking away.

As you can see here, your escalation to violence probably led to his. Best just leaving it to the authorities and being the bigger man! No point getting beaten up/stabbed over your ego or because some guy wants a fight. Just take comfort in the fact he's clearly miserable and insecure if he's going around getting in everyone's face.

~ Clara

N.B. No decent girls like this behaviour, increasingly so as they get older.

[mrjc]

In the context of football, a sport with contact, it would have been a foul rather than assault. Unless he threw a punch or headbutt for example.

People will get in your face though and try to act tough, but be the bigger man and walk away. Was it worth it?

As much as you are trying to justify your original actions, the fact is you laid your hands on him first. And right in front of the teacher. Had that not happened, he may not have tried to push you during play (where he is more protected from consequences).

I'm not saying you're a thug, rather that we both know there are a lot of thugs in parts of London. You can't afford to grow up thinking it's justifiable to hit someone who is squaring up to you, rather than walking away.

As you can see here, your escalation to violence probably led to his. Best just leaving it to the authorities and being the bigger man! No point getting beaten up/stabbed over your ego or because some guy wants a fight. Just take comfort in the fact he's clearly miserable and insecure if he's going around getting in everyone's face.

~ Clara

N.B. No decent girls like this behaviour, increasingly so as they get older.

think your blowing this up out of context, we not talking about people getting stabbed in London we talking about boys fighting. im not saying fighting is right but we all know it happens between boys. girls can be just as bad so try not to give this boy a hard time, he paying for it and feels bad enough!!!

[Hudor]

No he mentioned it this morning to remind me about it, like i needed reminding, he certainly hasn't forgotten


Well that's both unfair and unfortunate but seems like you have to bear the punishment anyway. You seem to be dealing well enough already just don't get too upset about it and utilise your holidays as constructively as you can :)

[Riley2015]

Okay, the punishment seems a bit harsh for a shoving match on the pitch. The fact that the coach called your father seems a bit harsh unless you have a reputation for getting into scrapes. However, it is what it is and you seem to have come to the position that you will deal with the grounding in a positive way. For that you are to be congratulated. I hope you like to read and can stock up on some good books. I like books by Brad Thor and Geoffrey Archer. Read newspapers, expand your mind. Do isometrics to build your body. Write a short story. Keep active with both mind and body. I know it is going to be tough but do make the best of the bad situation. Good luck now and in the future.

Some really good advice there thanks. I don't read much at all so i guess it would do me good to read a bit more. i also plan to work out everyday in my room :lol:

think your blowing this up out of context, we not talking about people getting stabbed in London we talking about boys fighting. im not saying fighting is right but we all know it happens between boys. girls can be just as bad so try not to give this boy a hard time, he paying for it and feels bad enough!!!

thanks for sticking up for me man :)

[StoppingTom]

think your blowing this up out of context, we not talking about people getting stabbed in London we talking about boys fighting. im not saying fighting is right but we all know it happens between boys. girls can be just as bad so try not to give this boy a hard time, he paying for it and feels bad enough!!!

I think the point being made is that Riley initiated the conflict, and he's paying for it. Of course, I feel bad he's been punished to such an extent, but I think he realizes what he did was wrong, so good on him for that.

[Freckles]

Just a thought....Maybe you can talk to a grandparent and have them remind him of a time when he got in trouble and they went easy on him. Maybe if they will he'll rethink it and realize that he went a little too far. I think 6 weeks in your room is almost cruel. This is the kind of case where I'd rather just take a whipping and have it over with.

[Riley2015]

Just a thought....Maybe you can talk to a grandparent and have them remind him of a time when he got in trouble and they went easy on him. Maybe if they will he'll rethink it and realize that he went a little too far. I think 6 weeks in your room is almost cruel. This is the kind of case where I'd rather just take a whipping and have it over with.

From what i was told his dad was strict with him too and i think thats why he is so strict with me. My mum is less strict but she goes along with whatever punishments Dad chooses for me, she never tries to talk him into reconsidering

Yeah, had the belt before quite a few times. Sure it hurts but i prefer it to long groundings. Dad knows that now i think so mostly picks groundings over the belt

[Kirina]

Jesus that sounds like near child abuseThat is child abuse.

You may think contacting CPS is too much trouble, but it's what you should.

[Riley2015]

That is child abuse.

You may think contacting CPS is too much trouble, but it's what you should.

Thanks i appreciate the concern. But i don't think getting grounded is child abuse though? :what:

[Abhorrence]

Thanks i appreciate the concern. But i don't think getting grounded is child abuse though? :what:
Being stuck in a room for six weeks is kind of abusive, although it is entirely up to you what action you wish to take. If you can put up with it then I guess you just put up with it. I don't entirely know the laws of things but I assume you're old enough to make your own decisions on what action to take.

[Kirina]

Thanks i appreciate the concern. But i don't think getting grounded is child abuse though? :what:

You said you have to stay in your room for 6 weeks. If that means not being outside at all, that is abuse. Because there are health benefits for being outside and denying you these benefits for 6 weeks is not acceptable, they should be a right.

You also mentioned he having hit you with belt several times. Even if he doesn't do it currently, you can still use the past against him and it will put more weight on what he is doing now.

Like if you tell CPS "My dad tells me to stay in my room for 6 weeks and don't allow me outside at all" Versus "My dad tells me to stay in my room for 6 weeks and don't allow me outside at all. Also he used to hit me with a belt". The latter gives them more reason to act.

[Riley2015]

Being stuck in a room for six weeks is kind of abusive, although it is entirely up to you what action you wish to take. If you can put up with it then I guess you just put up with it. I don't entirely know the laws of things but I assume you're old enough to make your own decisions on what action to take.

You said you have to stay in your room for 6 weeks. If that means not being outside at all, that is abuse. Because there are health benefits for being outside and denying you these benefits for 6 weeks is not acceptable, they should be a right.

You also mentioned he having hit you with belt several times. Even if he doesn't do it currently, you can still use the past against him and it will put more weight on what he is doing now.

Like if you tell CPS "My dad tells me to stay in my room for 6 weeks and don't allow me outside at all" Versus "My dad tells me to stay in my room for 6 weeks and don't allow me outside at all. Also he used to hit me with a belt". The latter gives them more reason to act.

Hey yeah its 6 weeks pretty much in my room, only allowed out for things like bathroom visits, eating etc. If i was to ask for some chores he may allow me to do those and that would get me out of the room for a bit

You guys have given me a different way of seeing it, i never really considered that it was abusive, i just thought i'm the kid hes my dad and hes disciplining me the way he see's fit. It never even occured to me to report him. I'm not sure how i feel about doing that

Not sure what to do really. i really appreciate all the support i've had here though, it does help

[Freckles]

Turning him in will just make him madder and probably lead to worse punishments in the future.

[Reg_]

well that sucks. i is kindof your fault, if you had just ognored hime when u guy where playing he could have been the one that got in trouble

[Riley2015]

Turning him in will just make him madder and probably lead to worse punishments in the future.

Thats true, he wouldn't like me reporting him

well that sucks. i is kindof your fault, if you had just ognored hime when u guy where playing he could have been the one that got in trouble

Yeah, i guess i know that now :whoops:

[DoodleSnap]

It's sad that your father doesn't trust you enough to have a discussion and believe your account of the story.
This sort of strict parenting often doesn't make the healthiest of parental relationships, but saying that you have to stay indoors for 6 weeks straight seems borderline abusive :(
The only thing I can suggest is asking him why he didn't believe you. Maybe he thinks that you have biased or slanted the story?
If he can't speak to you with reason or rationale, then you should probably seek some professional advice.

[Riley2015]

It's sad that your father doesn't trust you enough to have a discussion and believe your account of the story.
This sort of strict parenting often doesn't make the healthiest of parental relationships, but saying that you have to stay indoors for 6 weeks straight seems borderline abusive :(
The only thing I can suggest is asking him why he didn't believe you. Maybe he thinks that you have biased or slanted the story?
If he can't speak to you with reason or rationale, then you should probably seek some professional advice.

He's always like this with me, doesn't trust me or believe what i tell him. He seems to want to think the worst of me always. I'd never claim i'm an angel, i'm a teenage boy and like all teen boys i get up to a bit of mischief and make mistakes, but i'm not always doing something wrong or looking for trouble. That boy did start the trouble its just i was silly to retaliate and i guess i deserve some punishment, but like 2/3 weeks grounded or something and then allowed to enjoy the rest of the summer, not an entire 6 weeks

As a result i guess we do end up with a strained relationship and my mum tries to keep the peace. Usually if i try to talk to him more about things or say i feel he is being unfair or too harsh he gets annoyed and says ''i made my decision i don't wish to discuss it anymore now''

I learned a long time ago not to answer back much, its less hassle and less punishments that way :lol:

[DoodleSnap]

He's always like this with me, doesn't trust me or believe what i tell him. He seems to want to think the worst of me always. I'd never claim i'm an angel, i'm a teenage boy and like all teen boys i get up to a bit of mischief and make mistakes, but i'm not always doing something wrong or looking for trouble. That boy did start the trouble its just i was silly to retaliate and i guess i deserve some punishment, but like 2/3 weeks grounded or something and then allowed to enjoy the rest of the summer, not an entire 6 weeks

As a result i guess we do end up with a strained relationship and my mum tries to keep the peace. Usually if i try to talk to him more about things or say i feel he is being unfair or too harsh he gets annoyed and says ''i made my decision i don't wish to discuss it anymore now''

I learned a long time ago not to answer back much, its less hassle and less punishments that way :lol:
I'm sorry to hear that. You're making the best of a difficult situation. Kudos to you.

[Uniquemind]

Hi i'm new here, i came here to ask for some advice/support. My names Riley, i'm 13 year old boy from london uk, i'll be 14 fairly soon.

Anyway i'm big into my football and play on the school team. A few days ago i got into a bit of a fight with another boy on the team in the school changing rooms before we went out, some of the other boys split us up before our teacher had noticed. So it all seemed fine. When we got on the pitch this boy goaded me into pushing him infront of the teacher and told him i was picking on him which i wasn't, i only pushed him because he goaded me . Teacher told me to stop picking on him . We started to play and during the game he ran at me and then delibarately pushed into me so i pushed him off me and he fell on the ground. Teacher blamed me again, gave me a few detentions. I thought big deal i can handle that

When i got in from school dad was waiting to tell me the teacher had rang him up to report me for bullying, he asked me to explain and i told him what happened, he decided i was lying and that i should get punished and so now i'm grounded for the entire 6 weeks summer holidays that are about to start next week. From now until i go back in september i'm grounded :(

Does anyone think this punishment is unfair? I think it is,grounded for the entire 6 week break, 6 weeks stuck indoors :(

My dad is quite strict incase you didn't guess already

Any advice how i can cope with this punishment? or how to get him to believe me about it? I feel really depressed about it just now. I was looking forward to 6 weeks of fun with my mates etc. Instead now i'm stuck in my room all day everyday for 6 weeks, its going to drag and it will drive me nuts!

Thanks everyone for reading :)



I'd handle it by maturely enduring the punishment even though it's unjust, and ask your dad for a one on one talk to ask him why at the end of the day he didn't trust you and your side of the story.


Be calm throughout and don't let any threats shake you from a calm, strictly analytical conversation.

Don't let threats of extended punishments or threats of privileges being taken away or spankings stop a conviction to have a fair conversation about why your word of mouth was not believed by your father.


Do not lose cool, or yell. Maintain a cool head and simply say "okay" once the conversation is over.

Hence forth as an adult lower the status of importance and status of trust you'll place in your father going forward.

He listened, he just didn't believe me. His words after i explained my side of it were ''you're going to be sitting in your room for 6 weeks looking at the wall... you're grounded for the summer'' i then said ''so you don't believe me?'' he said ''no i don't'' and that was it.



Oh I read more of the thread and realized you couldn't mention the issue again.

That's horrible parenting.

Just don't invite him to your wedding and start making a list of all the bad parenting things he's done.

And when he's an old man asking why you never visit, you'll have responses.

When he's old don't break your back trying to take care of him.

---

I will say this his parenting style builds up a deep-seated rage in a child (you in this case) which, and be aware of this OP, tends to eat at your patience for life's struggles and make you irritable because you have this anger that's just waiting to come out.

You might take out that anger in other passive-aggressive behaviors toward others. (Girlfriends, friends, strangers, teachers) so master emotional control to make sure the proper feelings are channeled to those who caused the injustice.

1. The boy

2. The teacher

3. Your father

4. You (because you let a 3rd party get a rise out of you like a puppet on a string).

I'd use this solitude to study academic topics so school will be easier for you when it arrives.

Being ahead of your peers in math, science, computer programming, and other academic pursuits is nerdy, but face it, nerds have respect now.

Also meditate a lot and learn to self-analyze yourself and teach yourself to just not care and fix your mental-emotional weaknesses that make you easily trolled.



The irony here is that if you can tolerate your father's unjust punishments with patience and calm, certainly you can learn to endure a silly peer getting in your face.

Maybe that's the lesson you're supposed to learn from all this.

I would however talk to your mom privately and ask if you could request regular visits to a psychologist for anger issues.

Of course what you really will discuss with a psychologist is your horrible parenting style of your parents.


I also suggest during your isolation you develop a nice solid belief system of what kind of father you'd want to be and what tactics you would use to raise your own kids, given that you obviously want to break pattern of your father's parenting style.

[TacoMan]

I have never been grounded, you can help them clean the house or do any other chores. They will change their mind and they will shorten the time or maybe even give you a chance.

[ClaraWho]

Thanks i appreciate the concern. But i don't think getting grounded is child abuse though? :what:

Of course grounding isn't child abuse, what a ridiculous notion.

~ Clara

[Riley2015]

Of course grounding isn't child abuse, what a ridiculous notion.

~ Clara

It wasn't me who said it

[Uniquemind]

It's only child abuse if the "grounding" includes neglectful actions.

Like not allowing the person to go to the bathroom, to eat, etc.

But the OP has clearly said he's allowed to do these things so it's not neglect.

I do want to ask Riley2015 what he thinks of the advice I gave.

[Riley2015]

It's only child abuse if the "grounding" includes neglectful actions.

Like not allowing the person to go to the bathroom, to eat, etc.

But the OP has clearly said he's allowed to do these things so it's not neglect.

I do want to ask Riley2015 what he thinks of the advice I gave.

I'm allowed bathroom visits and to eat. But in my room i just get to sit and look at the wall, i have a limited amount of internet access and very heavy parental controls are set

Sure i'll say what i think

I'd handle it by maturely enduring the punishment even though it's unjust, and ask your dad for a one on one talk to ask him why at the end of the day he didn't trust you and your side of the story.


Be calm throughout and don't let any threats shake you from a calm, strictly analytical conversation.

Don't let threats of extended punishments or threats of privileges being taken away or spankings stop a conviction to have a fair conversation about why your word of mouth was not believed by your father.


Do not lose cool, or yell. Maintain a cool head and simply say "okay" once the conversation is over.

Hence forth as an adult lower the status of importance and status of trust you'll place in your father going forward.





Oh I read more of the thread and realized you couldn't mention the issue again.

That's horrible parenting.

Just don't invite him to your wedding and start making a list of all the bad parenting things he's done.

And when he's an old man asking why you never visit, you'll have responses.

When he's old don't break your back trying to take care of him.

---

I will say this his parenting style builds up a deep-seated rage in a child (you in this case) which, and be aware of this OP, tends to eat at your patience for life's struggles and make you irritable because you have this anger that's just waiting to come out.

You might take out that anger in other passive-aggressive behaviors toward others. (Girlfriends, friends, strangers, teachers) so master emotional control to make sure the proper feelings are channeled to those who caused the injustice.

1. The boy

2. The teacher

3. Your father

4. You (because you let a 3rd party get a rise out of you like a puppet on a string).

I'd use this solitude to study academic topics so school will be easier for you when it arrives.

Being ahead of your peers in math, science, computer programming, and other academic pursuits is nerdy, but face it, nerds have respect now.

Also meditate a lot and learn to self-analyze yourself and teach yourself to just not care and fix your mental-emotional weaknesses that make you easily trolled.



The irony here is that if you can tolerate your father's unjust punishments with patience and calm, certainly you can learn to endure a silly peer getting in your face.

Maybe that's the lesson you're supposed to learn from all this.

I would however talk to your mom privately and ask if you could request regular visits to a psychologist for anger issues.

Of course what you really will discuss with a psychologist is your horrible parenting style of your parents.


I also suggest during your isolation you develop a nice solid belief system of what kind of father you'd want to be and what tactics you would use to raise your own kids, given that you obviously want to break pattern of your father's parenting style.

I am always very calm and respectful to him. I kneel on the floor infront of him hands behind my head 99% of the time when we talk. i rarely argue or yell as it makes things worse. I say ''yes dad'' ''no dad'' etc a lot. Sometimes i beg a bit and thats not good lol :whoops:

My mum gives me lots of cuddles and secret treats but never interferes with how he disciplines me and tells me to behave better

I will use the time to study and work out as much as i can although i am allowed only a limited amount of stuff in my room during groundings. I will also ask for chores

I feel i was silly to let the boy provoke me and this is why i'm being punished and i know that. i need to learn not to react to boys at school and take it like i take my dads treatment of me

When i have kids i would be a different father to him, i'd listen to my kids more and be a bit more reasonable when disciplining them

[Uniquemind]

I'm allowed bathroom visits and to eat. But in my room i just get to sit and look at the wall, i have a limited amount of internet access and very heavy parental controls are set

Sure i'll say what i think



I am always very calm and respectful to him. I kneel on the floor infront of him hands behind my head 99% of the time when we talk. i rarely argue or yell as it makes things worse. I say ''yes dad'' ''no dad'' etc a lot. Sometimes i beg a bit and thats not good lol :whoops:

My mum gives me lots of cuddles and secret treats but never interferes with how he disciplines me and tells me to behave better

I will use the time to study and work out as much as i can although i am allowed only a limited amount of stuff in my room during groundings. I will also ask for chores

I feel i was silly to let the boy provoke me and this is why i'm being punished and i know that. i need to learn not to react to boys at school and take it like i take my dads treatment of me

When i have kids i would be a different father to him, i'd listen to my kids more and be a bit more reasonable when disciplining them



If it make you feel better.

George Lucas and his father had a bad relationship too. (You know the creator of Star Wars)

Hence: Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker character dynamic came out of that emotional turmoil.

Tip of advice: don't bottle your anger or question the right you have to those feelings of anger against that kid.

Acknowledge and understand where your anger came from, but also know that you don't need your father's approval to feel justified. Although psychologically it does seem that your being conditioned to alway seek his approval on stuff.

Just be aware that could psychologically cause problems later on.

If you can have a one-on-one talk with your mom about your feelings that might help. Don't barter for lesser punishment just vent to vent and express your emotional state of mind with her in strict confidence.


The real sacrifice is that you've lost a summer vacation you'll never get back because childhood only comes once. Albeit you'll have 5 more summer, but if this happens often, I know I'd have a lot of build up rage.

Don't suppress anger it'll bottle up and come out when you've reached your limit.

[Freckles]

You have to kneel with your hands on your head when he talks to you? That sounds like he's power hungry. That would explain the long grounding. 6 weeks in your room with just bathroom breaks sounds worse than being in jail.

[ptz7649]

1) Ask your dad if there is anything to make up for what you did that was wrong ie) you could offer to do some chores or helping out or volunteering at a care home for a reduction on the time you are grounded.
2) It must be so annoying to know you are innocent though. If you feel you can try talking to him about it.
Best of luck!

[Kirina]

It's only child abuse if the "grounding" includes neglectful actions.

Like not allowing the person to go to the bathroom, to eat, etc.

But the OP has clearly said he's allowed to do these things so it's not neglect.

I do want to ask Riley2015 what he thinks of the advice I gave.

It's also neglect because not being outside for 6 weeks is unhealthy and unless he walks around in his room, he probably sit more. Which is also unhealthy. It is not acceptable to deny a 13 year old kid these health benefits.

Being stuck in your room for 6 weeks is more damaging than peeing yourself or not eating for hours.

[Riley2015]

You have to kneel with your hands on your head when he talks to you? That sounds like he's power hungry. That would explain the long grounding. 6 weeks in your room with just bathroom breaks sounds worse than being in jail.

Yeah, the kneeling thing i'm kinda used to it now. Apparently his dad made him do it as well as a sign of respect or something :rolleyes:

1) Ask your dad if there is anything to make up for what you did that was wrong ie) you could offer to do some chores or helping out or volunteering at a care home for a reduction on the time you are grounded.
2) It must be so annoying to know you are innocent though. If you feel you can try talking to him about it.
Best of luck!

I can ask for chores to help pass some time and give me something to do but it won't get me off the grounding

It's also neglect because not being outside for 6 weeks is unhealthy and unless he walks around in his room, he probably sit more. Which is also unhealthy. It is not acceptable to deny a 13 year old kid these health benefits.

Being stuck in your room for 6 weeks is more damaging than peeing yourself or not eating for hours.

I think some people like my dad must not think its abusive and they feel its right to do it. Personally i would never do it to my own kids if i ever have any but people like the clarawho poster appear to think its ok. i think clara would be happy if i came on and said i was grounded for a year! and she has me down as some kind of thug when i'm not. i think shes a feminist and hates boys and likes to see them suffer lol :yes::lol:

[ptz7649]

Yeah, the kneeling thing i'm kinda used to it now. Apparently his dad made him do it as well as a sign of respect or something :rolleyes:



I can ask for chores to help pass some time and give me something to do but it won't get me off the grounding



I think some people like my dad must not think its abusive and they feel its right to do it. Personally i would never do it to my own kids if i ever have any but people like the clarawho poster appear to think its ok. i think clara would be happy if i came on and said i was grounded for a year! and she has me down as some kind of thug when i'm not. i think shes a feminist and hates boys and likes to see them suffer lol :yes::lol:

Ok then, well I guess all I can do for you is hope and hope that your dad changes his mind! Looks like your on a really tough situation.

[Riley2015]

My mum and dad had a huge fight tonight. Mum was doing cooking with me in the kitchen cos i want to learn and dad came in from work and demanded to know why i wasn't in my room. She told him to leave us alone to cook in peace:D

After the meal he was angry and sent me to my room so they could talk alone but i sat at the top of the stairs to listen. Mum finally decided to speak up for me and told him she disagrees with the grounding and how strict he is with me, they had a massive argument it went on for ages

I feel happy my mum stood up for me like that but i hated hearing them fight like that

I hope it cools down tomorrow and they don't fight again

[Uniquemind]

My mum and dad had a huge fight tonight. Mum was doing cooking with me in the kitchen cos i want to learn and dad came in from work and demanded to know why i wasn't in my room. She told him to leave us alone to cook in peace:D

After the meal he was angry and sent me to my room so they could talk alone but i sat at the top of the stairs to listen. Mum finally decided to speak up for me and told him she disagrees with the grounding and how strict he is with me, they had a massive argument it went on for ages

I feel happy my mum stood up for me like that but i hated hearing them fight like that

I hope it cools down tomorrow and they don't fight again

Just keep your head low.

This might be a calm before a bigger storm, especially if nothing really changes.

Now this storm or the events of this punishment might be chained and build up into the next "issue" you get grounded for.


This could be the beginning of a rift between your mom and dad which could result in divorce.

Tread lightly and keep your head low.

[Riley2015]

Thanks i'll keep my head down yes

I can't see it leading to divorce though :lol:

[Ollie2000]

Did you manage to sort things out?

[Riley2015]

No, i'm still grounded :(

[Ollie2000]

still not allowed out at all?

[Ollie2000]

does that still mean confined to your room too?

[Riley2015]

does that still mean confined to your room too?

Yes for most of the time :mad::(

i do a few chores and my mum takes me to the shops with her a few times a week and thats it

[Freckles]

He doesn't seem to care about the relationship he's building with you. How can he expect respect when he's a tyrant? He needs to think long and hard about his ways.

[Riley2015]

I have to be honest, i'm really climbing the walls now. I need to get out and do something, this is driving me crazy :(:eek:

[SethfromMI]

I have to be honest, i'm really climbing the walls now. I need to get out and do something, this is driving me crazy :(:eek:

it is crazy he has kept it up. he is being very unfair to you

[Riley2015]

it is crazy he has kept it up. he is being very unfair to you

This is all mostly that he is so stubborn and doesn't want to back down on anything and admit he was wrong on something or too extreme with it

[SethfromMI]

This is all mostly that he is so stubborn and doesn't want to back down on anything and admit he was wrong on something or too extreme with it

well bummer man. I am sorry about your luck. I guess just try to tough it out till you are old enough to move. that is not right though

[Ratman1234]

Ouch...that's harsh. Just keep bugging your dad by telling him that it wasn't your fault.

[Freckles]

Do you think the other kid or the teacher will tell him it wasn't your fault so he can lighten it up for you?

[KeeganW]

Keep looking at your post, mainly cause it does suck and its harsh what your Dad is doing, but its almost 4 weeks since you posted. Things you could do trapped in your room:

Sleep in every day if you can :)
You got in trouble at a football match, practice some foot skills with the ball every day in your room, you could do a little ball handling anyway.
Pick a couple things you could learn about that are interesting to you online and then learn everything you can about them.

Just some ideas so at least when its over you got something for yourself out of it cause it doesn't sound like your Dads going to back down.

[michaelb]

so how did it end up?? i can relate btw

[Drewboyy]

If you can get the coach to tell your dad that it wasn't your fault then that's 1st hand evidence you didn't do it.

[Riley2015]

so how did it end up?? i can relate btw

Hey,I was kept in all summer like he said. He refused to let me off until the end.

I went back to school today and it was finally lifted

The other boys at school thought it was well hilarious when I told them I was grounded the whole time and especially the boy who got me in trouble.

He was full of it about his holiday and all the fun he had while i was grounded :mad:

[lliam]

So you survived it. Congratss!

[Riley2015]

So you survived it. Congratss!

hehe yeah, i was going nuts with boredom at times though. I wouldn't recommend a full summer holiday grounding to anymore. At least with being grounded during school time you only have the weekends stuck inside the full day. Being grounded every day for 6 weeks and stuck at home everyday with no school during the week is a killer :eek::yes::lol:

[lliam]

At least, now you can say: What doesn't kill me makes me stronger or so. ^^

[Bull]

Hey,I was kept in all summer like he said. He refused to let me off until the end.

I went back to school today and it was finally lifted

The other boys at school thought it was well hilarious when I told them I was grounded the whole time and especially the boy who got me in trouble.

He was full of it about his holiday and all the fun he had while i was grounded :mad:

Do not let that guy goad you into another confrontation. Rise above his taunts and good luck this school year.

[Riley2015]

Do not let that guy goad you into another confrontation. Rise above his taunts and good luck this school year.

Yeah i won't. He would love to goad me and get a reaction and get me in trouble again. I won't give him what he wants :)

[Riley2015]

My first weekend post grounding :D

[kayla...]

violence isn't the answer and you shouldn't have let him provoke you into it
Just do your best at home to show your contrition and respect and hopefully you'll get early parole

[SethfromMI]

violence isn't the answer and you shouldn't have let him provoke you into it
Just do your best at home to show your contrition and respect and hopefully you'll get early parole

he didn't. he had to spend all six weeks being grounded

to OP, still feel you got the short end of the stick, but glad you are on parole :D

[Riley2015]

violence isn't the answer and you shouldn't have let him provoke you into it
Just do your best at home to show your contrition and respect and hopefully you'll get early parole

I'm not violent! I had to defend myself against his physical attacks. If someone is attacking you are you supposed to just stand there and let them? Clarawho made this incorrect judgement on me too and i actually find it hurtful because its not true, it really isn't. I defended myself and thats all i did

he didn't. he had to spend all six weeks being grounded

to OP, still feel you got the short end of the stick, but glad you are on parole :D

thanks :)

[Judean Zealot]

I just read this... wow.

I always thought my father was a disciplinarian but compared to this he's Santa Claus.

[kayla...]

Sorry misunderstood o thought you meant teasing/taunting