My girlfriend has a gay friend

[IceColdLemon]

Hello, I'd like to ask you guys (and girls too tbh) about your opinions on the situation which happened the other day. (We're not together officially yet but we act like we do and do stuff as if we were. I am planning on asking her out on our spa night in few days).

Right so it was my girls Birthday last night; she invited her closest friends and me ofc to go out for a meal in a limo and then sleep over at hers. There were three boys (including me) and three girls. Two of her friends are gay; a lesbian and a gay guy. She's really close with both of them but I've got a slight issue with her being close with her guy friend but not directly because of his sexuality preferences. I don't mind gay people; I think of them as equal people and treat them equally.

Right so let's get to the main point of this thread. Her parents were home and said boys sleep in the spare room and girls can sleep together in the same room; I'm totally fine with that and I respect that (so does the straight guy). I go to the spare room to sleep earlier as I'm driving in the morning whilst my girl and her two gay friends move to her room to chill and talk. I wake up at 7:30 to see the (gay) guy walk into the spare room at 7:30 and so I asked him where he was. My man tells me they fell asleep at about 5am together on the bed and he slept there until 7:30. Fair enough they fell asleep (I had a long convo about this with my gf) and it was unintentional but the fact remains HE IS A BOY. Her parents stated clearly that boys and girls are sleeping in separate rooms, so first thing he does really is disrespect her parents wishes but anyway. He shared a bed with my girl... Another man shared a bed sleeping with my girl . Fair enough he's gay and not interested in females but he's still has a willy and I'm not happy to have my girl share a bed with any other man but me , regardless of his sexual orientation or situation . Does anyone else understand where I'm coming from ? I'm not going to give him any special exceptions just because he's gay. I don't wish for them to share the same bed.

I was upset with my girl that she didn't tell him to leave before she fell asleep. I told her it could've been easily prevented by telling him to leave as soon as she felt she was falling asleep. She did apologise and understands where in coming from but still firmly holds her ground that he's gay and nothing would happen and bla bla bla.

So my question to you guys is , how would you feel if your girlfriend would share a bed with a gay guy over night? Would you feel some type of way like I did ? Am I over reacting by making it a big issue and confronting my girl about it ?

Girls feel free to give your opinion too.

Thanks for reading !

[Abhorrence]

You've got jealousy issues. That's a given. Would you get mad if she had slept in the same bed with a girl? If that's a yes then I guess your anger is justifiable because you obviously want to be the only one next to her but if it's a no then man, the dude likes sucking dick. He has no interest in your girlfriends tits or vagina and so I'm pretty sure you're safe and should probably calm down about it.

However, he did break the rules about the boys in one room, girls in the other, so if I was the parent I would be kinda mad about that but that's not really your place to be mad about, I don't think.

Overall, I think you should just let it go. You're gonna get more mad thinking about it and at the end of the day I'm pretty sure a gay guy doesn't want to fuck your girlfriend.

[Meganium]

Actually, I'd probably react the same way.

I would be somewhat uncomfortable if my SO was in a bed with another guy, gay or straight, but in the end I think my trust for my SO and the benefit of the doubt I would give to the other guy would keep me from getting flustered about it.

However, under these circumstances, I think the dude was wrong. The parents clearly separated the two groups, and he overstepped that boundary. I don't care if he's absolutely revolted by the sight of a single titty, he didn't belong in that room at that time. I wouldn't make a huge deal about it, cause he didn't cause any harm, but I can clearly see why you may be upset.

[jessie3]

I see your point but i do think you are over reacting. C'mon he's gay, he is not interested in dating her or having sex with her. They are just friends that's all.

Maybe you're afraid of what *might* happen but it will never get to that point.

Also her mom probably knows he's gay too and so she sees no point of separating her and her gay friend who's interested in guys vs you who is interested in her daughter, the mom probably thinks that you might have sex with her and end up getting her pregnant if she did let y'all sleep together.

[IceColdLemon]

Maybe I am over reacting okay, however I know a gay guy who slept with/ done sexual stuff with almost every girl if his friendship circle yet he was always expressing how gay he was. I think that's why I'm a bit sensitive about this issue.

And I don't think they'd do anything I just don't like her sleeping with another guy in the same bed; just doesn't feel right uno:confused:

Thanks for your views tho

[Bull]

I think you are over the top with your reaction. They were not "in bed" together. They, a group of like 4 people were on a bed talking and went to sleep, according to your description. No big deal, man. Get over it. If it is a big deal to you maybe this is not the girl for you.

[SethfromMI]

Maybe I am over reacting okay, however I know a gay guy who slept with/ done sexual stuff with almost every girl if his friendship circle yet he was always expressing how gay he was. I think that's why I'm a bit sensitive about this issue.

And I don't think they'd do anything I just don't like her sleeping with another guy in the same bed; just doesn't feel right uno:confused:

Thanks for your views tho

if he does sexual stuff with girls is he actually gay? I can actually understand why you are mad. in this circumstance though, I think it was just a harmless case he fell asleep and I would try not to dwell to hard on this issue

[ClaraWho]

Hm. She isn't 'your' girl. Even once she has agreed to be your girlfriend, you still don't 'own' her.

I think sleeping in the same room (with several other girls present) is very different to say, her getting naked in front of him. I'm mildly jealous of my SO getting naked around guys, but only because I want to be the only one to see him naked. Fortunately he feels the same way.

What I'm getting at is you are overreacting to this situation given its context, you may want to think hard about why you don't trust her to stop him if he went to make a move.

~ Clara

[DriveAlive]

You've got jealousy issues. That's a given. Would you get mad if she had slept in the same bed with a girl? If that's a yes then I guess your anger is justifiable because you obviously want to be the only one next to her but if it's a no then man, the dude likes sucking dick. He has no interest in your girlfriends tits or vagina and so I'm pretty sure you're safe and should probably calm down about it.

However, he did break the rules about the boys in one room, girls in the other, so if I was the parent I would be kinda mad about that but that's not really your place to be mad about, I don't think.

Overall, I think you should just let it go. You're gonna get more mad thinking about it and at the end of the day I'm pretty sure a gay guy doesn't want to fuck your girlfriend.

I absolutely love this response :)

[Mil1dreded]

I can get why you'd be annoyed if you like someone a lot your gonna be jealous even if he is gay saying that though it's not a big issue the last thing you wanna do is make a big deal about it to your gf she'll be pissed off just feel slightly annoyed and forget it happened

[DoodleSnap]

You've got jealousy issues. That's a given. Would you get mad if she had slept in the same bed with a girl? If that's a yes then I guess your anger is justifiable because you obviously want to be the only one next to her but if it's a no then man, the dude likes sucking dick. He has no interest in your girlfriends tits or vagina and so I'm pretty sure you're safe and should probably calm down about it.

However, he did break the rules about the boys in one room, girls in the other, so if I was the parent I would be kinda mad about that but that's not really your place to be mad about, I don't think.

Overall, I think you should just let it go. You're gonna get more mad thinking about it and at the end of the day I'm pretty sure a gay guy doesn't want to fuck your girlfriend.
^^^Exactly.
You have some security issues, and the best person to work them out with is your girlfriend. Speak to her about it, but be reasoned, and listen to her side of the story.

[SethfromMI]

Hm. She isn't 'your' girl. Even once she has agreed to be your girlfriend, you still don't 'own' her.

I think sleeping in the same room (with several other girls present) is very different to say, her getting naked in front of him. I'm mildly jealous of my SO getting naked around guys, but only because I want to be the only one to see him naked. Fortunately he feels the same way.

What I'm getting at is you are overreacting to this situation given its context, you may want to think hard about why you don't trust her to stop him if he went to make a move.

~ Clara

this was an amazing point. sever actually.

she wasn't sleeping alone with him, he just happened to crash there. OP you need to get over it

[IceColdLemon]

Ye perhaps I am over reacting. And Ofc I'll never own her, I never meant to come across like that but I'll still hold my ground about her sharing a bed with a gay guy. Like I said I don't mind them being best friends, it's just sharing the same bed I'm not happy with .

Thanks again for your responses.

[LaurenIsMe]

I think you're reaction is pretty normal, but that doesn't mean its rational. We all sometimes a get a bit nuts about the people we love.

[StoppingTom]

My only real problem is the fact he just went against her parent's rules. It doesn't matter to me if you're straight, gay, whatever, but if guys can't stay with the girls, that should go for every guy.

[Babs]

I'll be honest with you, dude. You need to get over it. It's not a big deal. He broke the rules, yes, but it's not a big deal.