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View Full Version : Mum's affair - guy from my school


oliw97
July 10th, 2015, 02:09 AM
Hi, I'm on here because of my mum. Her and my dad have been together for 23 or 24 years, since they were pretty young. Now they've been arguing loads and my older bro said he thinks they would've broken up by now but he reckons they haven't because they wanted to let me finish sixth form first, which has now just happened.

So last week, my mum decided to drop a bombshell, just to me, that she was seeing another guy. As I said, this wasn't entirely unexpected even if it was a bit upsetting. First thing she said it was since FEBRUARY. So that took a while to sink in but then I asked who, and she says 'someone in my office'. I asked 'colleague?' and she said 'someone there on work experience.'

It took me a few seconds to clock but I realised that meant he was MY AGE. So I said that and she said that she didn't actually know at first, she thought he was a university intern there for Christmas holidays and then kept saying she didn't realise where he was from at first. Then of course I worked out that she was rambling on because he was from my school!

Over the past week I've tried to mention this to a couple of friends but as I'm about to, I just feel too ashamed. I also don't buy that she didn't know who he was, at least not more than a couple of conversations in. Admittedly I haven't talked about him loads to my mum so, his exact identity may have taken a little longer for her to realise over just being someone from my school.

I feel angry because I thought me and my mum had a good relationship and she hid this from me. It also bothers me because I realise she has been genuinely happier since about March, so her 'boyfriend' might actually better for her than my dad. Then I feel guilty for being angry at my mums happiness. I've not spoken to her properly in a week. I just don't know what to say.

I feel bad for my dad, but I'm not that close to him, compared to my mum. Also, she's going to her bf's parents tonight to tell them about her so that they can announce their relationship on his 18th next week.

I don't even get it. She's an educated woman, and objectively, in good shape and makes herself look pretty. If her and my dad are truly over, she could have a different boyfriend, she wouldnt be spoilt for choice, why why why him?

Just wanted to vent really. Don't know if any one would even know what advice to give.

Thanks,
Oli

Sports Boy
July 10th, 2015, 09:25 AM
This way too big of a burden for you be carrying not only by yourself, but at all. It was unfair for your mother to drop this on you. And she's announcing her relationship to her bf's parents without your dad being aware? You need to find an adult, preferably your dad or older brother, to help you get through this.

liptonlee
July 12th, 2015, 11:57 AM
Wow...that's a very dramatic problem you have got...
I think it's fine to refrain this from your friends, for if a word leaks out, your impression among your mates will be in ruins - not the best thing you might want on your final year...
Is there a counsellor in school you can talk to or a trusted adult? I can only imagine the horror, if not disgust you might feel to your mom's romance...
I guess its her personal lovelife that sorta overrid her focus on you...and if you were her, how would you break it out to your son that your partner is his schoolmate lol Sometimes looks can't really explain the magical spark between two in love so prettiness and decency won't prevent somebody from loving a person not from her strata.
And you are right - it's really difficult to give advice on this....sorry for rambling :(