Outing sucks

[JohnFused]

Well im not sure if anyone could answer some of these questions

My name is John and although most of my friends now are jealous of my "life" (i put life in qoutes because it's not the real me it's just a mask i put on while with my friends at school) they think it's kool to be me because im outgoing loud and don't give a shit. well i am all those thing but im also a Homosexual. and i don't think im loud or outgoing enough to tell them.
Well i know really can't tell one of them because he post on his myspace that he is a homophobe and hates fags he also got some pics of signs saying God hates fags and this one pissed me off a picture of a spray can saying Aids kills fags fast.(SO.. yea... thats a big no-no) (don't care about the god part i don't beievle in anything)
Another reason why i think i can't come out is that i think that just cuz im an african-amercian that i would be targeted by people even more.

Another friend i think i can come out to is a female friend she and i are Besties.but then again im just to scared to come out.

There's this guy who's basically the competle oppsite of me.(that basically means he know when to shut up) but he's cute and nice and not as funny as me but kinda funny.but then again he's a homophobe. i know because in Gobal class my gay teacher Mr.C told us about tolerance and made us watch a video about a boy named Lawrence and how was killed by another boy just for being gay.(of course that scared me) most of the girls in the class were crying.

So while just surfing the internet found out about the day of silence so i plan to come out on that day. Can anyone tell me how?
(BTW i just want ya to know that i have a girlfriend but i don't feel the same way she feels about the our "love")

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

Sounds like a tough situation. Are you planning on coming out to everyone, or just to select people such as your family, or your "bestie"? She and your family should accept you, though it may be a bit of a shock at first, and they may take a little time to adjust. Just say, "I'm gay," and answer questions they may have. Maybe some other gay guys on the site can share stories about how they came out, and you can pull some ideas from that. I think it'd be best though, to do it when you're relatively in private (i.e. don't do it in the middle of dinner at a restaurant, do it at home. And don't tell your friend at school, tell her at one of your houses or somewhere else where you don't have to worry about people overhearing). Just be calm, and say it.

Also, please break up with your girlfriend as soon as you can. It's not fair to either of you, when you don't have romantic feelings for her. I know you want to appear straight, for your friends, but you're leading her on and I'm sure it's not ideal for you to be in this relationship with her. If you want to stay friends with her, go ahead and do so. But it's not fair to continue on this way. If you stay friends, you can tell her the truth when you come out, after she's had some time to get over losing you as a boyfriend. But if you break up with her and come out to her all at once, she might feel overwhelmed. If you do tell her you're gay, she may wonder if she's the one who "turned" you gay, by being so unattractive or something, so assure her that's not the case.

If you plan to come out to everyone, well, do the same things I said above, only tell all of your friends, and tell them that while you don't want them passing out flyers, its ok for them to talk about it to other people. I think it might be best to come out gradually though, and only tell a few people at first, and then see how it goes.

I hope I helped a little bit. Good luck!

[chris__robin]

Don't go coming out to EVERYONE unless you really want to ... it just creates issues especially in teenagers because they are usually ignorant and not accepting of people who are different from them. its also none of their business.

i think you should break up with your "girlfriend" immediately and wait a few weeks or months (depending how long you have been together) before you come out, because you could seriously upset her or have her made fun of at school if you break up with her and come out straight away.
you arent doing anyone any favours by going out with her you are being selfish to cover your own ass to act straight and thats pretty low dude.

umm ... what else.
yeah basically if you want to come out i suggest you do it with friends you are close to and trust, and can trust to keep what you say to themselves rather than blabbing it around the school ... but its a good way to find out who your real friends are by if they stick around or not.

i came out to my best friends in a text message but they were happy with me it was the only way i could do it.

good luck

[Requin]

Yeah come out to people one at a time. I've said before on another post that apparently telling strangers that your gay improves your confindence. Not sure if it's scientifically proven but i guess that it would.

I don't mean go into the first random shop and say to the shop assistant "I'm Gay" and walk out. Do it in a subtle way, if you meet a girl at a club or in the park that you don't know tell her that your gay etc. Things like that. Also like the other guys said dump your girlfriend, not sure if it would be best to tell her that your gay. She might be so pissed that she'll tell everyone that your gay and you won't have to do a thing.

If you think about it you have sort of come out on here by telling us your gay, i know it's a website but this is what i'm on about. Join a gay forum if you like that might improve your confidence, Good luck dude , it'll be fine.