My friend kissed me

[paletanner]

my bestie Evan is going through hell because his parents are getting a divorce. he stays with me a lot because he doesn't want to be home where his parents make him feel like crap. anyways he came over after fireworks and we were playing games and just like talking, not even about anything, then out of nowhere he kissed me on the cheek!!! i was like omg wha? he had tears in his eyes and didn't say anything. i didn't know what to say. we just went back to playing games. what was that? tbh i'm totally crushing on him and it's killing me. i don't want to even hint that i'm crushing on him because he might think i'm pressuring him because i let him stay with me. why did he kiss me like that? i'm so confused right now!!!!!!!!!

[StoppingTom]

I'd say he likes you quite a bit, and it probably means a lot to him that you've been there for him during this rough time in his life.

[Vermilion]

His emotions are all over the place. Not to start with hormones. You are someone who's there for him so he's getting emotionally attached to you. Tanner he probably knows you like him if he does it again go for it but remember he might not be completely with it

[jacshamy]

I think he was saying thank you. You've been so awesome to him. He's really emotional too. If I was in his place I could see myself doing the same thing. Evan is lucky to have you as a friend.

[Just JT]

I agree, what I envision is like u guys r layin on the floor or at a table obviously, he's probably been thinkin how to express his emotions to you about how supportive uv been, be it a hug, words or what ever...
Probably just came out as a kiss on the cheek as it was the easiest thing, and probably didn't give it a thought about it....until after he did it.... none the less, I'm sure he has deep feelings for you for you being such a good friend to him in a time of need
On the other hand, he may have other feelings for you, and now, the next day, after a good nights rest, you could ask him what the kiss meant for him, if he's as good of a friend as you say u guys are, he'll be honest.....

[ImCoolBeans]

His emotions are all over the place. Not to start with hormones. You are someone who's there for him so he's getting emotionally attached to you. Tanner he probably knows you like him if he does it again go for it but remember he might not be completely with it

This is good advice. He feels comfortable with you and is becoming emotionally attached to you because you're a stable, supportive, and loving relationship in his life. It's up to you whether or not you want to pursue it -- it seems to me like he has a strong emotional bond with you -- and it probably took a lot for him to give you a kiss on the cheek. Have you considered talking to him about it? He's likely just as confused as you are about it.

[Sports Boy]

This is all good advice, and I would also add that your friend is in a really vulnerable place right now. If I were you, I'd just leave the kiss and it's meaning alone for now. Like you said, he is going through hell and you don't want to add any more confusion or conflict right now. I think you should wait until he is strong again and can make good decisions.
And it could seem like your taking advantage of him at a time of weakness.

[paletanner]

And it could seem like your taking advantage of him at a time of weakness.

that's what i'm worried about the most. he's coming over tonight again. i don't know what i should say to him.

[Vermilion]

that's what i'm worried about the most. he's coming over tonight again. i don't know what i should say to him.[/QUOTE]

Just be honest Tanner

[joel-d]

It's really awesome that you've been such a good supportive friend to him. He's lucky to have you.

If you're not sure whether there's something deeper to it, like him being attracted to you, it might be that he's not sure either. That may be one more confusing thing in addition to all of the problems with his family. Maybe he's actually attracted to you, or maybe it was just a general feeling of love and friendship to you because you've been such a good friend.

The best thing is to keep on being there for him. That way he'll know that everything is still cool after he kissed you. You can stay close, hug him when he needs a hug, but not push things any farther on your own until he does something to let you know that the kiss wasn't just a one time thing. Maybe you'll talk about it, maybe he'll kiss you again, maybe nothing more will happen. And if both of you are cool with kissing more, that can happen whenever you're both ready.

Good luck. You can keep on being an awesome friend to him, even if the kiss doesn't happen again.

[Sports Boy]

Why don't you try something like this. "Thanks for the kiss last night. It meant a lot to me." Then just drop it and let him react, or not.

[DoodleSnap]

As everyone has said above: speak to him about it. Without communication, a relationship doesn't work, so ask him how he feels.
He is probably really attached to you, as your relationship with him represents safety, love, support, and stability, and he was trying to show how much you mean to him.
Speak to him.
Good luck.

[Jaffe]

Be careful not to read too much into it. It might be his way of saying thanks, of seeing yo u as a brother. It might be a lot more.
Just be careful. DO talk about it. Maybe "Hey, when you kissed me last night... it meant a lot to me, thanks" ... or whatever, let him take it from . there.

Just be you tanner. If you talk about it, casually, comfortably, and let him know you liked it and theat it didnt make you un comfortable, itll be ok. Relax and let your personality out, and he'll talk about it too, whatever it meant to him.

[paletanner]

Why don't you try something like this. "Thanks for the kiss last night. It meant a lot to me." Then just drop it and let him react, or not.

Be careful not to read too much into it. It might be his way of saying thanks, of seeing yo u as a brother. It might be a lot more.
Just be careful. DO talk about it. Maybe "Hey, when you kissed me last night... it meant a lot to me, thanks" ... or whatever, let him take it from . there.

Just be you tanner. If you talk about it, casually, comfortably, and let him know you liked it and theat it didnt make you un comfortable, itll be ok. Relax and let your personality out, and he'll talk about it too, whatever it meant to him.

that's what i'm going to say. "it meant a lot to me." that's the right thing to say! thanks guys!!

[CosmicNoodle]

This sounds like the start to a teen romance novel.

Chances are he likes you, with all the emotions flying round his head maybe he just couldn't help it

[Straya]

my bestie Evan is going through hell because his parents are getting a divorce. he stays with me a lot because he doesn't want to be home where his parents make him feel like crap. anyways he came over after fireworks and we were playing games and just like talking, not even about anything, then out of nowhere he kissed me on the cheek!!! i was like omg wha? he had tears in his eyes and didn't say anything. i didn't know what to say. we just went back to playing games. what was that? tbh i'm totally crushing on him and it's killing me. i don't want to even hint that i'm crushing on him because he might think i'm pressuring him because i let him stay with me. why did he kiss me like that? i'm so confused right now!!!!!!!!!

he might have feelings for you too and im pretty sure he knows your not gonna be pressuring him if you come out and tell him you have feelings for him

[ImTrickster]

your probably just a post which he can lean on and he feels comfortable around you, it is a sign that your a good friend.

[paletanner]

I told him thanks for the kiss it meant a lot to me. he's like "um yeah okay you're welcome." didn't want to talk about it or tell me why he did it.

[DoodleSnap]

I told him thanks for the kiss it meant a lot to me. he's like "um yeah okay you're welcome." didn't want to talk about it or tell me why he did it.
By the sounds of it he is probably a little bit confused about it right now!
I think you'll probably have to wait for him to go through his own feelings for a little while, as sorting out your own head is difficult when you have that many emotions. Just be there for him, support him emotionally, and tell him that you're ready to speak to him about his feelings when he is. Be a supportive hand and see where it all goes!
I hope it all goes well :wub:

[paletanner]

i hope i didn't mess this up.

[Sports Boy]

He has so much going through his head right now, confusion, conflict, sadness, fear. You are being a good friend but I would suggest at this time make everything about him and nothing about you. Just continue to be there for him and your time will come.

[Just JT]

You didn't, you took good advice, and acted on it, now you both acknowledge what happened, and you both acknowledge your both ok with it
Think you'll find that even if nothing is said, ever, it will probably still bring both of you closer, cause he knows he can trust you...

[Jaffe]

i hope i didn't mess this up.

Me too.
Some people like to just let things ride out and see what happens. Some of us cant do that because it makes us anxious, so we have to take action. I dont know which of those you are.
But if youre the action type, you might just apologize "sorry if I made you uncomfortable, it just felt really good knowing I actually might be helping you in some way".
If you're the wait-it-out type, then do that.

Does Evan know that you aren't totally straight? Does he know your brother is out? (Thinking... if Evan is not straight, does he feel comfortable saying so, does he know you guys are open to it?)

Think about this:
All of us on VT respond based on our own experience and our own personalities.
None of us know your friend or how close you two are.
None of us are in your place, trying to help him.
None of us understand how important the friendship is to you, or if you prefer to follow through on a crush, that might ruin the friendship.

Somewhere up this thread there is a post by your brother. He didnt respond the same as any of us........
This is kinda how I see it: I'd add up all of the advice from us on VT, and that scores 50%. Then, ask your brother, and what he says is the other 50%. He knows as much or maybe more as all the rest of us put toghether. Just saying, its good to have opinions of a view from the outside, but its no more valuable than the view from the inside, esp from somebody who loves you as much as Jacob does. (I mean, gees, its obvious from how he talks to you on VT)

Wish I could be more helpful. But really, decide first whether you want to have him as a crush or as a friend, cause you might get both, but you might not.

[KeeganW]

Me too.
Some people like to just let things ride out and see what happens. Some of us cant do that because it makes us anxious, so we have to take action. I dont know which of those you are.
But if youre the action type, you might just apologize "sorry if I made you uncomfortable, it just felt really good knowing I actually might be helping you in some way".
If you're the wait-it-out type, then do that.

Does Evan know that you aren't totally straight? Does he know your brother is out? (Thinking... if Evan is not straight, does he feel comfortable saying so, does he know you guys are open to it?)

Think about this:
All of us on VT respond based on our own experience and our own personalities.
None of us know your friend or how close you two are.
None of us are in your place, trying to help him.
None of us understand how important the friendship is to you, or if you prefer to follow through on a crush, that might ruin the friendship.

Somewhere up this thread there is a post by your brother. He didnt respond the same as any of us........
This is kinda how I see it: I'd add up all of the advice from us on VT, and that scores 50%. Then, ask your brother, and what he says is the other 50%. He knows as much or maybe more as all the rest of us put toghether. Just saying, its good to have opinions of a view from the outside, but its no more valuable than the view from the inside, esp from somebody who loves you as much as Jacob does. (I mean, gees, its obvious from how he talks to you on VT)

Wish I could be more helpful. But really, decide first whether you want to have him as a crush or as a friend, cause you might get both, but you might not.

Best post advice ever saw Tanner

[paletanner]

Me too.
Some people like to just let things ride out and see what happens. Some of us cant do that because it makes us anxious, so we have to take action. I dont know which of those you are.
But if youre the action type, you might just apologize "sorry if I made you uncomfortable, it just felt really good knowing I actually might be helping you in some way".
If you're the wait-it-out type, then do that.

Does Evan know that you aren't totally straight? Does he know your brother is out? (Thinking... if Evan is not straight, does he feel comfortable saying so, does he know you guys are open to it?)

Think about this:
All of us on VT respond based on our own experience and our own personalities.
None of us know your friend or how close you two are.
None of us are in your place, trying to help him.
None of us understand how important the friendship is to you, or if you prefer to follow through on a crush, that might ruin the friendship.

Somewhere up this thread there is a post by your brother. He didnt respond the same as any of us........
This is kinda how I see it: I'd add up all of the advice from us on VT, and that scores 50%. Then, ask your brother, and what he says is the other 50%. He knows as much or maybe more as all the rest of us put toghether. Just saying, its good to have opinions of a view from the outside, but its no more valuable than the view from the inside, esp from somebody who loves you as much as Jacob does. (I mean, gees, its obvious from how he talks to you on VT)

Wish I could be more helpful. But really, decide first whether you want to have him as a crush or as a friend, cause you might get both, but you might not.

Best post advice ever saw Tanner

thanks guys. especially Keegan. KnK are my bruthas from anutha mutha. :)

Evan texted me awhile ago. he seems to be ok now. i won't push anything. if he wants to talk about it he will. he tells me just about everything else. i need to give him time. le sigh.

[Sports Boy]

Me too.
Some people like to just let things ride out and see what happens. Some of us cant do that because it makes us anxious, so we have to take action. I dont know which of those you are.
But if youre the action type, you might just apologize "sorry if I made you uncomfortable, it just felt really good knowing I actually might be helping you in some way".
If you're the wait-it-out type, then do that.

Does Evan know that you aren't totally straight? Does he know your brother is out? (Thinking... if Evan is not straight, does he feel comfortable saying so, does he know you guys are open to it?)

Think about this:
All of us on VT respond based on our own experience and our own personalities.








None of us know your friend or how close you two are.
None of us are in your place, trying to help him.
None of us understand how important the friendship is to you, or if you prefer to follow through on a crush, that might ruin the friendship.

Somewhere up this thread there is a post by your brother. He didnt respond the same as any of us........
This is kinda how I see it: I'd add up all of the advice from us on VT, and that scores 50%. Then, ask your brother, and what he says is the other 50%. He knows as much or maybe more as all the rest of us put toghether. Just saying, its good to have opinions of a view from the outside, but its no more valuable than the view from the inside, esp from somebody who loves you as much as Jacob does. (I mean, gees, its obvious from how he talks to you on VT)

Wish I could be more helpful. But really, decide first whether you want to have him as a crush or as a friend, cause you might get both, but you might not.

I agree with Keegan. So much thought put into this response.

[paletanner]

I agree with Keegan. So much thought put into this response.

i know. thanks Jaffed!!!!! :yes:

[ashdaniel]

Wow, there is allot of thing going on. Tanner, by my experience, the kiss maybe just a kiss. Some time guys do stuff without thinking it especially your friend have went through allot. Just play chill, dont over think the situation, go with the flow. If your friend are into you, he will eventually letting you know. I know how you feel because I also had crush toward my friends before specially in your situation with the kiss. To me, a kiss on the cheek is really nothing, a kiss on the lips are different. Some friends I know kiss people on the cheek to show friendship that just some of my friend. To a conclusion, relax, breath, what will happen will eventually happen, don't stress yourself. Stay positive, ;）

[SethfromMI]

His emotions are all over the place. Not to start with hormones. You are someone who's there for him so he's getting emotionally attached to you. Tanner he probably knows you like him if he does it again go for it but remember he might not be completely with it

some good advice Tom. it is up to you whether you want to talk about it or not Tanner. if you do, just try not to make him feel weird. or you can wait to see if he brings it up

[Jaffe]

i know. thanks Jaffed!!!!! :yes:

You're welcome, but no need really, I was just trying to make up for a mistake. I feel really bad we might have misdirected you. I hope not, I really do.

To me, having a friend is 1000 times better/more important than having a relationship. I used to crush on my best friend, but I knew it would never go anywhere (hes straight and religious) and I still feel it sometimes, but I am really glad I never acted on it and chased him away. He's the first best friend - even the first real friend - I've ever had, and Id be lost without him. I hope your friend and you stay just as close as you have been.

[paletanner]

Wow, there is allot of thing going on. Tanner, by my experience, the kiss maybe just a kiss. Some time guys do stuff without thinking it especially your friend have went through allot. Just play chill, dont over think the situation, go with the flow. If your friend are into you, he will eventually letting you know. I know how you feel because I also had crush toward my friends before specially in your situation with the kiss. To me, a kiss on the cheek is really nothing, a kiss on the lips are different. Some friends I know kiss people on the cheek to show friendship that just some of my friend. To a conclusion, relax, breath, what will happen will eventually happen, don't stress yourself. Stay positive, ;）

some good advice Tom. it is up to you whether you want to talk about it or not Tanner. if you do, just try not to make him feel weird. or you can wait to see if he brings it up

You're welcome, but no need really, I was just trying to make up for a mistake. I feel really bad we might have misdirected you. I hope not, I really do.

To me, having a friend is 1000 times better/more important than having a relationship. I used to crush on my best friend, but I knew it would never go anywhere (hes straight and religious) and I still feel it sometimes, but I am really glad I never acted on it and chased him away. He's the first best friend - even the first real friend - I've ever had, and Id be lost without him. I hope your friend and you stay just as close as you have been.

luv y'all! i'm not going to push it. he'll tell me when he's ready. :)

[DoodleSnap]

Me too.
Some people like to just let things ride out and see what happens. Some of us cant do that because it makes us anxious, so we have to take action. I dont know which of those you are.
But if youre the action type, you might just apologize "sorry if I made you uncomfortable, it just felt really good knowing I actually might be helping you in some way".
If you're the wait-it-out type, then do that.

Does Evan know that you aren't totally straight? Does he know your brother is out? (Thinking... if Evan is not straight, does he feel comfortable saying so, does he know you guys are open to it?)

Think about this:
All of us on VT respond based on our own experience and our own personalities.
None of us know your friend or how close you two are.
None of us are in your place, trying to help him.
None of us understand how important the friendship is to you, or if you prefer to follow through on a crush, that might ruin the friendship.

Somewhere up this thread there is a post by your brother. He didnt respond the same as any of us........
This is kinda how I see it: I'd add up all of the advice from us on VT, and that scores 50%. Then, ask your brother, and what he says is the other 50%. He knows as much or maybe more as all the rest of us put toghether. Just saying, its good to have opinions of a view from the outside, but its no more valuable than the view from the inside, esp from somebody who loves you as much as Jacob does. (I mean, gees, its obvious from how he talks to you on VT)

Wish I could be more helpful. But really, decide first whether you want to have him as a crush or as a friend, cause you might get both, but you might not.
I never thought I'd see a post on here that says everything I would say, but by someone else :P
^^^This paletanner
As hard as it is, learn to take your time, and give him space. You'll do alright.

[paletanner]

I never thought I'd see a post on here that says everything I would say, but by someone else :P
^^^This paletanner
As hard as it is, learn to take your time, and give him space. You'll do alright.

i am. it sucks tho. he's so cute. haha but last thing i ever want is for me to make him hurt himself or worse.

[DoodleSnap]

i am. it sucks tho. he's so cute. haha but last thing i ever want is for me to make him hurt himself or worse.
Yeah, being there for him is the best you can do. You're doing great.
PS: I get how you feel about wanting to help out cute boys, something I spend too much time thinking aout :rolleyes:

[paletanner]

Yeah, being there for him is the best you can do. You're doing great.
PS: I get how you feel about wanting to help out cute boys, something I spend too much time thinking aout :rolleyes:

i'm not helping him because he's cute. i'm helping him because he's my bestie and i love him.

but i know what you mean. :P:yes:

[Zachary G]

i'd say he likes you quite a bit, and it probably means a lot to him that you've been there for him during this rough time in his life.

exactly!!!!

[paletanner]

for now he and his sister are staying at their grandparents. too far away for him to hang out with me all the time. but we text. he feels better being out of this own house. i guess that's better than nothing.

[Jaffe]

It might be better that he is out of the house and staying where he feels safe. But he is away from you, and you were his support. I'm sorry you don't get to see him often, for both you and him. I hope he moves back.

[paletanner]

It might be better that he is out of the house and staying where he feels safe. But he is away from you, and you were his support. I'm sorry you don't get to see him often, for both you and him. I hope he moves back.

me too. i miss him. we text but it isn't the same.

[paletanner]

Evan said next time we talk face to face he'll tell me why he kissed me.

[DoodleSnap]

Evan said next time we talk face to face he'll tell me why he kissed me.
That's great! I hope it all turns out well.

[angelchild]

Ok Tanner so honestly I think you've done everything right so far. First I want to say that your an awesome friend for being there for Evan with all the issues at home he's been having to deal with and I'm pretty sure you deserve an award for that. Now the kiss. I think it took Evan a lot of courage to kiss you, and in his mind he was probably having a war with himself trying to decide whether or not to do it. And by you telling him that the kiss meant a lot to you, it probably helped Evan to realize that he made the right decision in the end. And now that he's told you that he is ready to tell you why he kissed you is great news. You just have to make sure that no matter what he tells you, you have to still support him. Don't show any signs of disappointment if its not the answer your looking for. He obviously trusts you more than anyone else and it would be hard on him if he were to find out you were disappointed for any reason in his answer.

But the most important thing is the next time you see him, make sure your patient with him. Don't try and force the answer out of him. Let him take as much time as he needs. It could be 10 seconds or 10 hours, it doesn't matter. When he's ready, he'll tell you. But I think your going to be pretty happy with the answer.

I wish you the best of luck with all of this Tanner and I hope to be hearing good news from you soon.

PS Anybody please feel free to correct anything I've said if its been wrong advice or whatever. This is my first attempt at giving somebody here advice and I'm not exactly the greatest at getting my thoughts written down in a way that makes sense to everybody else

[paletanner]

Ok Tanner so honestly I think you've done everything right so far. First I want to say that your an awesome friend for being there for Evan with all the issues at home he's been having to deal with and I'm pretty sure you deserve an award for that. Now the kiss. I think it took Evan a lot of courage to kiss you, and in his mind he was probably having a war with himself trying to decide whether or not to do it. And by you telling him that the kiss meant a lot to you, it probably helped Evan to realize that he made the right decision in the end. And now that he's told you that he is ready to tell you why he kissed you is great news. You just have to make sure that no matter what he tells you, you have to still support him. Don't show any signs of disappointment if its not the answer your looking for. He obviously trusts you more than anyone else and it would be hard on him if he were to find out you were disappointed for any reason in his answer.

But the most important thing is the next time you see him, make sure your patient with him. Don't try and force the answer out of him. Let him take as much time as he needs. It could be 10 seconds or 10 hours, it doesn't matter. When he's ready, he'll tell you. But I think your going to be pretty happy with the answer.

I wish you the best of luck with all of this Tanner and I hope to be hearing good news from you soon.

PS Anybody please feel free to correct anything I've said if its been wrong advice or whatever. This is my first attempt at giving somebody here advice and I'm not exactly the greatest at getting my thoughts written down in a way that makes sense to everybody else

he's my bestie buddy broseph. i'm ok with whatever he tells me. :)

[brightlight]

Maybe if something ever goes down with you he might be a good friend to keep you positive and you might end up doing the same thing so just keep your cool with him and don't worry about it

[northy]

Good luck! 😊

[KingExplosionMurder]

my bestie Evan is going through hell because his parents are getting a divorce. he stays with me a lot because he doesn't want to be home where his parents make him feel like crap. anyways he came over after fireworks and we were playing games and just like talking, not even about anything, then out of nowhere he kissed me on the cheek!!! i was like omg wha? he had tears in his eyes and didn't say anything. i didn't know what to say. we just went back to playing games. what was that? tbh i'm totally crushing on him and it's killing me. i don't want to even hint that i'm crushing on him because he might think i'm pressuring him because i let him stay with me. why did he kiss me like that? i'm so confused right now!!!!!!!!!

Hmm here's what I suggest. Tell him you like like him but don't be clingy and want him to stay a lot because of that. Maybe he won't mind but don't be clingy like I said :P and if he's said try comforting him like your doing now

[angelchild]

Hey paletanner do you have any updates for us? Hope things have worked out with you and Evan :)

[paletanner]

Evan is doing fine at his grandparents. but Tanner is doing GREAT because he just got a BOYFRIEND!!!

[angelchild]

Evan is doing fine at his grandparents. but Tanner is doing GREAT because he just got a BOYFRIEND!!!

That is great news Tanner! I'm really glad things have worked out for both you and Evan

[Just JT]

Hey tanner, I've been out of the mix with some personal stuff the past few weeks, but just caught up on this thread, and I'm glad it seems like it all works doit for ya!!!

Lots of great advice!!!
Glad your happy

[DoodleSnap]

That's awesome news, I'm so glad it all worked out for you!

Congrats! :party: