The reason I began coming here in the first place

[StoppingTom]

So, I thought I'd save this story until I got to know people here better, but what the hell. This may be a bit of a long read so I apologize in advance.

I had been a member of another forum for about 3 years. I made a lot of great friends there, and I keep in touch with them a bit over Skype still, but that's besides the point. About two years ago, a new member had joined, and I had treated them with the kind of kindness you'd expect from a person. Some time later, we had gotten close, and I learned this person was a 20 (at the time) year old woman. I can't really say how it started, but we became a couple, in a way. We shared what was on our minds, played games and stuff, the usual things people do in relationships I guess. She even supplied a timestamped photo in order to assuage any doubts I had. For about a year and a half, she had me believe she -loved- me and being that we were in the same state, we'd figure something out once I was done with high school.

Fast forward to early June, she blocks me out of nowhere. Another friend does some digging, and finds her real Facebook page, in which I learn she lied about her name, and her situation in life. She had me believe she was still living with a controlling mother that made her life unbearable, when in fact she was living with another guy with her son, and another kid on the way.

Needless to say, I was absolutely crushed. I've never been a person who trusted easily, or enjoyed the company of other people, and now the person whom I thought loved me, and I loved, turned out to be someone I didn't know at all. For the last month, I've been experiencing major depression, and this reversion back to me strongly distrusting people has led to almost violent mood swings and dissociations. I've been seeing a therapist, and I will begin seeing a psychiatrist as well after I revealed my deep desire to kill myself, as well as my unconscious dreams of hurting other people. It's a scary, extremely confusing thing to deal with. I don't see my few friends, I have no desire to pursue any relationship, and I'm only somewhat comfortable dealing with people online, which is why I came here, because it seems like such a supportive place.

[James Dean]

Welcome to VirtualTeen Tom first of all. :)

I really appreciate you sharing your story with us. I'm deeply sorry that you had to go through something as mortifying as that. I do agree, trusting people isn't easy. Befriending someone who you shared many things in common with. Someone who you thought of as a really good close friend. You get yourself involved with someone who you think is your savior, and the one to wrap yourself around to when you feel alone.

Then the situation turns bad, and this causes lots of issues. All your trust for this person is gone because they were dishonest and you feel played with. I totally understand your depression and hostility over this. I really hope the best for you, and I don't want you to blame yourself. I do want you to move forward and be optimistic of the future, and be true to yourself.

Whenever you need to talk, we are always here. Take care. :)

[xXoblivionXx]

it must be really hard to have gone through that. which is why I feel like we always need to have a guard on while online, because not everyone is who they say they are. But luckily not everyone is a catfish :) I hope you like it here at VT

[StoppingTom]

it must be really hard to have gone through that. which is why I feel like we always need to have a guard on while online, because not everyone is who they say they are. But luckily not everyone is a catfish :) I hope you like it here at VT

You're right, and for the most part, I'm a pretty well-guarded person, I think. I guess it was that she opened up to me first about her "life" which made me feel comfortable trusting her. It's crazy how intricate she made that false life, it sounded so believable and the alibi was airtight.

[Just JT]

had something like that myself, thought I made a good friendship with a guy, shared some personal stuff, thought I could really trust him. It wasn't like a sexual thing and he didn't lie about who he was, but after a while he would start askin real twisted personal questions about my past. All I could think is that my baggage was like bringin him entertainment
It really sucked.... but I learned from it, just can't trust everyone with everything ya no?
Good luck here on vt....
Hope you have a better experience

[Atempinfer]

Well.

[Sports Boy]

So sorry you had to go through that and deal with it's aftermath. Stay strong and take advantage of the good people you will find on VT.

[StoppingTom]

One thing I don't understand is just, why? I don't get what there was to gain from lying. Had she just went "Oh I have a kid and a boyfriend" I wouldn't have pursued her romantically, but instead she just went with it for seemingly no reason.

[Microcosm]

aEON,

This is a very interesting story with a very valuable lesson, a few lessons actually. Firstly, though, I'd like to say that you are very brave for being able to share something so personal with people you don't know. It's a dangerous thing to do and it shows that you are desperate for help. I think this is the perfect place to be desperate for help so it's good in that sense.

I could tell you that you can never truly trust anyone on the internet, but you already know that. I'd like to take it further. You asked "Why?" in the post above and that's important. I think people are led to do very scary and atrocious things when they are anonymous and have no real chance of anyone actually knowing much about who they really are. They do it for a few reasons, but they're unimportant, really. What you really need to gain from all this is that people are animals, beasts sometimes. They feed on prey not for physical sustenance, but rather for mere joy, pleasure. It's the unfortunate sinful nature of any rational animal it would seem.

Therefore, there are some environments in which you can never 100% trust anyone. The internet is one of them, but as I said you probably already know that.

It sucks what she did to you and the fault is not yours, but her's. The loss falls on you, though, which is the terrible part about it. You experience the emotional loss, while she experiences nothing but perhaps guilt.

I'm sorry this happened to you, Tom. It really does suck. I hope you get through it okay and try not to let the depression take control. Remember: you are worth more as a person than how that woman treated you.

[StoppingTom]

aEON,

This is a very interesting story with a very valuable lesson, a few lessons actually. Firstly, though, I'd like to say that you are very brave for being able to share something so personal with people you don't know. It's a dangerous thing to do and it shows that you are desperate for help. I think this is the perfect place to be desperate for help so it's good in that sense.

I could tell you that you can never truly trust anyone on the internet, but you already know that. I'd like to take it further. You asked "Why?" in the post above and that's important. I think people are led to do very scary and atrocious things when they are anonymous and have no real chance of anyone actually knowing much about who they really are. They do it for a few reasons, but they're unimportant, really. What you really need to gain from all this is that people are animals, beasts sometimes. They feed on prey not for physical sustenance, but rather for mere joy, pleasure. It's the unfortunate sinful nature of any rational animal it would seem.

Therefore, there are some environments in which you can never 100% trust anyone. The internet is one of them, but as I said you probably already know that.

It sucks what she did to you and the fault is not yours, but her's. The loss falls on you, though, which is the terrible part about it. You experience the emotional loss, while she experiences nothing but perhaps guilt.

I'm sorry this happened to you, Tom. It really does suck. I hope you get through it okay and try not to let the depression take control. Remember: you are worth more as a person than how that woman treated you.

Thank you. I don't think she feels very guilty about it, seeing as she blocked me from everything and has made no attempt to talk to me. I find, sometimes, that I still miss the person she pretended to be, and I know I can't do anything to get that back.

[fidder]

Im going through the exact same thing right now, i met someone over a game and we became friends and what not and after a year of being a ldr couple, i find a facebook page of her with pictures of her with her boyfriend and since then i havent been able to sleep. My first relationship ended with me being cheated on and now this, i was depressed before all this and now im borderline dead

[StoppingTom]

Im going through the exact same thing right now, i met someone over a game and we became friends and what not and after a year of being a ldr couple, i find a facebook page of her with pictures of her with her boyfriend and since then i havent been able to sleep. My first relationship ended with me being cheated on and now this, i was depressed before all this and now im borderline dead

Sorry to hear that, man. I don't really have any words that can help, because it still hurts as bad as it did months ago. I'm on 100mg of Zoloft a day to treat my depression. The other day, according to a friend, she posted this rant on Twitter:

Wish a certain someone would unblock me right about now so we could talk things out. And I know that I caused it, but like, damn, it's not my fault I'm crazy hormonal and emotional, and just crazy in general. There's obviously no undoing what's been done, that doesn't mean it can't be remedied. We've both had time, I think it can be done. I don't even expect things to be how they were before I had my episode. I don't expect sunshine and rainbows, or world peace. I don't expect to ever hear you say you love me, or to be the one I run to when I need someone. The point is, I just want my friend back. So I'll keep waiting

[Andyyy95]

How do you feel about what she supposedly 'wrote' aEON? :-\

[StoppingTom]

How do you feel about what she supposedly 'wrote' aEON? :-\

Pretty upset, because for one thing, I've only blocked her on Twitter. She has blocked me everywhere else, so it's not like she couldn't talk to me. Second, it implies she still wants what we had before which is absolutely fucked up, but at the same time, I miss the girl I loved.

I've unblocked her on Twitter, and set my DM's to Open, but I'm not going to be messaging her or initiating any contact. If she wants to talk, she can start it.

[Andyyy95]

Pretty upset, because for one thing, I've only blocked her on Twitter. She has blocked me everywhere else, so it's not like she couldn't talk to me. Second, it implies she still wants what we had before which is absolutely fucked up, but at the same time, I miss the girl I loved.

I've unblocked her on Twitter, and set my DM's to Open, but I'm not going to be messaging her or initiating any contact. If she wants to talk, she can start it.

I can totally imagine how you must be feeling... What shocks me most is that why is she 'running back' to you for? Like what is she after? I'd be very careful man if she does decide to initiate chat with you.

[StoppingTom]

I can totally imagine how you must be feeling... What shocks me most is that why is she 'running back' to you for? Like what is she after? I'd be very careful man if she does decide to initiate chat with you.

I don't know what she wants, but this is torture. She was the reason I got up everyday, and I did everything I could for her. Now she's making every day a nightmare.

[Andyyy95]

I don't know what she wants, but this is torture. She was the reason I got up everyday, and I did everything I could for her. Now she's making every day a nightmare.

I know it's hard, but the more you keep thinking about it/her, the worse it's probably going to get... I wouldn't bother anymore with such waste of space/time.

[StoppingTom]

I know it's hard, but the more you keep thinking about it/her, the worse it's probably going to get... I wouldn't bother anymore with such waste of space/time.

The hope, for me at least, is hopefully I can finally put this to rest, and get the whole truth.

[StoppingTom]

Update: She contacted me, I basically unleashed a John Cena beatdown on her and told her boyfriend.

[fidder]

Update: She contacted me, I basically unleashed a John Cena beatdown on her and told her boyfriend.
What did she tell you?

[StoppingTom]

What did she tell you?

She didn't realize that I knew about her, and she tried to tell me that she wanted me back and everything about her was true so I could trust her. The entire conversation was pretty lengthy, but according to my friends who I showed it to, they said I was pretty brutal.

[Andyyy95]

Update: She contacted me, I basically unleashed a John Cena beatdown on her and told her boyfriend.

I'm confused, is the 'another guy' (you mentioned in post #1) not her boyfriend?

[StoppingTom]

The hope, for me at least, is hopefully I can finally put this to rest, and get the whole truth.

I'm confused, is the 'another guy' (you mentioned in post #1) not her boyfriend?

The other guy she is/was (don't know the fallout yet) is/was her boyfriend. Sorry for the confusion.

[TheChickInYourCloset]

That really - for the lack of better word - sucks. I wonder if she knows the paramount of pain she put you through. It's terrifying how apathetic and selfish some people can be, a really screwed up world.
I'm glad to see that you're able to open up about it; I'm new here, but the whole community seem trust worthy and understanding. The right kind of people to surround yourself with when you're feeling down (or worse.)