parental annoyance

[Jane Eyre]

hey,
I am 15 and even though, I am in high school I am not allowed to hang out with my friends ( typical Indian parents). In my entire 10 years of schooling, I have just gone to one birthday party and 3 movies with my friends. that's it. my parents don't allow me to visit my friennds nor do they allow me to invite anyone over. I am not allowed to have some extracurricular activities as well. the only thing allowed is studies or to be more precise, to lead a solitary existence... I don't understand why they do it to me. It is so frustrating and annoying. my parents do not even listen to my reasonings... I feel so depressed.

[TheMatrix]

They want the best for you, to let you live the life that they feel they never had.

My guess is that they had to wok really hard to get to where they are right now -- whether that is better or worse than what they had wanted -- and they want you to have an easier time so that you don't have to suffer what they did.
To them, keeping you in line is the best gift they can give you. From what you describe in your post, your parents aren't evil or mean at all, on the contrary, they love you a lot.

Of course, I understand what you're going through. My parents did that to me too (but to a much lesser degree), saying things like "the kids that were playing when they should be studying are living under a bridge now".

The best thing that you can do is try to talk to them. I hope for your sake that they'll at least listen. They might not, though (I have plenty of Asian & Indian friends who tried it too), and you'll have to find a way to cram all social activities into the school day. I'm not sure how school works in India, so I hope it's possible.

In any case, try to move out and further from home for college if you can. Good luck! We're always here to talk if you need to :)

[ClaraWho]

Hey hunny,

Tough break! Ugh. I suppose having kids, especially girls, is probably one of the most worrisome undertakings one can have! They want what's best for you, in their own misguided, antiquated ways I guess.

Often people place work before love/friendship/living and if they witness/experience poverty that is relatively understandable, even if logically flawed.

In terms of what you can do, It doesn't seem like they will listen to most of your reasoning. Have you considered inviting your more sensible, polite friends over for 'study sessions'? They may be more willing to let you hang out/study if they meet these sensible influences in your life.

Alternatively, you could use social media to talk/stay in the game with your friends when outside of school. Extracurricular activities are so important though! What is it they want you to do? Do they want/do you want to stay in India? What career do they want for you? More importantly, what do you want to do?

Tell me as much as possible haha, we'll crack this!

~ Clara

[Jane Eyre]

#clara: well, my parents do love me a lot and they have had to struggle in their childhood for their career. so they want me to live a life better than what was theirs...

[Broken Toy]

Could you try and explain to them how you feel stressed etc without having a social life in which to relax and have some release. It actually is unhealthy not to have social wellbeing as it can lead to issues such as depression. Would it help To tell them that?

[Just JT]

Is this like a cultural ethnic thing?
Maybe that's why?
Or did I misunderstand something?

[Jane Eyre]

no its not related to culture or anything... its just that my parents think hanging out with friends will spoil me and I will ruin my studies... disgusting....

[ashdaniel]

hey,
I am 15 and even though, I am in high school I am not allowed to hang out with my friends ( typical Indian parents). In my entire 10 years of schooling, I have just gone to one birthday party and 3 movies with my friends. that's it. my parents don't allow me to visit my friennds nor do they allow me to invite anyone over. I am not allowed to have some extracurricular activities as well. the only thing allowed is studies or to be more precise, to lead a solitary existence... I don't understand why they do it to me. It is so frustrating and annoying. my parents do not even listen to my reasonings... I feel so depressed.

Saying that your parents want to protect you are cliche but it is true. First, you have to see from your parent's perspective. Here you are sweet 15 yrs old girl, young and naive. When your parents open the tv and hear the news about what happen in the society and things teenager do. I believe they does not want it happen to you. I have similar experience. I was live in a violent country where drugs and crim are over the street and a chance of me to be kidnap. My parents keep me indoor for most of the years until I move to Canada. I understand how you feel but it is mostly about communication. Start talking to your mom slowly, negotiate with your parents slowly. As you get older, they cann't keep you in forever.