Pressure of sexuality

[indoxyl]

As the title says.

Why do people feel the need to tell people they're some sexuality other than straight?

You don't go up to your parents or friends and say "hey guys, I'm straight"

So why bother telling them if you're gay, bi, pan, whatever.

When I found out I was pansexual and had my first girlfriend I didn't tell my parents about it. I just came home with her one day.

Just be who you want to be and don't worry about having to tell people about it.

I'd like other peoples opinions of this.

[Sports Boy]

I hope someday that will be the way everyone operates but I don't think we're there yet. I know in my personal circumstance, there is no way I'm walking into my parents house and introducing them to a boyfriend. I have never discussed my bi-sexuality with them or anyone else. There are still too many biases and prejudices in the world and the fear of being ostracized is still too great.

[James Dean]

I totally agree with you, no, you don't have to come out, your sexuality is your business. If you want to be open, wonderful. If you want to be closeted, that's fine. As long as you are comfortable with yourself, it's alright.

However, I will tell you the reason why many people decide to.

We live in a heteronormal society, and those who are LGBT, feel they have the right to be open with their sexuality. They just want others to know, they are not part of a status quo, and they are part of a minority and by coming out, hopefully they are making the minority unite in a way. People are still bullied and treated unfairly because of their sexuality, and by being open, you are fighting for equal rights. It also shows that sexuality isn't as evil as people claim it is. People believe homosexuality is wrong, and if someone who you are close with, and admire as a person were to reveal and come out, it would change your views and see that person is just like me. So that is why many come out.

With the United States and Canada both legalizing equality in marriage recently, hopefully nobody will have to come out, and people can just be open and equal with their sexuality.

[Vermilion]

I totally agree with you, no, you don't have to come out, your sexuality is your business. If you want to be open, wonderful. If you want to be closeted, that's fine. As long as you are comfortable with yourself, it's alright.

However, I will tell you the reason why many people decide to.

We live in a heteronormal society, and those who are LGBT, feel they have the right to be open with their sexuality. They just want others to know, they are not part of a status quo, and they are part of a minority and by coming out, hopefully they are making the minority unite in a way. People are still bullied and treated unfairly because of their sexuality, and by being open, you are fighting for equal rights. It also shows that sexuality isn't as evil as people claim it is. People believe homosexuality is wrong, and if someone who you are close with, and admire as a person were to reveal and come out, it would change your views and see that person is just like me. So that is why many come out.

With the United States and Canada both legalizing equality in marriage recently, hopefully nobody will have to come out, and people can just be open and equal with their sexuality.


It's been legal in all Canada since 2005 so 10 year this month I belive

[Zachary G]

Because everyone is assumed to be straight, coming out is usually a persons way of setting the record straight so that other persons, know where you are coming from.

This is just one of many of my points of view on the subject

[Jaffe]

What you describe is pretty much how my life was too.. I've never come out, never felt the need to label it, and my parents know I am bi and have never said anything about it.

Unfortunately, thats not the norm. My dream would be a society that doesnt care, that never labels, that never talks about it, not because its taboo, but because they just dont care. I dont know if that will ever happen, but I hope so.

[DoodleSnap]

What you describe is what I would consider to be a goal for most families: a situation in which the family doesn't assume that their child is any sexuality, but just accepts them, regardless of what type of relationship they end up in.
It is a shame that the world has grown to be so heteronormative, but it is what it is.
I hope, like jaffed, that we are able to get past this one day, and ends up worrying less about labels, and more about what each person feels.

[Hudor]

Coming out is relevant as long as the notion still prevails that homosexuality is abnormal. In the idyllic state, the lgbt will not have to live in doubt and guilt for being who they are, not seek acceptance from others or try to obtain a moral sanction to justify their life choices. In that state people wouldn't care and there won't be a need to come out. But unfortunately we haven't reached that state though I hope we do some day.
Personally idk if it be more hilarious or horrific if I decided to walk into my house unannounced and introduce a boyfriend to my parents. It would definitely not go well.

[Abhorrence]

People usually assume most people are straight so coming out is kind of important if you want a relationship with someone other than the opposite sex.

[Andyyy95]

It's because of how in today's society, it is acceptable for people to not be straight; whereas in the 70's/80's (or even earlier), it probably would have gotten you into a lot of trouble.

People feel the need to label them self, in order to start searching for their interest/relationship as it's not automatically assumed that everybody is straight nowadays. However, the hardest part is probably having the courage to 'come out' to people (especially their close ones) and how they would react to it. Not everybody may react in the way you want them to, so it is like taking quite a big risk in your life, if not the biggest.


When I found out I was pansexual and had my first girlfriend I didn't tell my parents about it. I just came home with her one day.

Have you spoken to your parents at all about this since?

[Kirina]

When I found out I was pansexual and had my first girlfriend I didn't tell my parents about it. I just came home with her one day.

Just be who you want to be and don't worry about having to tell people about it.

In this era I think being gay is just as normal as being straight. Imagine how ridiculous it would be to say to your parents, "Mom, dad. I'm straight". No one ever comes out as straight, so no one should have to come out as gay either.

Just live your life.

:wub: