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July 3rd, 2015, 11:04 AM
I have a friend, who I really-really like, but... He's just a friend.
I want to confess to him (I'm gay and he's bi — 75:25, guys/girls ratio), but I'm kinda afraid. Ok, I'm afraid a lot. The thing is, he's perfect (bet you've never heard that one).
A "little" back story: we are both pretty fucked up: he's just very insecure and I'm just in the head...
He think's that he's really ugly, fat and stupid and because of that he will be forever alone and die alone with cats. Seriously. I always try to convince him in the opposite because I really think this way. I'm a very straight forward person so I would tell him, if he'd be any of those things. He's even planning on going through several plastic surgery's. I don't want him to do them, not because I think it is wrong, but because I think the problem is not in his face, but how he perceives it (he was bullied during his childhood). I always try to find a way to make him feel better and say to him that he looks great etc., etc. But he refuses to believe me and says that I just try to make him feel better because I'm his friend.
So one time I gave up and decided to show him that he's not fat (he's 130 pounds max. Really...) by just buying and bringing to our next meeting a soft ruler. I measured him and compared with Valter Torsleff (I chose this model because he says that I kind look like Valter). I think I really got to him that night, when I showed to him that he's just 2 inches bigger in the waist region than Valter. I think he really wanted to kiss me then. But I may be wrong. He just stared at me with very strange eyes being like only 20 centimeters away from me and said nothing. I though this was really awkward and said something (don't remember what). We hugged, as usual, and he sincerely thanked me for doing that for him. I honestly don't think I've heard from him complaining about him being fat ever again. I win!
We both several times in the past have told to each other that we think we would be perfect partners (not for each other. Just in general) in a relationship, because reason-reason-reason. And here's another problem. He think's that he doesn't deserve to be loved... This makes me very sad. He's great and he says things like that.
It's not over yet. He sometimes says that he's a bit afraid of me. Generally because I can't keep my mouth shut and like to say everyone about my fucked up tastes and what I find to be aesthetically beautiful.
tl;dr: he may like or may not. and I have no idea if he would want to see me as his boyfriend. he says that I'm a very caring and great overall individual and 7.5-8/10 on the "good looking" scale, lol.
Anyways. Cut the BS.
I would want him to be more than a friend, but I'm afraid to lose him as a friend, if I try to.
Pretty rational, I think.
So, I want some strategies. Please? The "best" thing I can think of right now on how to approach this is to say something like: "you deserve to be loved and would be a great partner in any relationship. I would be your boyfriend, if I hadn't friendzoned myself to you a long time ago, haha". I know, it's shit and pretty pathetic, but it's a passive approach that would let him know what I think of him and would force him to react. I would then decide, according to his reaction, what to do next. I don't want to lose this person, even if it means to stay friends, but I think I might risk for more.
And the time is not on my side... Because I will help him carry his bags to the train tomorrow. He's leaving for the rest of the summer where he will have no internet and will be able to text me only once a week. So he will have a lot of time to think about the last move I made.
Ahhh. After writing this for an hour I don't even know why I'm writing in the first place. I dunno. I'm a bit lost. Maybe someone could throw some advice at me? I don't even know what I want to hear. Tempted to delete the whole thing buuuut.... whatever. *clicks Submit New Thread*
I want to confess to him (I'm gay and he's bi — 75:25, guys/girls ratio), but I'm kinda afraid. Ok, I'm afraid a lot. The thing is, he's perfect (bet you've never heard that one).
A "little" back story: we are both pretty fucked up: he's just very insecure and I'm just in the head...
He think's that he's really ugly, fat and stupid and because of that he will be forever alone and die alone with cats. Seriously. I always try to convince him in the opposite because I really think this way. I'm a very straight forward person so I would tell him, if he'd be any of those things. He's even planning on going through several plastic surgery's. I don't want him to do them, not because I think it is wrong, but because I think the problem is not in his face, but how he perceives it (he was bullied during his childhood). I always try to find a way to make him feel better and say to him that he looks great etc., etc. But he refuses to believe me and says that I just try to make him feel better because I'm his friend.
So one time I gave up and decided to show him that he's not fat (he's 130 pounds max. Really...) by just buying and bringing to our next meeting a soft ruler. I measured him and compared with Valter Torsleff (I chose this model because he says that I kind look like Valter). I think I really got to him that night, when I showed to him that he's just 2 inches bigger in the waist region than Valter. I think he really wanted to kiss me then. But I may be wrong. He just stared at me with very strange eyes being like only 20 centimeters away from me and said nothing. I though this was really awkward and said something (don't remember what). We hugged, as usual, and he sincerely thanked me for doing that for him. I honestly don't think I've heard from him complaining about him being fat ever again. I win!
We both several times in the past have told to each other that we think we would be perfect partners (not for each other. Just in general) in a relationship, because reason-reason-reason. And here's another problem. He think's that he doesn't deserve to be loved... This makes me very sad. He's great and he says things like that.
It's not over yet. He sometimes says that he's a bit afraid of me. Generally because I can't keep my mouth shut and like to say everyone about my fucked up tastes and what I find to be aesthetically beautiful.
tl;dr: he may like or may not. and I have no idea if he would want to see me as his boyfriend. he says that I'm a very caring and great overall individual and 7.5-8/10 on the "good looking" scale, lol.
Anyways. Cut the BS.
I would want him to be more than a friend, but I'm afraid to lose him as a friend, if I try to.
Pretty rational, I think.
So, I want some strategies. Please? The "best" thing I can think of right now on how to approach this is to say something like: "you deserve to be loved and would be a great partner in any relationship. I would be your boyfriend, if I hadn't friendzoned myself to you a long time ago, haha". I know, it's shit and pretty pathetic, but it's a passive approach that would let him know what I think of him and would force him to react. I would then decide, according to his reaction, what to do next. I don't want to lose this person, even if it means to stay friends, but I think I might risk for more.
And the time is not on my side... Because I will help him carry his bags to the train tomorrow. He's leaving for the rest of the summer where he will have no internet and will be able to text me only once a week. So he will have a lot of time to think about the last move I made.
Ahhh. After writing this for an hour I don't even know why I'm writing in the first place. I dunno. I'm a bit lost. Maybe someone could throw some advice at me? I don't even know what I want to hear. Tempted to delete the whole thing buuuut.... whatever. *clicks Submit New Thread*