Question for Bi's with BF/GF

[Sports Boy]

If you are a bi guy with a girlfriend or a bi girl with a boyfriend, do they know you are bisexual? are you honest with them? And do you have an open relationship or are you monogamous? This is a personal dilemma for me. I am bi but my girlfriend has no idea and I feel like I'm being dishonest that she doesn't know who the "real me" is. BTW, I just joined VT.

[TessaBear]

Yeah, mine was pan but we've never had problems. Never with any of my partners. I'm currently with a lesbian who has no problem with my sexuality. If you feel comfortable, tell her! Don't force it though

[fast8]

You can tell her if she really loves you it won't matter

[SethfromMI]

I am bi and I have been dating my girl friend for 8 months now. she did not have any problem knowing and she also knows I would never, ever cheat on her with anyone else.If she loves you, she will accept you and if you love her, you will not do anything with anyone else (unless you guys go for an open relationship, which those never work out for the better in the end)

[Sports Boy]

Thanks for your advice. I appreciate it. I would never cheat on her because we have a great relationship and I wouldn't want to ruin it. But telling her would be a big step for me since I've never told anyone (except of course for the guys I have been with). But I would feel better if she knew.
Thanks!

[Abhorrence]

A few years ago when I thought I was bisexual I was with a girl and I told her I was and she had no issue with it.

[Jaffe]

I am bi (but god knows, when I am 18 and the hormones die down, what I might be then), and I am open about it. I don't advertise it. I don't believe in "coming out". If I were in a relationship, I wouldn't change that attitude. If she figured it out, cool. If not, cool. If a girl or guy has to label me to be in a relationship, then I dont want the relationship.

[Cognizant]

All my previous partners were made aware that I was bisexual, and only one of them had a problem with it because he had trust issues combined by the fact that I wasn't a fully-fledged gay dude (he was convinced that I would cheat on him for a girl).

Just because I'm bisexual doesn't make me a homewrecker. It doesn't make me a whore. I just have the ability to like both guys and girls.

[Laibachd]

I do have an open relationship, but my boyfriend is bisexual, too :D

[DoodleSnap]

The foundation of any good relationship is a policy of communication and honesty.
If you are having a dilemma, then speak to them, as being able to work through the problem together is much easier than worrying about it alone.
Both my girlfriend and I identify as bisexual, and we are completely honest and open about it with each other. We have had conversations about sexuality before: explaining how we feel and theorising why, etc... But we are always fully truthful about it. Regarding stuff like open-relationships; we are still unsure, and trying to find a label that suits us best.

[Hudor]

I don't intend to have a gf as of now but if I had I would tell her I was bi if she asked or if I felt the need to. Whether or not she knew I wouldn't be cheating on her anyway so I don't think it should make much of a difference that which gender I would have the potential to cheat on her with.

[ImTrickster]

well my girlfreind is bi and she is honest ith me and she said that it would be cool to experiemnt and try things, actually we arnt really like bf and gf but more friends with benefits.

[GothicEm]

Well I am Pansexual..not much different. I have told my Boyfriend and he is bi as wel..I dont think its much of a big deal if they truly care about you they wont say much about it nor will they judge you. If you just dont feel like its the right time to tell her dont. Take your time. It can be difficult.

[shamrockgirl02]

I have had bfs and gfs and I have always been honest from the get-go about my sexuality. I haven't had a long enough relationship to discuss being "open" yet, but I might be willing.

[ashdaniel]

I am bi but I havent come out yet. I only have a bf before and he is gay. I dont know how to answer your question. If I came out, I will not afraid to tell my gf but I am still in the closet. It is hard to tell your gf that you are bi. There are many reaction and I am fearful to know. It is a dilemma that bi people may face but mostly to those who are still in the closet.

[Karkat]

I wouldn't say I'm bi or that he's my "boyfriend" but Charlie outright asked me if I was gay

His gaydar beeped at me. It had found another gay in the area.

But yeah, I'm sort of grey-asexual, grey-aromantic, semi-poly, sort of idk I find certain people attractive and I get heart ons for others but yeah, closest thing I have to a partner is Chuck and he absolutely knows and is accepting and is part of the queer crowd also so yeah

[maggs]

My ex knows I am, he had no issues.

[ObliviousCat]

I'm a bisexual girl with a boyfriend. Yes, he knows and it doesn't bother him in the slightest; he just accepts me as I am. We remain monogamous.

If your partner doesn't accept you for who you are or what you choose, perhaps it'd be better to know that sooner than later. You don't want someone who won't accept you as a big part of your life in the grand scheme of things. Plus, honesty is a very important aspect in a relationship. I think it's important to tell her soon. If she reacts positively, great! She's a keeper. If she reacts negatively, well...maybe not so much.

[Taraloid]

I'm a bi (maybe lesbian) girl with a bisexual girlfriend. She's the most loyal, sweetest person ever so cheating would never be something either of us would do. Straight and gay people cheat just as much as bisexuals. There's the argument that bi people "have more people to cheat with" which technically is true, but just because they technically have a bigger dating pool doesn't mean they cheat. I think you should tell your girlfriend, it's best to be honest if it's a part of you.
I guess there are misconceptions about bisexuality, like they're more likely to cheat, every bi person is polyamorous, and they can get tired of the gender they are with. This is true for some but not all, and I've seen and heard people stereotype on these often.
It really depends, what does your gf think about LGBT?

[megmurph]

I've always been open with my boyfriends. Some are ok with it, others are weary. I would think they would like it since most boys like the thought of two girls doing stuff together. It's led to some fun situations. It's always best to be open up front so there isn't any confusion later.

[AutumnWinds]

I've always been open with my boyfriends. Some are ok with it, others are weary. I would think they would like it since most boys like the thought of two girls doing stuff together. It's led to some fun situations. It's always best to be open up front so there isn't any confusion later.

what kind of situations?

[AutumnWinds]

i'm a bi female with a...i dunno. somewhere between fwb and boyfriend.... anyhow he knows and accepts me for who i am. we're not strictly monogamous, but its not an open relationship. sometimes we bring someone else into what we have but we don't just see whoever we want. i can see where it might be scarier though being a guy because society is much more accepting of girls with girl than boys with boys usually.

[gct221]

I'm 14 female and have played around a lot with other girls. Never had a bi boy friend. If wanted to mess around with a guy as long as I could watch mmm

[thegreatgatz]

My girlfriend knows I'm bi. We were friends a long time, and she eventually accepted me and reconciled her feelings with mine and my sexuality .

[Cryssy]

I'm always honest with my partners and they've always been perfectly fine with that, I don't see why someone wouldn't.

[Andre 99]

Yes, I have been honest with my gf

[Bacca]

All my close friends know I'm bi and my gf is no exception