My parents are awesome

[Jaffe]

I have to get it out there. I just have to tell somebody.

My parents told us last night that my dad has turned down his rotation. Which really means that we will be staying in ***. another 2.5 years. That shouldn't be a big deal. But it is.

My parents want to go home, which to them means Amsterdam. They hate living in the USA and especially in *****. Really hate it. But they are staying, and we all know they are doing it for me. This is where I came out of depression (at least mostly... still happens sometimes). This is where I made my first friends ever, where I finally started doing okay in school, where I would take the initiative to actually do things on my own. I joined the swim team, I go to the beach (with friends usually but sometimes even alone). I love living here. Its sunny and warm and there is lots to do, and.. I really don't know what it is, it just is what and where I like. It's home to me because this is the only place I have really “lived” even though we didn't even come here until I was 13.

I shouldn't even have to do this, but I have to tell somebody, and you guys are the best. So this is what I have to tell the world: My parents are the most awesome people in the world. They have always been there for me. When I was depressed and spent weeks in bed at a time, my mom was always there. She didn't have a job, because she stayed with me to keep me from hurting myself, or worse. For two years, I was never left alone. She's one of my best friends. I sometimes feel bad for people on VT because they talk about trouble with their parents, or being awkward around them, or not being able to talk to them. It's hard for me to understand, because I love to talk to my parents, even deep discussions, about everything. And they always stop to listen, like 100% listen, not half-ass listen.

But to think they would give up going home, just to let me stay here, is like..... the most awesome thing they could ever do. When they told us at dinner, I started to cry. (Yeah, I'll admit it. I'm almost 16, and I cried.) Because I knew immediately why they were doing it and how much they were giving up for me.

So I just have to get it out. My parents are awesome. There, I've said it. And now you all know it too.

[Vermilion]

That's great :)

[Bmble_B]

Yeah that's a great thing to have. And you're a great son for acknowledging your parents' efforts :D

[Pat the Bunny]

My heart totally warmed up by reading this :D

[Leon03]

Great that you love your parents and are grateful for what they did.
I take a bow for you openly speak about it.
This should remind so many of us: It is so much easier to complain about and to demand from your parents than to thank for what they did and always do for us day by day.

[Just JT]

That's real cool man.... really cool :):)

[Jaffe]

That's great :)

Yeah that's a great thing to have. And you're a great son for acknowledging your parents' efforts :D

My heart totally warmed up by reading this :D

That's real cool man.... really cool :):)

Thanks guys. I really didnt expect any response, because I was just... venting... or whatever it is when its positive instead of negative. But I do appreciate all of you!

Great that you love your parents and are grateful for what they did.
I take a bow for you openly speak about it.
This should remind so many of us: It is so much easier to complain about and to demand from your parents than to thank for what they did and always do for us day by day.

Thanks Leon. I know you understand me, and I appreciate it a lot. But you are so right here, when you say that we don't often enough stop to think how much our parents do. We all (myself included) complain and argue with them a lot. And they just brush it off and keep helping us.

[Just JT]

Dude, u got no idea how lucky u r...
Really, I'd give my left n** for rents, or rents like that man...

[Bull]

Great show of love and respect from parents to you and from you to your parents! That is great. Thanks for sharing.

[Jaffe]

Dude, u got no idea how lucky u r...
Really, I'd give my left n** for rents, or rents like that man...

Actually, JT, you're wrong. I DO know how lucky I am. I even try to let my parents know that I know that, but that's not always easy to do. In my whole life, I have never even had the slightest thought that they might split up, and I am sure they never will. All my life, home has been where I felt the safest, the most protected, the place I could just be me and it was really ok to be me. Yeah, there are things I hated. Like dumping all my shit in boxes every few years and following them to wherever the hell the next place was, and starting over. I never got used to that. I hated it. And I'm just a normal kid, so I used to (still do some) argue with my parents, accuse them of being unfair, tell them they don't understand..... heh, but somewhere inside I know they are usually right. And I know, through and through, without any doubt, that they'd give anything for me and my sibs, which I've finally figured out is really rare in parents. So yeah, I definitely do know how lucky I am.

Edit to add: JT, I didnt mean to sound cruel there.... I know things are rough for a lot of kids. I know I am lucky. I wish I could share my family with every kid that doesnt have the same thing. Or to somehow convince all parents to care about the kids they brought into the world. Never having been there, I cannot even pretend to understand what your life or relationships are like. I cannot say I know how you feel, because I dont. But bud, if there were any way to do it, I'd share my parents, I'd try to make your world better some way. I just wish it were possible.

[Just JT]

That's cool man, really is...
And I agree withya, u know what u got
I was jealous is all, real jealous, but also real happy for ya to cause I also know that stuff don't always work out the way it does for you

I'm real glad ur able to be happy and thrive and have a family who's that cool....��

[skittle]

I love hearing stories like this! I'm so happy for you!
Have an incredible next few years in L.A :)

[SethfromMI]

awww good for you man. that is very sweet you appreciate your parents :D they sound like amazing people :)

[Abhorrence]

I'm so happy for you, it is nice to hear a pleasant story on here. :D

[Meganium]

You're a very fortunate teen. I'm happy for you. Continue to treat them and yourself well.

[Sports Boy]

Wow, what a great story. By what you have written and how you've expressed yourself, it seems like it would be so easy for your family and friends to love you.

[pjones]

But to think they would give up going home, just to let me stay here, is like..... the most awesome thing they could ever do. When they told us at dinner, I started to cry. (Yeah, I'll admit it. I'm almost 16, and I cried.) Because I knew immediately why they were doing it and how much they were giving up for me.

So I just have to get it out. My parents are awesome. There, I've said it. And now you all know it too.

OK now i'm drying my tears....
it sounds like you have been through a lot and your family has been very supportive. my parents are like that and i wish everyone's parents were but i know it's not realistic. hug and kiss them often, like i do with my mom and dad.

[Jaffe]

OK now i'm drying my tears....
it sounds like you have been through a lot and your family has been very supportive. my parents are like that and i wish everyone's parents were but i know it's not realistic. hug and kiss them often, like i do with my mom and dad.

I wish I could be like you in that way. I have a lot of trouble telling people how I really feel. Its one reason they started letting me get on VT. I try to let my parents know I love and appreciate them but its not easy for me to say.

And yeah, they are awesome. But we still argue and I still get pissed I cant always do what I want, and... you know, teenager stuff.

[pjones]

I wish I could be like you in that way. I have a lot of trouble telling people how I really feel. Its one reason they started letting me get on VT. I try to let my parents know I love and appreciate them but its not easy for me to say.

And yeah, they are awesome. But we still argue and I still get pissed I cant always do what I want, and... you know, teenager stuff.

we argue, disagree, have been grounded, all that stuff. but if i'm home, i don't go to bed without giving them a kiss goodnight.

[Jaffe]

we argue, disagree, have been grounded, all that stuff. but if i'm home, i don't go to bed without giving them a kiss goodnight.

I havent done that since I was a little kid, and don't know if I could. I'm really a very physical, touching person. But not that kind of a touching person, not the hugs and kisses kind. Which kind of sucks, because I wish I was that way, I wish I could just say what I think and feel, and show it. But it just doesnt happen. I admire that you can, Paul.

[pjones]

I havent done that since I was a little kid, and don't know if I could. I'm really a very physical, touching person. But not that kind of a touching person, not the hugs and kisses kind. Which kind of sucks, because I wish I was that way, I wish I could just say what I think and feel, and show it. But it just doesnt happen. I admire that you can, Paul.

i love hugs, giving and getting them. my friends are used to me hugging them now but at first they weren't sure about it. now they understand it's about a family type of affection, never meant to be sexual. and my best friend now kisses his parents goodnight as well as my parents when he stays over.

i'm sure people will think it's weird that a 15 year old boy would kiss his parents goodnight. but i would rather be teased about it then regret not showing my love for my family who love and support me and provide me with a home, food, clothes, an education, and the opportunity to try and be whatever i want to be.

[Just JT]

I keep ending up at this thread, and I just wanted to say that I'm still very happy for you. Yes I got your pm. Would love to chat and am workin hard to get to the 100 mark
Think we have a lot in common we cod talk about
But u should work on that big thing cause it's really. Ice to get and give a blog big to someone. It does more than words can sometimes

[Sports Boy]

It's kind of ironic that in one of your previous posts you talked about how affectionate your parents are with each other yet you can't seem to get there. With the way they are with each other, and with how much they clearly love you, I bet your mom would love to get an occasional random kiss on the cheek and that your dad would love a playful bear hug or a pat on the back, or something like that, from you. It doesn't have to be formal, but maybe just an occasional unexpected show of affection from you would let them know how much you appreciate them. Just my 2 cents in trying to help, Jaffed.

[Jaffe]

It's kind of ironic that in one of your previous posts you talked about how affectionate your parents are with each other yet you can't seem to get there. With the way they are with each other, and with how much they clearly love you, I bet your mom would love to get an occasional random kiss on the cheek and that your dad would love a playful bear hug or a pat on the back, or something like that, from you. It doesn't have to be formal, but maybe just an occasional unexpected show of affection from you would let them know how much you appreciate them. Just my 2 cents in trying to help, Jaffed.

Heh, it is kind of ironic. And its totally my issue. Theyd love it, I am sure. But there is shit that holds me back that I hvent been able to get over. Guilt, fear, not being good enough, that kinda stuff ... shit I am not ready to talk about, even on VT let alone irl. Someday maybe,. One of my goals is to be able to actual tell them. They know I love them, they have to. Its just... idk.

[Sports Boy]

Sounds like some tough stuff, Jaffe. I'm throwing a virtual hug your way. But please begin taking small steps to get you where you want to be. I can promise you it will pay off.

[TheMatrix]

That's just the thing about Dutchmen: once they go to California, they never want to come back.

I'm still here, after all :P

All joking aside, it's great that they're doing this for you. I know they worry about you, and they must be scared when you're depressed.

I believe that you can give your parents a hug (unless your depression was directly about them). It will be good for both of you, I know it. I read somewhere that hugging releases a hormone (name starts with an 'O') that makes you feel good.

A good "unexpected" situation might be when your report cards come out (if they haven't already, and if they're good). When your parents congratulate you, tell them thanks and offer a hug. I'm sure they'll accept it.

Good luck, and stay strong! :)

[Jaffe]

That's just the thing about Dutchmen: once they go to California, they never want to come back.

I'm still here, after all :P

All joking aside, it's great that they're doing this for you. I know they worry about you, and they must be scared when you're depressed.

I believe that you can give your parents a hug (unless your depression was directly about them). It will be good for both of you, I know it. I read somewhere that hugging releases a hormone (name starts with an 'O') that makes you feel good.

A good "unexpected" situation might be when your report cards come out (if they haven't already, and if they're good). When your parents congratulate you, tell them thanks and offer a hug. I'm sure they'll accept it.

Good luck, and stay strong! :)

Thanks, Thomas. "Scared" does not even begin to describe what my mom feels. My depression was unrelated to my parents, except maybe for having to move around the world every few years so I never really got to develop friends. I haven't figured out yet how much of a role that played. The problem is, the guilt and feelings of inadequacy are directly related to them. Not that they caused them at all, its all inside my head, and its entirely my fault.

Heh. Marks/grades. I'm doing good to get a C. This summer, I did not have to go to summer school for remedials (no Fs this year, yay!) and that was good, but still. Which is one of the reasons I feel like Im not good enough, since I have 2 older siblings that got all As and a younger one that gets pissed at himself for getting a B once in a while. They never get mad at me for poor grades. But I feel it. Like I said, its all inside my head. Consciously I know its stupid and doesnt matter. But in my head, its important and too big an obstacle to get over or around.

[Just JT]

I havent done that since I was a little kid, and don't know if I could. I'm really a very physical, touching person. But not that kind of a touching person, not the hugs and kisses kind. Which kind of sucks, because I wish I was that way, I wish I could just say what I think and feel, and show it. But it just doesnt happen. I admire that you can, Paul.

Hey, can completely understand the hugs and kisses thing, but they are way more powerful than words are, should give it a try

[TheMatrix]

Heh. Marks/grades. I'm doing good to get a C. This summer, I did not have to go to summer school for remedials (no Fs this year, yay!) and that was good, but still. Which is one of the reasons I feel like Im not good enough, since I have 2 older siblings that got all As and a younger one that gets pissed at himself for getting a B once in a while. They never get mad at me for poor grades. But I feel it. Like I said, its all inside my head. Consciously I know its stupid and doesnt matter. But in my head, its important and too big an obstacle to get over or around.

Keep this in mind: You are not other people.

You shouldn't have to be, either: it seems your parents are at least accepting of your issues, and since they love you, you can and most certainly should be who you are.

Set your own goals for yourself. You don't have to strive for an A+ right away, but you'll get there eventually.

You can do it! :)