im so lost

[vboy]

Ok this is a loong story that ive been putting off telling for a long time
Apologies if this is in the wrong section

I am gay. I know I am im sexually andemotionally attracted to guys, and im autistic (ashpergers syndrome) which becomes relevent later.
Heres the thing even though inknow im gay, I have been in 3 relationships with girls, I am totally closeted and I have lied to everyomne this entire time. and this week I was friend zoned by a girl and I was upset! Y was I upset? I think it was because if I dont have a gf then theres nothing to zupport my lie and I would have to face the truith and the haters and the homophobes. And thats not the beginning, there was a guy at my school, an aquaintence who I spoke 2 every now and then cause we have common interests or something I dont know but, I messaged him at the time of being friend zoned and I nerley let it slip that I was gay, tnen of course that night I got drunk (for the first and last!! Time) and I told him my biggest secret, one which I havent told any living soul (u guys don't count cause this is anonymous) and I bareley know the guy, I mean he is open and he promised not to tell anyone but can I trust him, its all there on fb messanger, he could easilly show everyone and that would be the end of it. He said that I can talk to him if I need to but im socially aquard, im terrible wi people cause when I make a friend I usually annoy them, or talk too much and then hell probably be like fuck this and not bother. Ive never had any real friends, anyone I can trust. Ive had pals yes but nothing more, and most of them were homophobes anyway.

I should just cum out but I can' t. Im uncomfortable and afraid and im not ready. Mum and dad just makeit too aquard. Ive coped fine untill now but because ive told this person its all I can think about and I need to put my mind at ease. And I need to become less socially aquard so that I could possibly have someone I can talk to about this sort of thing and someone that I can go through it with.
Im sorry for rambling theres just no other way I can place all this and I cant convince myself enough to do what I should do and just come out and get it over with and stop being soo difficult.
I don't know what im asking but I need some answer to all this

One more thing
Should I send the guy a link to all this or should I not because of tje trust issues

[The37thElement]

Ok this is a loong story that ive been putting off telling for a long time
Apologies if this is in the wrong section

I am gay. I know I am im sexually andemotionally attracted to guys, and im autistic (ashpergers syndrome) which becomes relevent later.
Heres the thing even though inknow im gay, I have been in 3 relationships with girls, I am totally closeted and I have lied to everyomne this entire time. and this week I was friend zoned by a girl and I was upset! Y was I upset? I think it was because if I dont have a gf then theres nothing to zupport my lie and I would have to face the truith and the haters and the homophobes. And thats not the beginning, there was a guy at my school, an aquaintence who I spoke 2 every now and then cause we have common interests or something I dont know but, I messaged him at the time of being friend zoned and I nerley let it slip that I was gay, tnen of course that night I got drunk (for the first and last!! Time) and I told him my biggest secret, one which I havent told any living soul (u guys don't count cause this is anonymous) and I bareley know the guy, I mean he is open and he promised not to tell anyone but can I trust him, its all there on fb messanger, he could easilly show everyone and that would be the end of it. He said that I can talk to him if I need to but im socially aquard, im terrible wi people cause when I make a friend I usually annoy them, or talk too much and then hell probably be like fuck this and not bother. Ive never had any real friends, anyone I can trust. Ive had pals yes but nothing more, and most of them were homophobes anyway.

I should just cum out but I can' t. Im uncomfortable and afraid and im not ready. Mum and dad just makeit too aquard. Ive coped fine untill now but because ive told this person its all I can think about and I need to put my mind at ease. And I need to become less socially aquard so that I could possibly have someone I can talk to about this sort of thing and someone that I can go through it with.
Im sorry for rambling theres just no other way I can place all this and I cant convince myself enough to do what I should do and just come out and get it over with and stop being soo difficult.
I don't know what im asking but I need some answer to all this

I say do it. What's the worst that can happen?

[beenthere]

Hey Dude, first off, you don't need to prove anything to anyone, that is just kind of a bad habit, there are plenty of strait guys that are not dating anyone. As for outing yourself with the one guy. I'll tell you, anyone closeted takes a few chances sometimes, and usually regret it. I know it seems horrible, but it will pass. I will tell you something else also, I have seen it many times with a good friend of mine who is also closeted and drinks too much, he don't say he is gay, but he gets very deep, and all but says it. Its not because he wants to come out, but he is searching for someone the same as he is. I guess my advise to you is you don't have to come out to everyone, but its not really anyones business what your sexuality is. you choose who you want to share it with. It is very tough to find other closeted people to talk to, my friend has run into that many times because once the line gets crossed, then they get really nervous. He has had his heart broken a couple of times because they just cut him off when they get nervous, in some cases it took him like a year too get them to open up, so he put in a lot of time with them. its not impossible, if you find someone you can talk to, I know you want to let everything out, but take your time build a friendship before you open up all the way. places like this can hold you over for a while. There are plenty of people just like you.

[Hermes]

Only you can decide if and when you come out.

In the mean time, though, there are a couple of things you could do:

1. Be more honest with girls. By all means be friends but if you are not romantically or sexually attracted it is better to be honest about that rather than lead her on. Leading girls on like that isn't really fair to them and if one of them twigs why you seemed interested at first but not as things got deeper then she may be the one to out you. You don't need a g/f to deflect suspicions of being gay. Some people stay single longer than others and you can just tell people you have other interests and don't have time for g/f.

2. Find like minded people. I am pretty sure there is a forum here for gay teens and there may be others run by organisations that are more focused on gay teens. I'd also check out places in your home town where you might meet others in person., not necessarily to date but to talk, compare notes and experiences and support each other.

[Living For Love]

Puberty For Boys :arrow2: Relationships and Dating.

[vboy]

I say do it. What's the worst that can happen?

scientifically speaking there is litterally an infanite number of possibilities, not impossible just very improbable

[lukene]

This children is why we don't drink.
But in all seriousness, I don't think this is a situation where someone says, feel free to talk to me, out of politeness. I think the best thing to do is talk to him, maybe get comfortable with your sexuality with him first, it will do wonders for your confidence and prepare you for when you do decide to let others know.

[Zachary G]

If you are truly gay, then you should stop with the charade of being straight, it only causes more problems than what its actually worth. You would be better of being single and just having a bunch of girl friends. I understand you are closeted and are not ready to come out to anyone just yet, but you need to stop setting yourself up for heartache and having to scramble when the girl decides to move on.

Secondly, who you love and how you love is no ones business but your own, so if you want to share that with someone thats great, but if you do not then there should be no problems there either.

Finally, so you took a chance telling your friend, it happens and that could do one of two things, 1) come back and bite you in the ass, or 2) nothing - he could jusy keep your secret and be a good friend to you.

Ultimately there is no advice to give on any of this because you have to make the decisions concerning your life for yourself and only you know when you will be ready or when the right time will be. Take a deep breath and relax and let the cards fall where they may, then you can go from there.

[vboy]

This children is why we don't drink.
But in all seriousness, I don't think this is a situation where someone says, feel free to talk to me, out of politeness. I think the best thing to do is talk to him, maybe get comfortable with your sexuality with him first, it will do wonders for your confidence and prepare you for when you do decide to let others know.

If you are truly gay, then you should stop with the charade of being straight, it only causes more problems than what its actually worth. You would be better of being single and just having a bunch of girl friends. I understand you are closeted and are not ready to come out to anyone just yet, but you need to stop setting yourself up for heartache and having to scramble when the girl decides to move on.

Secondly, who you love and how you love is no ones business but your own, so if you want to share that with someone thats great, but if you do not then there should be no problems there either.

Finally, so you took a chance telling your friend, it happens and that could do one of two things, 1) come back and bite you in the ass, or 2) nothing - he could jusy keep your secret and be a good friend to you.

Ultimately there is no advice to give on any of this because you have to make the decisions concerning your life for yourself and only you know when you will be ready or when the right time will be. Take a deep breath and relax and let the cards fall where they may, then you can go from there.

You know what ur right
Im not ready to come out yet but I shouldn't lead girls on like that "even though they dump me"