Friend's parents splitting up

[paletanner]

one of my friend's parents are splitting up. he's really depressed, talks about running away, talks about hurting himself. i don't want him to do anything and i don't want him to get hurt. i don't know what to do to help him. all i'm doing is being there for him, try to support him. but what can i really do?

[Jaffe]

Wow, that really sucks. Being there for him is probably the biggest thing. Does he have your number or live close by? Can he just leave his house and come to you when his parents start fighting/yelling? Have you told him he can do that?

Have you talked to your parents about it? To see if they have any ideas, or if they can help by giving him a safe supportive place to be, even if its just a few hours when he needs it. I think sometimes just being with people besides family, away from home, gives people in his situation time to think and relax, without the issue hanging over them all the time.

[paletanner]

Wow, that really sucks. Being there for him is probably the biggest thing. Does he have your number or live close by? Can he just leave his house and come to you when his parents start fighting/yelling? Have you told him he can do that?

Have you talked to your parents about it? To see if they have any ideas, or if they can help by giving him a safe supportive place to be, even if its just a few hours when he needs it. I think sometimes just being with people besides family, away from home, gives people in his situation time to think and relax, without the issue hanging over them all the time.

yes to all of the first paragraph. haven't talked to my parents yet.

[JonniCrash]

This happened to a friend of mine about 2 years ago and I let him know he could hang out with me whenever and call me whenever if he felt like he needed to escape for a bit.

He survived it and told me just knowing he had another option or a temporary escape made a huge difference, so be sure to let your friend know that you are there for him!

[Primenumber]

one of my friend's parents are splitting up. he's really depressed, talks about running away, talks about hurting himself. i don't want him to do anything and i don't want him to get hurt. i don't know what to do to help him. all i'm doing is being there for him, try to support him. but what can i really do?

Happened to me, it was the kind of nasty, horrible divorce that has caused us to move to another country with my mom. It stil sucks even though it happened 4 yrs ago.

Just be there for him, spend time with him so he doesn't have to think about it, and so he doesn't have to be home all the time, cause it is probably not the best place to be in right now.

[Jaffe]

haven't talked to my parents yet.

I just realized I didnt actually complete that thought......
I was just thinking that if he couldnt get to you, like if you were at the pool or something, and he had to get away, would he be comfortable going to your house anyway? And would your parents feel okay letting him in, and maybe letting him just hang out in your room or something until you got home? Or maybe feeding him lunch while he waited? Or.. idk.

Idk how close you two are, or if your family knows him. That might make a difference.

[paletanner]

I just realized I didnt actually complete that thought......
I was just thinking that if he couldnt get to you, like if you were at the pool or something, and he had to get away, would he be comfortable going to your house anyway? And would your parents feel okay letting him in, and maybe letting him just hang out in your room or something until you got home? Or maybe feeding him lunch while he waited? Or.. idk.

Idk how close you two are, or if your family knows him. That might make a difference.

they know about it now. i don't know if they'd be good with it. maybe they are.

[KeeganW]

My parents fought and had a lot of problems and got divorced, having friends around and being able to be someplace else sometimes as everybody else said was a HUGE help. Those are the nicest things you can do, plus listen when your friend wants to talk.

[paletanner]

My parents fought and had a lot of problems and got divorced, having friends around and being able to be someplace else sometimes as everybody else said was a HUGE help. Those are the nicest things you can do, plus listen when your friend wants to talk.

i'm trying to do that. it's hard to hear him talk about it because he keeps blaming himself for things his parents fight over. i try to tell him it's not his fault.

[Abhorrence]

It's a very common response that children blame themselves for their parents arguments. Sometimes, parents even drag the children into it because they often don't realise that they can actually be heard. It's always a horrible experience going through divorces and literally the only thing you can do is offer your help in the form of friendship - which you have been doing. Maybe just invite him out places or whatever, not even necessarily as a means of escape, just a means of you two spending time together as friends for fun.

[paletanner]

It's a very common response that children blame themselves for their parents arguments. Sometimes, parents even drag the children into it because they often don't realise that they can actually be heard. It's always a horrible experience going through divorces and literally the only thing you can do is offer your help in the form of friendship - which you have been doing. Maybe just invite him out places or whatever, not even necessarily as a means of escape, just a means of you two spending time together as friends for fun.

i'm doing what i can i guess.

[Jaffe]

i'm doing what i can i guess.

Imo, the guy is lucky to have you for a friend. A lot of people wouldn't even care, but you do.

And just being there for him like you are, letting him know the world isn't ending, is probably the best thing you can ever do.

[paletanner]

Imo, the guy is lucky to have you for a friend. A lot of people wouldn't even care, but you do.

And just being there for him like you are, letting him know the world isn't ending, is probably the best thing you can ever do.

he's my friend and i love him and i don't want to see him like this. i don't understand how anyone couldn't do this for a friend.

[Jaffe]

i don't understand how anyone couldn't do this for a friend.

Tanner, you are something. And I mean that in the most awesome way possible. I love reading your posts, because your attitude and kindness and innocence show up. Something I don't see much of among people around me, in adults or teenagers. Tbh, if my parents weren't as awesome as they are, and if they hadn't been there for me, I probably wouldn't be alive to post this right now. Having a friend like you would have made all the difference in the world, seriously. Like I said, the kid is lucky to have you. Just keep being who you are, and it will be an awesome help to him.

[Just JT]

hi I think Jaffed is right, just been there for him is all you can do and he's gota real cool friend like u
but if he's talkin about running away or hurting himself, and u really care as much as u say u do then u may wana look at what u can do to change that thinking
my parents divorced along time ago, it sucked, and I've run away from home to, and that's not much better, I'd tell him at a good point that if he's serious about that stuff ur guna have to say somethin so nothin happens to him...

[paletanner]

he's chilling with me tonight, so we're talking about all this.

[Andyyy95]

he's chilling with me tonight, so we're talking about all this.

Hope you both have a good relaxing evening together!

(From what I've read above, you seem like a really good friend and he should be really lucky to have you; just keep on being there for him!)

[Laibachd]

Just be there for him