TheRedViper
June 24th, 2015, 12:48 AM
So we've been friends for the past four years or so, though we've known each other longer than that. I guess I'd consider him my best friend, even though I don't really like the idea of "best" friends much. We get along very well and share many of the same interests. It isn't until recently, like maybe the past couple of months or so, that I've become jealous of him for pretty much one reason: he somehow has all these female friends that are both really attractive and have all these interests that he does. Like it seems so ridiculously convenient that of all the obscure and weird interests he has (and I share many of them) he has all these super attractive and cool girls for friends that share all those interests too. It just seems, I don't know... unfair...?
I know this sounds really petty, but that's what all jealousy is. Whenever we'll be talking about something, he'll randomly bring up a story about how one of his many female friends (that I never see, only hear about from him and his other friend) are also interested in that, and how they have these massive discussions on it. I'm talking discussions about philosophy, psychology, ethics, legit intelligent stuff like that. Now I have all of these interests too, and in some cases am more knowledgeable in them than he is, and yet he's the one with all these attractive girls hovering around him just waiting to talk to him about stuff. I have pretty much no actual female friends since my previous best friend (who was a super attractive but deeply troubled girl) moved away and had a kid. We used to hang out heaps and have massive discussions about stuff, but no more, sadly.
Like for example just today he starts complaining about this female friend of his, how she is, and I quote: "a fucking arthouse Cannes whore." Now... I'm massively into arthouse movies and Cannes films... but of course I don't know any girls that are. I'm also massively interested in philosophy and ethics... but of course I don't know any girls that are. He does. Somehow. I have no idea. We've gone to the same school for years, I don't know how he knows all these girls. I think they may have been friends with him at his past school. I don't know.
It just annoys me. He's often very... desperate, I suppose... for attention. He'll behave like a child with ADD just to get people's attention (especially girls) and then he'll often bring up awkward and bizarre conversations that no one really knows what he's talking about, but they like him cause they think he's weird and eccentric, but they have no idea he wants them to think that. Meanwhile I'm much more calm and reserved, although several girls have told me I'm really funny, and I get along well with pretty much everyone. But I have no actual female friends outside of school (where I have a few, but more just casual friends that I occasionally talk to sometimes).
Again, to people that don't know what jealousy is like, my entire post probably sounds like I'm a complete asshole, but... meh. Maybe I am, but that doesn't make me any less jealous. I wish I wasn't a jealous person, because he is genuinely my friend, but it's just so hard to listen to him talking endlessly about how many female friends he has that are interesting in ALL the stuff he is, which is also all the stuff I'm interested in, but I have... well, no one. It isn't because I'm rude or negative or anything like that in real life, I genuinely am not, but I just have no idea what's going on. Maybe he's just way luckier, or maybe I'm destined to not have female friends that share the same interests I do.
I know this sounds really petty, but that's what all jealousy is. Whenever we'll be talking about something, he'll randomly bring up a story about how one of his many female friends (that I never see, only hear about from him and his other friend) are also interested in that, and how they have these massive discussions on it. I'm talking discussions about philosophy, psychology, ethics, legit intelligent stuff like that. Now I have all of these interests too, and in some cases am more knowledgeable in them than he is, and yet he's the one with all these attractive girls hovering around him just waiting to talk to him about stuff. I have pretty much no actual female friends since my previous best friend (who was a super attractive but deeply troubled girl) moved away and had a kid. We used to hang out heaps and have massive discussions about stuff, but no more, sadly.
Like for example just today he starts complaining about this female friend of his, how she is, and I quote: "a fucking arthouse Cannes whore." Now... I'm massively into arthouse movies and Cannes films... but of course I don't know any girls that are. I'm also massively interested in philosophy and ethics... but of course I don't know any girls that are. He does. Somehow. I have no idea. We've gone to the same school for years, I don't know how he knows all these girls. I think they may have been friends with him at his past school. I don't know.
It just annoys me. He's often very... desperate, I suppose... for attention. He'll behave like a child with ADD just to get people's attention (especially girls) and then he'll often bring up awkward and bizarre conversations that no one really knows what he's talking about, but they like him cause they think he's weird and eccentric, but they have no idea he wants them to think that. Meanwhile I'm much more calm and reserved, although several girls have told me I'm really funny, and I get along well with pretty much everyone. But I have no actual female friends outside of school (where I have a few, but more just casual friends that I occasionally talk to sometimes).
Again, to people that don't know what jealousy is like, my entire post probably sounds like I'm a complete asshole, but... meh. Maybe I am, but that doesn't make me any less jealous. I wish I wasn't a jealous person, because he is genuinely my friend, but it's just so hard to listen to him talking endlessly about how many female friends he has that are interesting in ALL the stuff he is, which is also all the stuff I'm interested in, but I have... well, no one. It isn't because I'm rude or negative or anything like that in real life, I genuinely am not, but I just have no idea what's going on. Maybe he's just way luckier, or maybe I'm destined to not have female friends that share the same interests I do.