I'm giving myself one month

[xXoblivionXx]

I've thought about suicide almost everyday since my last attempt and it's been really hard getting through the day. I'm on meds, I go to therapy, I exercise. I feel like I've tried everything and even my therapist admits that I've tried many things and none have really worked for me. I don't want to do the unforgivable if I haven't tried everything possible.

I'm going to have to live with this depression forever. I don't want to live not knowing how to deal with it. I dont' want to stay alive but be dead on the inside.

So I'm going to give myself one more chance. One last hope. I'm going to try the whole spiritual thing. I don't want to make this about religion because it's not but it's just the last thing that I haven't really tried. maybe it will help. and if it doesn't change anything then I think I'm going to end my life.

I've tried everything and I'm basically out of options and out of strength. this is my last shot



NOTE TO THE MODS

I hope this post isn't breaking any VT rules in regards to suicide and what not. I'm sorry if it does.

[Microcosm]

xXoblivionXx,

You don't have to live knowing the answer to all of your problems. Some problems merely exist and there is nothing we can do about them, but it isn't worth giving away your entire life and potential for it. I'm glad you're trying to experiment with spirituality, but I don't think it's wise to bet life or death on it.

If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. Seriously I'd love to help you in any way that I can.

[Uranus]

I'm really sorry to hear this. I truly am. I know it's hard but please don't end it all.
If you can message me on the IM app we talk on. I'd like to talk to you and help if I can.

[xXoblivionXx]

To be honest, I don't think I'm going to make it through the month :( sorry guys :(

[KMoon]

Omg NEVER EVER think about that so negatively, a year ago I was completely depressed and considered committing suicide and now I am completely happy again!!! Never give up on yourself, I repeat, NEVER.
And if you think it isn't worth it, well IT IS WORTH IT!!! �� just look at the beautiful things in life and thank for your life and for the beautiful world you live in!!! ❤
Feel free to talk with me when you want to!
- Kaida ❤❤

[xXoblivionXx]

so it's been almost month...

I don't know what to think.. I'm not exactly suicidal but its an underlying tone in my emotions. it took about a month after my attempt to not feel suicidal. I kind of what to stay, I'm more hopeful for the future but the depression is still here and everyday it slows me down and reminds me that ultimately nothing really matters. it's hard to live with that mentality.

As for the spirituality, I need to work more on hit. I don't know how else to say it but even though this was out holy month.. I half assed it. I didn't really pray, I skipped some fasts, but there still is hope? even though my faith is at an all time low I still have hope? I don't know how but I do. and that hope is what I need to stay here

I'm going to tag the people that commented so they get the update.
Rainbow Dash Bright Nights KMoon

[CosmicNoodle]

Holly fucking hell how did I miss this thread for so long. :hug:

[SethfromMI]

so it's been almost month...

I don't know what to think.. I'm not exactly suicidal but its an underlying tone in my emotions. it took about a month after my attempt to not feel suicidal. I kind of what to stay, I'm more hopeful for the future but the depression is still here and everyday it slows me down and reminds me that ultimately nothing really matters. it's hard to live with that mentality.

As for the spirituality, I need to work more on hit. I don't know how else to say it but even though this was out holy month.. I half assed it. I didn't really pray, I skipped some fasts, but there still is hope? even though my faith is at an all time low I still have hope? I don't know how but I do. and that hope is what I need to stay here

I'm going to tag the people that commented so they get the update.
Rainbow Dash Bright Nights KMoon

it sounds like to me you are making great progress :). everyone is a work in progress. any step forward is a good one :)

[StoppingTom]

It's really good to hear you're making progress :D

I haven't been around nearly long enough to say I know anyone very well, but I really hope you stick to it and that hope of yours gets stronger and stronger.

[Hudor]

so it's been almost month...

I don't know what to think.. I'm not exactly suicidal but its an underlying tone in my emotions. it took about a month after my attempt to not feel suicidal. I kind of what to stay, I'm more hopeful for the future but the depression is still here and everyday it slows me down and reminds me that ultimately nothing really matters. it's hard to live with that mentality.

As for the spirituality, I need to work more on hit. I don't know how else to say it but even though this was out holy month.. I half assed it. I didn't really pray, I skipped some fasts, but there still is hope? even though my faith is at an all time low I still have hope? I don't know how but I do. and that hope is what I need to stay here

I'm going to tag the people that commented so they get the update.
Rainbow Dash Bright Nights KMoon

That's great. I'm happy you're making progress. I don't think it really matters if you've practiced every custom perfectly. In the end it's your faith that matters. As you said you still feel hope which is great. Just keep it alive :)
And if you feel like talking feel free to message me any time

[Atom]

I've tried everything and I'm basically out of options and out of strength.
Please excuse my ignorance, but may I ask, why are you depressed and are feeling this way? What's wrong? :(

[xXoblivionXx]

Please excuse my ignorance, but may I ask, why are you depressed and are feeling this way? What's wrong? :(

I don't know why I'm depressed. It's not that I had a hard life growing up or a traumatic experience. One day about 5 years ago, I realized that life isn't as nice as I thought. I noticed all the terrible things that happen in the world and how bad society has gotten. I guess this makes me sensitive but I don't know how to not feel all the hardship and pain.

[Arsnic]

I don't know why I'm depressed. It's not that I had a hard life growing up or a traumatic experience. One day about 5 years ago, I realized that life isn't as nice as I thought. I noticed all the terrible things that happen in the world and how bad society has gotten. I guess this makes me sensitive but I don't know how to not feel all the hardship and pain.

Hey there.
I haven't really gone through any depression, and for that, I consider you a very hardy person.
I had a realization like yours awhile ago as well, though I took it differently.
My thoughts are that life is here to be lived to the best of a person's abilities, through the hard parts.

However, as we all know, everybody is different.

I wish you luck, though! Things like that are hard to live through, I would try to find the high note in it, if I were you! :)

[Tesserax]

Man listen, you listen CLOSE okay? Tell me, if you give up, what chance do you have of getting better? Nothing. If you keep going, do you have a chance? Even if it's the slightest, tiniest chance, it's still there, it still exists and it's worth going for. I've come close myself and let me tell you this, every time I remind myself that I have to keep going, because if I don't I can't see what might have happened if I kept on going. You have so much ahead of you, we all do, some are too afraid of the near future to bear it, and it's unfortunate that it may come to that, but know that if you just fight, and you keep fighting, eventually everything will work out. Just keep going, if not for yourself or family, do it for us, on VT, we don't want to lose you, every member is valuable here <3