Alone

[Konoplian]

I'm a 16 year old guy who has been through a lot. I've been to a mental hospital twice, been disowned by my dad, had countless therapists that couldn't help me, been sexually assaulted, have attempted suicide, had two near death experiences, had several failed relationships, and at this point, I don't think I even have any emotion left. I'm in a relationship, but she's always busy, so we can't talk or hang out. My friends never include me or want to hang out anymore. I spend most of my time alone in my room, many times just contemplating suicide.

[Unlucky]

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[TheGentleHerbivore]

There are lost of ppl going through similar things that you are. You're not as alone as u think.

[Tesserax]

Okay, first up, I've been close to the end myself, but don't give up. Always keep going, just remember this: Bad chances are better than no chances. If you die now, you have 0 chance of recovering, but if you keep going, even if there's a one in a million chance you'll get better, that's better than nothing at all.

Okay, now to the help part. Tell them. Tell your friends "Hey guys, I feel like you're excluding me, and I don't like it". If they don't care, get new friends, they aren't good ones. Secondly, tell your girlfriend. Tell her you feel alone, and when you feel alone you feel suicidal. Tell her that you need her and you love her (if you truly do, which I do NOT doubt a bit). If she is meant for you, if she is good for you she will try her best to make more time for you, to help you with this. And most importantly, make sure she knows it's depression. If she brushes it off, then you have to end it, I'm sorry.

What I'm trying to get at is to communicate. I found that the hardest thing to do is try and lift yourself up and do it 100% on your own. You have to talk to others which is much easier to do, and make them make you get better. I had a cutting problem, not as bad as some but still a problem, and I made a pact with somebody over VT, a pact that bound us in action, if one gives up so does the other, and it really helped me to stop.

If you ever feel alone again, feel free to message and add me, I'd be glad to help. Mind you, I'm 16 as well, I live in Australia and our timetables may not match up, so give me a couple of days to respond (I should almost certainly respond always within 3 days, and if I'm not responding within a week I might be on holidays, so check my diary and I might have posted something about that). Anyway, good luck, you'll get better, and I know I'm just saying this, but things will get better, experience dictates that this is a fact as long as you do NOT give up