Forum game: Define it! Debate it! (feedback debate from girls)

[Uniquemind]

So this question is mainly aimed toward girls, but guys may answer if they have something to add to the debate.

Facts this thread is accepting: Looks/Physical Beauty matters to both genders.


Issue: It is often claimed (due to political correctness?) personality matters more for a relationship, than physical looks. The problem with this claim is that guys will counter that girls don't seem to give guys a chance to get to know their personality in the first place, to even create attraction that will earn a "yes" I'll try a date with you to see where this goes.

Thus we arrive at a paradox.

Either this means looks earned that "no" response and not personality because you didn't even necessarily get to know them in a dating context to begin with or it means their was a way you were reading their personality before they even asked you out that you judged against for a reply.




Which do you think is really happening, or if you think the definitions of this segment of "Define it and Debate it" is unfair please explain in detail why the above scenario plays out as much as it does.


Also does this mean that looks being a higher tier priority in who gets "yes" and who gets "no", mean that looks/physical beauty actually is more important that the personality?



This scenario has been the foundation of many novels and "seduction-dating culture" theories from various pickup-artists aimed toward guys on how to develop behavior patterns that are more likely to get a guy successful with a "yes" date and perhaps even sex (but not guaranteed).

[skittle]

I think that a person's personality is definitely the most important factor in maintaining a relationship with said person, but before you can get to know someone, everyone goes through that "first impression" stage.

I know that in my personal opinion, whether or not I want to date someone is based mainly off of their personality. But in order to also have a sexual relationship with someone, I know that I need to be physically attracted to them, at least to a certain degree. Physical attraction (and what creates it) varies from person to person. If I'm not the least bit physically attracted to someone, even if I know them and love their personality, I'm always going to consider them as just a friend. I've been in that situation before, and I really tried to make things work but couldn't.

Point being, no I do not think that looks are more important than personality. But I think that having a first impression is natural, and from that first impression things can go either way. Also, it is worth nothing that everyone has different opinions on what constitutes "attractive", and physical attraction can be based off of more than just aesthetics.

[Uniquemind]

I think that a person's personality is definitely the most important factor in maintaining a relationship with said person, but before you can get to know someone, everyone goes through that "first impression" stage.

I know that in my personal opinion, whether or not I want to date someone is based mainly off of their personality. But in order to also have a sexual relationship with someone, I know that I need to be physically attracted to them, at least to a certain degree. Physical attraction (and what creates it) varies from person to person. If I'm not the least bit physically attracted to someone, even if I know them and love their personality, I'm always going to consider them as just a friend. I've been in that situation before, and I really tried to make things work but couldn't.

Point being, no I do not think that looks are more important than personality. But I think that having a first impression is natural, and from that first impression things can go either way. Also, it is worth nothing that everyone has different opinions on what constitutes "attractive", and physical attraction can be based off of more than just aesthetics.


So do you think that means pickup-artist community is onto something then?

Do you think they're is a formula to trigger attraction based on certain behaviors and body language during that first impression stage so that one's personality can then have a chance to maintain a relationship?

[skittle]

So do you think that means pickup-artist community is onto something then?

Do you think they're is a formula to trigger attraction based on certain behaviors and body language during that first impression stage so that one's personality can then have a chance to maintain a relationship?
I'm not sure I understood the "pickup-artist" part of your post...

I think that there are definitely ways to trigger attraction, but as I said everyone has different preferences when it comes to attraction. These means could be anything from the way you dress, what it is that you're doing, your body language, the way you interact with people, etc. That being said, I don't think a universal formula can exist.

[Uniquemind]

I'm not sure I understood the "pickup-artist" part of your post...

I think that there are definitely ways to trigger attraction, but as I said everyone has different preferences when it comes to attraction. These means could be anything from the way you dress, what it is that you're doing, your body language, the way you interact with people, etc. That being said, I don't think a universal formula can exist.

There is a sub-culture, usually aimed at guys, involving books aimed at dating, flirting, how to tweak non-verbal body language, and a guy's frame of mine involving their self-worth, that mirrors or explains why some guys have more success with girls than others.

It suggests there's no flawless method, but certainly a way to raise success rates.


Almost universally though introverts have a higher failure rate than those who are optimistic about life, and are extroverts.

The ability to be witty and sarcastic is almost a must.


So that's what I meant.


Books like "The Game" are an example of this and the advice they give.

[Uniquemind]

Bumping for other replies