Do you lose ur Virgin when....

[JasonChoo99]

Do you lose your virginity when masturbating with a friend ? Does it count when you lose ur virginity by
Giving handjob : ?
Giving blowjob : ?
Masturbating each other penis or vagina : ?
Lick or kiss their body : ?
Kiss their penis or vagina : ?

[mrjc]

losing your virginity means full sex, masturbating and bj don't count

[Pat the Bunny]

Most of the time with losing your virginity people mean either vaginal or anal sex, though you're free to have your own ideas about what losing your virginity means

[janiceturner]

Traditionally virginity is only lost when the man's penis has penetrated a vagina, but it's a bit of a grey area now with things like homosexuality and sex changes... I guess it's more of a subjective thing?

If you're a gay man, you could argue anal sex with your partner would count as losing your virginity because men don't have vaginas to lose it to.

Mutual masturbation, kissing and oral sex don't really count because it's not sex organ to sex organ.

[ClaraWho]

Virginity is a nonsensical, heteronormative misnomer that is an archaic and lazy definition for having 'penetrative sex for the first time'.

I really wish people would;
A) Stop placing having sex as a milestone/goal post
B) Come up with a far more appropriate name for it at least if they won't do A.

For example, if we look at the comment above, two women married to one another in a loving devoted relationship who have sex, will always remain virgins. Yet common sense would dictate that either A) the term is outdated and/or B) is meaningless in modern society, or C) Is a term reserved only for heterosexual couples.

~ Irritated Clara

[jssixna]

No. Oral, handjobs, kissing, & masturbation do not count. You can only lose your virginity through penetrative/anal sex arguably.
I am not sure how it would apply to lesbian women. You can argue that toys can count.

[Uniquemind]

I consider any sex act that has the ability to transfer an STD/STI and/or as losing your virginity.

[SethfromMI]

Most of the time with losing your virginity people mean either vaginal or anal sex, though you're free to have your own ideas about what losing your virginity means

this. in the end, I guess it is how one defines it, though certain acts are much more obvious than others

[Uniquemind]

this. in the end, I guess it is how one defines it, though certain acts are much more obvious than others

Seth what do you think about my personal definition of losing the V-card?

[SethfromMI]

I consider any sex act that has the ability to transfer an STD/STI and/or as losing your virginity.

well sexual acts could be passed by more than just penetration. and sex remains sex past losing your virginity. not the greatest definition of what sex is

[Uniquemind]

well sexual acts could be passed by more than just penetration. and sex remains sex past losing your virginity. not the greatest definition of what sex is

My definition of sex is more broad, because I care more about pragmatic reasons of why sexual loyalty to your partner is important (children that aren't yours, and STD/STI which is a health concern for all parties involved that CAN change your life permanently or even take it).

[Elysium]

Virginity is completely a social construct. You could really define it however you wanted to. And if you defined it as the first time you have sex, you could also redefine sex - does oral count? Anal? What if it's two females, or two males?

[mcloete]

I guess it is your own opinion that counts.

[sweettayla]

I regard losing it as the first time l actually had intercourse with a guy, though other posters raise some interesting points with regard to same sex couples. Maybe the definition of a virgin needs to be updated.

[WintersuN]

Loosing your virginity in my eyes and the classical sense would be either penetrating your partner's vagina or having your vagina penetrated by your partner's penis. That could extend to anal if you're without a shadow of a doubt a homosexual male, but for lesbians I'm not overly sure. It's a very interesting question, especially with the advent of many other forms of sex over time, as well as homosexuality. Perhaps the term 'virginity' does in fact need to be clarified.

[messipt]

Giving handjob : not really
Giving blowjob : nope
Masturbating each other penis or vagina : no
Lick or kiss their body : no
Kiss their penis or vagina : no

[Daily]

You gotta go full anal if you're gay.

[Zoom]

Do you lose your virginity when masturbating with a friend ? Does it count when you lose ur virginity by
Giving handjob : ?
Giving blowjob : ?
Masturbating each other penis or vagina : ?
Lick or kiss their body : ?
Kiss their penis or vagina : ?

If they did all count I would have lost it six times that night.

[auburn122002]

Do you lose your virginity when masturbating with a friend ? Does it count when you lose ur virginity by
Giving handjob : ? no
Giving blowjob : ? maybe
Masturbating each other penis or vagina : ? maybe
Lick or kiss their body : ? no
Kiss their penis or vagina : ? no

[lliam]

losing virginity means nothing to me. it isn't about acting physical, it's just a mental thing. And generally it is just about making sexual experiences with a partner.

[Henri-K]

I think only viginal and anal counts.

[shamrockgirl02]

Do you lose your virginity when masturbating with a friend ? no
Does it count when you lose ur virginity by
Giving handjob : ? no
Giving blowjob : ? no
Masturbating each other penis or vagina : ? maybe if it's 2 girls
Lick or kiss their body : ? see above
Kiss their penis or vagina : ? see above

[underwateruber]

In my opinion:
Do you lose your virginity when masturbating with a friend ? Does it count when you lose ur virginity by
Giving handjob : No
Giving blowjob :No
Masturbating each other penis or vagina : No
Lick or kiss their body : No
Kiss their penis or vagina : No

[kayla...]

Which leads to the question a few friends have asked me - if bating, sucking and licking don't take your virginity and are therefore not sex... if they do with a bro/sis is it then not incest and just playing if that's as far as it goes?

[everlong]

Usually, penetration means you lost your virginity.

[kayla...]

Just penetration or that and finishing too? A quick poke shouldn't count should it?

[masterofdisaster1997]

Do you lose your virginity when masturbating with a friend ? Does it count when you lose ur virginity by
Giving handjob : ?
Giving blowjob : ?
Masturbating each other penis or vagina : ?
Lick or kiss their body : ?
Kiss their penis or vagina : ?

Definition of virginity has evolved to match our more modern times. This is the definition from wikipedia:

QUOTE: "Virginity is the state of a person who has never engaged in sexual intercourse. There are cultural and religious traditions which place special value and significance on this state, especially in the case of unmarried females, associated with notions of personal purity, honor and worth.
Like chastity, the concept of virginity has traditionally involved sexual abstinence.

The concept of virginity usually involves moral or religious issues and can have consequences in terms of social status and in interpersonal relationships. Although virginity has social implications and had significant legal implications in some societies in the past, it has no legal consequences in most societies today.

The term virgin originally only referred to sexually inexperienced women, but has evolved to encompass a range of definitions, as found in traditional, modern, and ethical concepts. Heterosexual individuals may or may not consider loss of virginity to occur only through penile-vaginal penetration, while people of other sexual orientations often include oral sex, anal sex or mutual masturbation in their definitions of losing one's virginity."

Of course the definition will vary depending on where your from, your religious views and moral views etc. I think it's more of a personal definition and what you feel best fits your views.

Here is the link to the article (keep in mind that it's the internet so nothing is 100% accurate) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virginity

[Tyler97]

Penis in the vagina is the only way to lose your virginity. There are many other sexual activities, oral sex, anal sex, hand jobs, fingering, masturbating etc. but these don't make you lose your virginity.

[Sandybeaches]

to me losing virginity is actual penetration of a vagina..... but if its anal or any other way i think its a bit more confusing and i think its really up to how you feel about it

[Bull]

Do you lose your virginity when masturbating with a friend ? Does it count when you lose ur virginity by
Giving handjob : ?
Giving blowjob : ?
Masturbating each other penis or vagina : ?
Lick or kiss their body : ?
Kiss their penis or vagina : ?

No to all the above. I think most people identify a virgin as one who has not had intercourse.

[Andre 99]

5my thoughts arE that only vaginal and anal sex count as loosing your virginity

[nicole97]

I mean I consider it to be my first PIV experience and presume the same for other straight people (with same-sex couples, I don't have a standard lol). That being said I'm not going to dispute anyone who claims that they lost it before or claims that despite having had that experience still are virgins because they regret their first time (or worse, didn't have a say in it).

[Hermes]

Which leads to the question a few friends have asked me - if bating, sucking and licking don't take your virginity and are therefore not sex... if they do with a bro/sis is it then not incest and just playing if that's as far as it goes?

As a purely practical matter you could consider that the whole reason incest is taboo is because of the possibility of inbreeding which has the potential to result in unhealthy children.

if that's all you're interested in then these other types of sexual activity would be fine as they don't carry that risk. Whether that is legally acceptable where you live or acceptable to any religion you may hold is another matter. Additionally some may be concerned that if siblings readily engage in sexual behaviour they may cease to look for the same outside the family.

On the subject of such similar practical matters it is worth noting that the reason virginity was valued in a young woman about to marry was so that any children that were subsequently born would be known to be conceived with her husband. That also explains why the concept was of less concern with regard to males. If a guy, prior to marriage, had been dipping his wick elsewhere the woman he was marrying wouldn't find herself looking after the resulting child, or at least would not be tricked into doing so.

Now we have reliable contraception but a greater concern for STDs I think the usefulness of virginity as a concept has, maybe, passed.

...It's a very interesting question, especially with the advent of many other forms of sex over time, as well as homosexuality. Perhaps the term 'virginity' does in fact need to be clarified.

That's a slightly interesting term. I suspect the repertoire of sexual activity people engage in now is no broader than at any other time and that includes gay sex; it is more a case that people are more prepared to talk about such things. When gay sex was illegal it still happened but no-one would admit it.

This is another reason, though, that the usefulness of the concept has passed. It is hard to translate the fairly obvious "penis in vagina" definition of straight sex into gay or lesbian sex. Gay guys could claim anal sex as the exact equivalent but common to popular conception not all gay guys enjoy anal sex or see it as the ultimate prize. For lesbians would licking out count? What about use of a dildo (on your partner) or a strap-on? Again I suspect not every lesbian aspires to play the part of a man penetrating her partner.

I think if you want to reserve some sexual acts for someone you are in love with, and not just anyone who is prepared to try them, then it is entirely up to you which act or acts you consider to be reserved. if you have no such reservations and think first times are overrated then that's also fine as long as you don't later regret it.

[Anomaly]

It depends on how you look at it but I think it's full intercourse!

[SkyClad33605]

Virginity is a nonsensical, heteronormative misnomer that is an archaic and lazy definition for having 'penetrative sex for the first time'.

I really wish people would;
A) Stop placing having sex as a milestone/goal post
B) Come up with a far more appropriate name for it at least if they won't do A.

For example, if we look at the comment above, two women married to one another in a loving devoted relationship who have sex, will always remain virgins. Yet common sense would dictate that either A) the term is outdated and/or B) is meaningless in modern society, or C) Is a term reserved only for heterosexual couples.

~ Irritated Clara


I agree 100%! Why does not having sex HAVE a word but once you've had sex you are only the negative of that word and not a new word? You are either a virgin or a non-virgin. It's a ridiculous idea that's a hold over from when women were property.

[JonniCrash]

I guess it is your own opinion that counts.

Nowadays its become very subjective and open to your interpreation - some people would argue that anything that involves the term 'sex' counts as losing your virginity like oral, anal, vaginal etc. whereas I guess the more traditional view is that it would have to be penetrative sex to be considered as 'fully' losing your virginity.

This is one of those questions that don't have a real answer....

[canadienudist]

No you don't loose your virginity by masturbating or oral sex

[LITTLEANGEL19]

I am a virgin and proud to be :) X

[iChrisbtv96]

I would count it as If i have actually fucked a girl/guy. But I wouldnt really count blow jobs or hand jobs

[harristhetank]

I would say you lose your virginity when you have penetrative sex.

[Rubbish]

Do you lose your virginity when masturbating with a friend ? Does it count when you lose ur virginity by
Giving handjob : no
Giving blowjob : no
Masturbating each other penis or vagina : no
Lick or kiss their body : no
Kiss their penis or vagina : no