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VirtualLouie
June 6th, 2015, 04:13 PM
Hi there!

So, around two and a half months ago I met this person on Tinder - we spoke on there for a few days. He lives around ninety minutes away from me by train, which costs £12.60 one-way.

We met each other for the first time in Central London on a Saturday; I instantly knew that he was the right person for me. We got on very well, even though it was slightly awkward because I had never really been out in public with another guy before, so hugging and stuff was difficult for me as I still didn't feel comfortable with my sexuality at that time. On that day, he asked me if I wanted to date him - obviously I said yes; even though we had only met each other once, I knew that I wanted to spend a lot more time with him and experience life together. On that day, he rang his mum and asked her if I could stay around his house for a week the following week, as it was the Easter Holidays; she said yes! I was extremely surprised, but happy that I would be able to spend a whole week with him as we could get to know each other more and be more intimate.
Even though I liked the sound of staying around his house for a week, I felt extremely nervous asking my mother if it was okay because she didn't even know that I was gay. I was committed to trying to make me and him work, so I came out to my mother two days after meeting him - she took it extremely well, she said that she just wants me to happy. So once I came out, I asked her if I could stay around his house, once again, she agreed, however she said that she had to take me because "it's weird that I am staying around his house for a week after only meeting him once, and also from the internet". I was extremely nervous about meeting him again, and also his family - I was not used to going around someone's house as I have bad confidence problems and hate meeting and talking to new people.
All in all it went well; so well that I ended up staying for two weeks!

After that two weeks we regularly spoke by text and Skype - even though I missed him on the days that we were apart, I got through it.

Now... It has been two months since we met, and I am starting to get worried. We both dropped out of our exams because we felt like we were not going to do so well, and are both looking for an Apprenticeship. He has interviewed for a place at the Civil Service which pays great money, and is very likely to get the job as he said it went extremely well; he finds out whether he got the job later this month. And then there is me - tons of replies, however no confidence to go to the interviews, and have no direction or idea on what I want to do with my life, so even when I get replies to apprenticeships that I have applied for, I don't reply to the majority because I am too scared of change and have no idea what I want to do with my life. I really have no idea what to do with myself at this point - I am scared that when we both have apprenticeships we will hardly get to see each other, he has promised that we will see each other every weekend, or at least every other weekend, however I don't know if I will be able to stand being away from him for that long of a period. I am trying to hold off finding anything for as long as possible so I can spend as much time as possible with him, however, the inevitable is going to happen, where we can only see each other for small periods of times, with a lot larger intervals between the meetings as we have been doing for the last two months. He is basically the only thing in my life right now, and I am scared of my depression getting a lot worse if I can't see him on a regular basis.

I have probably missed out on a lot of details, I haven't even read over what I have said - Sorry for it being too long; I hope you can take the time to read it all.

Please reply with any suggestions or advice you could give me, or any details that you want to know.
Also, please do private message me if you want to chat with me, because I really want to talk to new people :D

Thank you!
Louie :cool:

Benelli
June 7th, 2015, 01:23 AM
Hi there!

So, around two and a half months ago I met this person on Tinder - we spoke on there for a few days. He lives around ninety minutes away from me by train, which costs £12.60 one-way.

We met each other for the first time in Central London on a Saturday; I instantly knew that he was the right person for me. We got on very well, even though it was slightly awkward because I had never really been out in public with another guy before, so hugging and stuff was difficult for me as I still didn't feel comfortable with my sexuality at that time. On that day, he asked me if I wanted to date him - obviously I said yes; even though we had only met each other once, I knew that I wanted to spend a lot more time with him and experience life together. On that day, he rang his mum and asked her if I could stay around his house for a week the following week, as it was the Easter Holidays; she said yes! I was extremely surprised, but happy that I would be able to spend a whole week with him as we could get to know each other more and be more intimate.
Even though I liked the sound of staying around his house for a week, I felt extremely nervous asking my mother if it was okay because she didn't even know that I was gay. I was committed to trying to make me and him work, so I came out to my mother two days after meeting him - she took it extremely well, she said that she just wants me to happy. So once I came out, I asked her if I could stay around his house, once again, she agreed, however she said that she had to take me because "it's weird that I am staying around his house for a week after only meeting him once, and also from the internet". I was extremely nervous about meeting him again, and also his family - I was not used to going around someone's house as I have bad confidence problems and hate meeting and talking to new people.
All in all it went well; so well that I ended up staying for two weeks!

After that two weeks we regularly spoke by text and Skype - even though I missed him on the days that we were apart, I got through it.

Now... It has been two months since we met, and I am starting to get worried. We both dropped out of our exams because we felt like we were not going to do so well, and are both looking for an Apprenticeship. He has interviewed for a place at the Civil Service which pays great money, and is very likely to get the job as he said it went extremely well; he finds out whether he got the job later this month. And then there is me - tons of replies, however no confidence to go to the interviews, and have no direction or idea on what I want to do with my life, so even when I get replies to apprenticeships that I have applied for, I don't reply to the majority because I am too scared of change and have no idea what I want to do with my life. I really have no idea what to do with myself at this point - I am scared that when we both have apprenticeships we will hardly get to see each other, he has promised that we will see each other every weekend, or at least every other weekend, however I don't know if I will be able to stand being away from him for that long of a period. I am trying to hold off finding anything for as long as possible so I can spend as much time as possible with him, however, the inevitable is going to happen, where we can only see each other for small periods of times, with a lot larger intervals between the meetings as we have been doing for the last two months. He is basically the only thing in my life right now, and I am scared of my depression getting a lot worse if I can't see him on a regular basis.

I have probably missed out on a lot of details, I haven't even read over what I have said - Sorry for it being too long; I hope you can take the time to read it all.

Please reply with any suggestions or advice you could give me, or any details that you want to know.
Also, please do private message me if you want to chat with me, because I really want to talk to new people :D

Thank you!
Louie :cool:

Louie,

Hello! I would like to start by saying that was a sweet story. Now, to get to your advice. Understandably, you two want to have as much time as possible together... But you can't let somebody hold you back. You will find your confidence to go and take the opportunities given to you! Your partner should understand! No, you might not get to see each other very often with the given circumstances, but with personal experience, I can tell you that someone who truly cares about you will make sure they have time for you. Even if it's a 5 minute phone call during a break, they will make time! And if it doesn't work, maybe wait until things calm down for both of you and give it another shot if you both agree to that! Either way, do what is best for YOU. You are the most important person in your life. Nobody else is a guarantee to stay, but you are stuck with yourself forever. So make the time you have with yourself a good one! Take risks, such as accepting your apprenticeships and working on your lives!

I hope this helped you a little!

VirtualLouie
June 7th, 2015, 08:06 AM
Louie,

Hello! I would like to start by saying that was a sweet story. Now, to get to your advice. Understandably, you two want to have as much time as possible together... But you can't let somebody hold you back. You will find your confidence to go and take the opportunities given to you! Your partner should understand! No, you might not get to see each other very often with the given circumstances, but with personal experience, I can tell you that someone who truly cares about you will make sure they have time for you. Even if it's a 5 minute phone call during a break, they will make time! And if it doesn't work, maybe wait until things calm down for both of you and give it another shot if you both agree to that! Either way, do what is best for YOU. You are the most important person in your life. Nobody else is a guarantee to stay, but you are stuck with yourself forever. So make the time you have with yourself a good one! Take risks, such as accepting your apprenticeships and working on your lives!

I hope this helped you a little!

Hey,
Thank you very much for that! Honestly, I would ratber make other people happy instead of making myself happy. I don't feel like I can ever be happy so I might as well try my hardest to please other people. My boyfriend hates that I do this, and I am trying my best to just be myself, but I feel like I am really annoying him because I am always in a bad mood and never want to do anything. E.g. Watch a film.
I am not sure what to do with myself at this point

Holmes
June 7th, 2015, 09:00 AM
You should just count yourself lucky for what you have. If your boyfriend really does love you then he will understand that you're in a bad mood and respect that just always make sure that you promise to put the time and love back in when he's going through rough times too.

VirtualLouie
June 7th, 2015, 03:06 PM
You should just count yourself lucky for what you have. If your boyfriend really does love you then he will understand that you're in a bad mood and respect that just always make sure that you promise to put the time and love back in when he's going through rough times too.
I know that I am lucky.
I am just worried that I am in a bad mood more often than I'm in a good mood. My boyfriend does understand, and always comforts me. I feel like I may be too much 'maintenance' though

MasterOfPuppets
June 7th, 2015, 04:29 PM
Hey, L.
The way I see it, you shouldn't build your life around someone else - you are 15, there is a whole world for you to discover new things. Being in love is great, but you are at the point in your life where mistakes can be easily made. Try focusing on your future first, get good education and find something you love to do. Is there something you enjoy doing aside from spending time with him? My point is - you are way too young to be depressed like that. I'm sure that your life wasn't easy, but you are in a pretty good place at the moment.

DoodleSnap
June 22nd, 2015, 03:35 PM
First off -
That is a really nice and uplifting story to read!
I am really glad that your mum was so accepting, and that you and your boyfriend are close.

I have found that the most important part of a relationship is communication and honesty.
I think that rather than working on issues with only half of the information on one's own, they could work it out with the other person, together with wider perspectives.
I think that the best thing to do right now is to speak to him, and tell him your worries and feelings. Don't let them go unspoken, and let him help you work through them.
Sure, a lot goes on at your age, and you might end up being busier, but don't worry about it all on your own: he is there to love and help you.
Next up, try to work out what you would really like in life, and work towards that. Think it through, don't rush, and find out where you would like to work and live and whatnot.
It is important that you don't limit and give up yourself selflessly for someone else, be your own person and do your own things too. It will take some time, but rome wasn't build in a day. Chill out, relax, and realise that you are with a beautiful, loving person that you can be totally honest with and speak to any time.
I hope all goes well, and good luck.