May Have Asked This Already But I Need An Answer

[Dogrules23]

I find a girl attractive and I want to get to know her but whenever I think about talking to her, I feel sick. It's very weird and happens whenever I want to talk to a girl I find attractive. I've always had this problem and can't find a way to fix it and it's making life hard. Any tips?

[Bmble_B]

It's called nervousness man. The only tip I can give you is to remember that any girl you try to talk to is a regular human being just like you. Don't let the fear of rejection bring you down, don't second-guess yourself just go for it and see how it goes :D

[Dogrules23]

It's called nervousness man. The only tip I can give you is to remember that any girl you try to talk to is a regular human being just like you. Don't let the fear of rejection bring you down, don't second-guess yourself just go for it and see how it goes :D

I think that the main problem is that any girl I like is always with friends so I don't have a chance to get her on her own and ask. I don't really want to ask some of the more popular ones in front of their friends because a lot of the popular girls in my grade don't like me at all for some reason.

[Bmble_B]

I think that the main problem is that any girl I like is always with friends so I don't have a chance to get her on her own and ask. I don't really want to ask some of the more popular ones in front of their friends because a lot of the popular girls in my grade don't like me at all for some reason.

Hm that is a problem. Even with her friends around try to get to know your girl of interest a little bit better. Don't pay attention to the condescending popular girls at your school, just try to focus on your goal :)

[Dogrules23]

Hm that is a problem. Even with her friends around try to get to know your girl of interest a little bit better. Don't pay attention to the condescending popular girls at your school, just try to focus on your goal :)

Believe it or not, this is actually helping with my anxiety about the whole idea.

[PsychoticReality]

You're probably anxious and so your nerves are unsettled. I think if you're having issues approaching her beside friends, employ a friend of yours to maybe distract the others or bring her to a place you can talk to her alone. When alone, be yourself. Get talking, if you don't feel ready to come out with it, don't, ease yourself into it and maybe get to know her more? :)

[Dogrules23]

You're probably anxious and so your nerves are unsettled. I think if you're having issues approaching her beside friends, employ a friend of yours to maybe distract the others or bring her to a place you can talk to her alone. When alone, be yourself. Get talking, if you don't feel ready to come out with it, don't, ease yourself into it and maybe get to know her more? :)

That my work except for one problem, my friends are a lot like me and are nervous around the same people because of their status.

[PsychoticReality]

Then the issue that has to be addressed before you go any further is your self-confidence, you are just like everyone else my friend. You shouldn't be intimidated by another human, now I know this is easier said than done but no-one should have anything on you. You are just as relevant and important as they are, their status doesn't matter.

"If you fake confidence, those around you will believe it and sooner or later, you'll realise you're not faking it any more."

This advice really worked for me and so I am passing it on. I wish you the best of luck, keep us updated!

[Dogrules23]

Then the issue that has to be addressed before you go any further is your self-confidence, you are just like everyone else my friend. You shouldn't be intimidated by another human, now I know this is easier said than done but no-one should have anything on you. You are just as relevant and important as they are, their status doesn't matter.

"If you fake confidence, those around you will believe it and sooner or later, you'll realise you're not faking it any more."

This advice really worked for me and so I am passing it on. I wish you the best of luck, keep us updated!

That quote is really awesome! I will keep you guys updated!

[Dogrules23]

A friend is introducing me to her tomorrow. He is in a relationship with a friend of her's and knows her well I guess. I'm looking forward to that and I'll let you guys know how it goes!

[Uniquemind]

A friend is introducing me to her tomorrow. He is in a relationship with a friend of her's and knows her well I guess. I'm looking forward to that and I'll let you guys know how it goes!

Group dates and using your social network. That's the way to do it!

[Dogrules23]

Well, the introduction didn't happen today due to finals. I went through the day disappointed that it didn't happen. Just a few minutes ago I was talking to my friend about it and he said that his girlfriend said that the girl I like didn't like me. Now I'm sad, if it's true that is.

[Uniquemind]

Well, the introduction didn't happen today due to finals. I went through the day disappointed that it didn't happen. Just a few minutes ago I was talking to my friend about it and he said that his girlfriend said that the girl I like didn't like me. Now I'm sad, if it's true that is.

Might be rue. If it is go mourn for a bit, and then bounce back fast and resiliently.

Resilience in of itself is a very attractive quality to embrace in life, and also take rejection as a humbling experience if you ever have to do the rejection at some point.


Best thing you can do is find another girl, or/and build yourself up as an individual, and spend time making money.

Money isn't all important thing, but it is very important for dating and flirting and maintaining a relationship.

[Dogrules23]

Girls like $$, that's what I've learned about being in a relationship as an adult.

[Uniquemind]

Girls like $$, that's what I've learned about being in a relationship as an adult.

Correction People like money.

But the quality person you attract with money alone is questionable.


Never get your genitals to think for you. When you date keeping a strong sense of objectivity (like a machine with rating criteria) is hugely important to prevent yourself from getting hurt.

Those who only follow passions are the same people who need to write breakup songs and might have emotional mental scars and baggage to carry into the next relationship, which can then cause a spiraling effect.

The best dating mindset is to be light-hearted but also know when to be serious. (clarification: lighthearted does not mean carefree)

[Dogrules23]

Correction People like money.

But the quality person you attract with money alone is questionable.


Never get your genitals to think for you. When you date keeping a strong sense of objectivity (like a machine with rating criteria) is hugely important to prevent yourself from getting hurt.

Those who only follow passions are the same people who need to write breakup songs and might have emotional mental scars and baggage to carry into the next relationship, which can then cause a spiraling effect.

The best dating mindset is to be light-hearted but also know when to be serious. (clarification: lighthearted does not mean carefree)

I know that stuff, the problem I have is starting a single relationship, I had one that ended over 6 years ago but even then it wasn't me who started the relationship. A friend helped me, I've been rejected so many times since via email and friends asking for me that I've pretty much given up.

[Uniquemind]

I know that stuff, the problem I have is starting a single relationship, I had one that ended over 6 years ago but even then it wasn't me who started the relationship. A friend helped me, I've been rejected so many times since via email and friends asking for me that I've pretty much given up.

Yeah no you can't give up.

But take some time off and focus on enriching your life in a non-romantic and sexual way.



Also some of this could be hormones and general horniness.

If it's legal, perhaps prostitution is something you might want to get services from to help build confidence around beautiful women.

Masturbation is also a good tool, and see if that helps take the edge of desperation off.

[Dogrules23]

Yeah no you can't give up.

But take some time off and focus on enriching your life in a non-romantic and sexual way.



Also some of this could be hormones and general horniness.

If it's legal, perhaps prostitution is something you might want to get services from to help build confidence around beautiful women.

Masturbation is also a good tool, and see if that helps take the edge of desperation off.

I just want a relationship with someone who will understand me, love me for who I am, and just want to be like a really good friend.

Your second set of points are not at all what I was looking for when posting this.

[Uniquemind]

I just want a relationship with someone who will understand me, love me for who I am, and just want to be like a really good friend.

Your second set of points are not at all what I was looking for when posting this.

Okay then ignore the last part of my last comment. I just gave broad advice to cover all the bases.


Focus on just just living life as a successful bachelor. If you pine too much for a relationship, I've noticed it tend to affect your behavior in just how you socialize.

If you get depressed about failure and rejection it'll begin to work against you and women tend to pick up on that, for lack of a better word, resentment.

[Dogrules23]

It may be too late for me then…

[Uniquemind]

It may be too late for me then…

It's never too late.

But you are wasting time, if you grieve for too long.

Life is a gift, enjoy it, explore meet more and more people and pursue more and more people you are attracted to and you'll get a hit eventually.

But also be as creative as possible don't just walk up to random girls and say "hey your hot go out with me?" it is a bit of a social dance than that.

[Dogrules23]

Still nothing by the way.

[Dogrules23]

It's never too late.

But you are wasting time, if you grieve for too long.

Life is a gift, enjoy it, explore meet more and more people and pursue more and more people you are attracted to and you'll get a hit eventually.

But also be as creative as possible don't just walk up to random girls and say "hey your hot go out with me?" it is a bit of a social dance than that.

I emailed the one girl and asked if we can be friends, haven't gotten a reply yet though.

[Uniquemind]

I emailed the one girl and asked if we can be friends, haven't gotten a reply yet though.

Beware she may read into what you've said, and assume you are simply trying to reposition yourself to just pester her or ask her out again later.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is really just respect the answer you're given, and then just be as tempting a human specimen as you can make yourself irrespective of whether you get the girl in question or not.


Be awesome, open, kind and sarcastically witty and observant.

All those qualities will serve you well in life, in almost all respects.

[Dogrules23]

Beware she may read into what you've said, and assume you are simply trying to reposition yourself to just pester her or ask her out again later.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is really just respect the answer you're given, and then just be as tempting a human specimen as you can make yourself irrespective of whether you get the girl in question or not.


Be awesome, open, kind and sarcastically witty and observant.

All those qualities will serve you well in life, in almost all respects.

I made my best attempt to sound like I just wanted to be friends. I've been told that this person has anxiety attacks when shown affection so I just want to be friends with her so I can learn more about this and avoid things that set her off. I also figure that if I become her friend then someday she may ask me out. Who knows?

[DoodleSnap]

It happens to a lot of teenagers when they feel nervous, don't worry about it!
If you are going into a situation where you want to talk to a girl, don't over analyse too much. Just keep cool, and make the situation casual. Think through it logically; they are just saying hi to you and having a casual conversation, they won't be analysing and nit-picking you. Just think about how casual you are when talking to other people, and realise that they feel the same way. Make the situation casual and she will take it as such.
Finally, try finding a quiet space beforehand to stand out big: legs wide apart, and hands high and wide - like a starfish. Also try wiggling your toes and fingers, which cuts down on adrenaline.
Anyway, good luck!