Lost My Friends

[FallingAngel]

Hi fellow teens,
I don't mean to sound pathetic or weak but I don't know where else to go for some advice. People keep trying to give me advice but it's not helping much. I'm not a very social person, never have been, but I managed to make three great friends two years ago. One was my age the other two were younger. But these past months all three of them have decided they hate me. I know hate is a strong word but I'm not exaggerating.
One of them had me threatened with disciplinary action at school for bullying her, although I had not talked to her for months. She accused me of verbally bullying her, which was not true, and had me sent from counselor to counselor for weeks until everyone realized she was lying.
Another one just stopped acknowledging me completely, and tried to get others to ignore me also. When I confronted her about it she told me that it was just better for both of us if she ignored me and that she understood why no one liked me.
My third, and closest friend, told me that he never liked being around me and that I caused him too much anxiety and I was just annoying. He said he's much happier without me their and he's actually popular without me around. This was someone who had told me they loved me and promised that he was my best friend.
People(teachers, family, etc) keep telling me I'm better off but I don't feel like it.I have no one I trust nearly as much as I did them now and I don't know how to trust people anymore. I feel like I want to just dissolve into nothing, it hurts so much to lose all three of them in less than a year, and not understand why all of them hate me so much. Can anyone give me advice on how to cope and not burst into tears or anxiety every time I see something that reminds me of them?

[MasterOfPuppets]

You shouldn't feel bad for losing them, since they were never your friends in the first place. The way I see it, you could use some time alone to focus on things you like and just enjoy yourself. Once you are ready, try finding new friends outside of school - do you have any hobbies? Try joining some clubs at school. You'll find people that have similar interests.

[jssixna]

They weren't worth your time. Not a true friend. True friends have your back and stick by your side. Join extracurricular activities or outside of school activities like joining a sport, piano lessons, art class, etc. good luck!

[Airrd]

I definitely agree with what the other two said about joining a club. I know that personally when I started at my school I didn't know anyone and I felt so alone. I had some friends from highschool, but we didn't talk as much and the one girl who I used to be best friends with yelled at me after I posted something about race struggles on facebook and she unfriended me. That was really a surprise to me, but I realized it was best to move on and I joined some clubs and met some of my best friends that I have had for 2+ years now

[Trickythetiger]

I know it's hard for you. I've been in similar situations where "friends" purposely excluded me, or talked about me behind my back. Once I was gone. They joined the big bully group that was totally against me and I had no idea why? Well my point is, you need to move on and I know it hurts to lose someone you thought was so close to you, but it may be for the best. :/ They aren't friends if they're turning you away.

If you haven't tried yet, try asking them why they just suddenly dislike you or don't want to talk to you? Could it be that their other friends dislike you and your current "friends" are influenced by them?

[Uniquemind]

Doesn't sound like they were your friends early on either and might have been only politely tolerating you until they snapped.


But this is a good time to be more self-reflective about what you want out of life and what personalities you want in those you want to be friends with.

You also need to figure out if perhaps you genuinely did something to destroy past friendships that you need to not do in the future.


Sometimes if you are a judgmental person or if you ask too many favors or are too combative argumentatively with friends that can break a friendship and over time you might be annoying them.

This also a doubles down on being a good listener to friend's problems rather than you relying on them all the time.

--

I don't know enough about you to say what caused you to lose these 3 friends in particular, but you should look at yourself honestly and move from there.

[Hey_123]

I'm sorry for you. I agree with everyone else try to join an extracurricular activity or club.