What to do?

[Nirak]

So firts of all sorry for my bad english, it's not my first language and i'm tired right now...

So I started writing with this guy a while ago. He is wonderful! Very sweet, allways gives me compliments, he is funny and we like the same things(books,movies,music...) We started writing online and I found out he lives in Canada...and I live in Sweden. So I relised right away that it would NEVER be anything between us. But it was nice to have sombody who cares about you that you could talk to about everything. He was the one person I felt like I could talk about everything with. I guess we kinda wrote to eachother like a couple would write, we said we loved eachother many times and talked about how it would be when we got to meet eachother. Becuase we promised eachother that someday we would meet.

So time went we continued writing. But then just now I noticed that he stopped writing to me. I just assumed he had much in school or at home so it didnt bother me that much. But today I decided to write to him and this was basicly our conversation:
Me:Hi!
Him:Hey
Me:What's up?
Him:Nothing eating lunch,you?
Me:On my way home from the cinema.

And then nothing, I could se that he saw it. I taught it was wierd since he always answers even when I'm just sending like a smiley. But I dropped it and tried to start a conversation becuase honestly I have missed him and wanted to talk.

Me:So guess what!
Him:what
Me:It's my birthday today :)
Him:OMG,Happy birthday!!
Him:So I have somthing I need to tell you to
Me:ok,what?
Him:I'm in a relationship now
Me:okey nice
Him: yeah

I allredy had a bad fealing when he said that he had something to tell me but now I get why he havent written to me. I get thet we could never have been a couple and I told myself all the time to not let myself get fealings for him but he is like the first guy who have been that sweet to me.

The thing is I dont want to lose him as a friend, he means way to much for me. He is the only one I have been abel to talk about everything with and he made me feel important and beutiful even when I felt like shit.

I hate myself that I have gotten fealings for him and I want to be happy for him but I just can't. And I guess that this means he dont want to write with me anymore but I dont wanna lose him! I kinda want to write to him and ask what this means, if wwe cant even be friends anymore. But that feels weird since there never was anything real between uss. I'm just to scared to write and ask him.

I'm not mad at him, not at all. I relaize that it could never be anything between us becuase of the distant but I could not stop myself from dreaming. I dont know what I would do if I lost him but at the same time it feels like it would be a it akward if I would just continue to write now after that. So please what should I do?

Again sorry for the bad english and messy text, I'm just way to tired and sad and angry at myself to even care right now.

[James Dean]

Welcome to VT. :)

Your English is fine, it's ok.

I know you feel upset about this, but you have to understand the situation. From the beginning, not only was this only an online friendship, but it was a long distance friendship. Two things that could make the relationship between you two, that much harder for you to keep in contact. It isn't just you, there are many people who develop close connections and friendships over the internet, but most of the time it doesn't work out due to communication issues.

I see that you developed some type of crush on him, and you have accepted that because he is in a relationship, this is causing stress for you. At this time, you need to make a choice for yourself. Not everyday, but maybe once a week or so, keep in contact with him and tell him hello and just have light conversation with him. If it gets too uncomfortable for you, if it gets to uncomfortable for him, or if the both of you start to struggle with conversation, then it's best to give it a break and not involve yourself with that.

You have never met him in real life, so please don't take it too tough. You are young and you will meet lots of people. I'm sure you will find friends both online and in real life and I hope the best for you. Whether or not you keep in contact with this guy, I don't want to to feel hopeless. Do what makes you happy, and try not to get too depressed over it. :)

[mrjc]

sorry but if he is not wanting to be friends then there's not a lot you can do, find another close friend to talk to

[SethfromMI]

Welcome to VT. :)

Your English is fine, it's ok.

I know you feel upset about this, but you have to understand the situation. From the beginning, not only was this only an online friendship, but it was a long distance friendship. Two things that could make the relationship between you two, that much harder for you to keep in contact. It isn't just you, there are many people who develop close connections and friendships over the internet, but most of the time it doesn't work out due to communication issues.

I see that you developed some type of crush on him, and you have accepted that because he is in a relationship, this is causing stress for you. At this time, you need to make a choice for yourself. Not everyday, but maybe once a week or so, keep in contact with him and tell him hello and just have light conversation with him. If it gets too uncomfortable for you, if it gets to uncomfortable for him, or if the both of you start to struggle with conversation, then it's best to give it a break and not involve yourself with that.

You have never met him in real life, so please don't take it too tough. You are young and you will meet lots of people. I'm sure you will find friends both online and in real life and I hope the best for you. Whether or not you keep in contact with this guy, I don't want to to feel hopeless. Do what makes you happy, and try not to get too depressed over it. :)

this is fantastic advice. unfortunately it is very hard to make long-distance relationships work, even more so when you never met in person. It can work, I know some it does work out great, but it is hard. try to accept he is in a relationship and understand since he is in one, he may not talk as often. I guess time well tell if the two of you are still going to be friends or not

[Straya]

So firts of all sorry for my bad english, it's not my first language and i'm tired right now...

So I started writing with this guy a while ago. He is wonderful! Very sweet, allways gives me compliments, he is funny and we like the same things(books,movies,music...) We started writing online and I found out he lives in Canada...and I live in Sweden. So I relised right away that it would NEVER be anything between us. But it was nice to have sombody who cares about you that you could talk to about everything. He was the one person I felt like I could talk about everything with. I guess we kinda wrote to eachother like a couple would write, we said we loved eachother many times and talked about how it would be when we got to meet eachother. Becuase we promised eachother that someday we would meet.

So time went we continued writing. But then just now I noticed that he stopped writing to me. I just assumed he had much in school or at home so it didnt bother me that much. But today I decided to write to him and this was basicly our conversation:
Me:Hi!
Him:Hey
Me:What's up?
Him:Nothing eating lunch,you?
Me:On my way home from the cinema.

And then nothing, I could se that he saw it. I taught it was wierd since he always answers even when I'm just sending like a smiley. But I dropped it and tried to start a conversation becuase honestly I have missed him and wanted to talk.

Me:So guess what!
Him:what
Me:It's my birthday today :)
Him:OMG,Happy birthday!!
Him:So I have somthing I need to tell you to
Me:ok,what?
Him:I'm in a relationship now
Me:okey nice
Him: yeah

I allredy had a bad fealing when he said that he had something to tell me but now I get why he havent written to me. I get thet we could never have been a couple and I told myself all the time to not let myself get fealings for him but he is like the first guy who have been that sweet to me.

The thing is I dont want to lose him as a friend, he means way to much for me. He is the only one I have been abel to talk about everything with and he made me feel important and beutiful even when I felt like shit.

I hate myself that I have gotten fealings for him and I want to be happy for him but I just can't. And I guess that this means he dont want to write with me anymore but I dont wanna lose him! I kinda want to write to him and ask what this means, if wwe cant even be friends anymore. But that feels weird since there never was anything real between uss. I'm just to scared to write and ask him.

I'm not mad at him, not at all. I relaize that it could never be anything between us becuase of the distant but I could not stop myself from dreaming. I dont know what I would do if I lost him but at the same time it feels like it would be a it akward if I would just continue to write now after that. So please what should I do?

Again sorry for the bad english and messy text, I'm just way to tired and sad and angry at myself to even care right now.

sorry but if he is not wanting to be friends then there's not a lot you can do, find another close friend to talk to

i agree with josh if hes not interested in keeping the friendship going then theres not much you can do. id cut my loses if i was you and spend the energy finding a new friend

[Jaffe]

I can't imagine even getting into such a serious friendship. I can hardly keep friendships with people in real life, never can make a relationship work. Online would be like impossible.

So I respect that you were even able to be friends with him, and talk as much as you did and as deep as you did.

You knew all along it would never go anywhere, because it was online and long distance. But it sounds like he didnt think the same way. Or maybe his new crush didnt think it. Why an online friendship would make someone insecure or jealous I don't understand, but I know it happens.

Straya is right, use the energy to build a new friendship.