I'm afraid I got a friend in trouble

[Dalcourt]

I have a classmate and friend who is gay or bi not sure but closeted and nobody knew about his sexuality.
Now we were at a party and he got himself drunk, not too bad but enough to do stupid things.
He made out with me ... we had kissed and stuff before but secretly and nobody knew or saw...and well we were busted. Someone saw us and they even made pics.
So everyone knows about his kissing other guys...
I feel guilty ...I should have stopped him. He hasn't talked to me since...and I dunno what to say. People at school tease him, laugh and call him names and stuff...what if teachers and his parents find out now?

I kinda feel he blames me and I blame myself, too. I never should have done that...I didn't even want to why didn't I make
I'm at a loss on how to fix this now... I don't want him to het in trouble and I don't want half the school to mock him.

Any ideas on how to talk to him or do anything about our mates?
I'm sure his parents will freak out if they ever see the pics the others took.

[James Dean]

First of all, I would apologize to him if you haven't already. If you can't physically talk to him, write him a note saying that you're sorry.

I would then probably accept the consequences. With every action, there is a reaction. You knew he was drunk, so he had no control over his actions. You took advantage of him, regardless if he went along with it.

Did you mean any harm? No, I don't think you did. However, I would still apologize to him. I'm not sure how your friendship will turn out, but at least you apologized, so you accepted that you feel bad about the situation, and if you could do it over, you would have reacted differently.

As far as teasing and name calling at school, if it is directed to you, him, or both of you, I would probably talk to any of the school staff.

I mean you could ignore it, and maybe stand up for yourself to them, and joke about it or say, "I don't know what you're talking about", or "And? So what, mind your business", but that could lead to problems. But it might prove a point.

If any of you are being bullied, which is different from teasing, then you should probably tell school staff. If you tell them that you don't want you parents to know you are gay, they won't tell them.

Another thing, if he is closeted, I don't think he told his parents this story. So you shouldn't worry about that.

:)

[mrjc]

its not your fault mate, he wanted it as much as you and someone taking pics isn't your fault either. if he is gay or bi then that's up to him to confront and same goes to you. talk to him, help him help each other

[Uniquemind]

If you have secrets, don't drink, and don't take drugs.

This unfortunately is a failing of his, but you are to blame if you took advantage of him, and just do as others suggest, and apologize, and he has to deal with the rest of the consequences.


Shame on everyone else teasing him, he needs to bite back.

[Straya]

I have a classmate and friend who is gay or bi not sure but closeted and nobody knew about his sexuality.
Now we were at a party and he got himself drunk, not too bad but enough to do stupid things.
He made out with me ... we had kissed and stuff before but secretly and nobody knew or saw...and well we were busted. Someone saw us and they even made pics.
So everyone knows about his kissing other guys...
I feel guilty ...I should have stopped him. He hasn't talked to me since...and I dunno what to say. People at school tease him, laugh and call him names and stuff...what if teachers and his parents find out now?

I kinda feel he blames me and I blame myself, too. I never should have done that...I didn't even want to why didn't I make
I'm at a loss on how to fix this now... I don't want him to het in trouble and I don't want half the school to mock him.

Any ideas on how to talk to him or do anything about our mates?
I'm sure his parents will freak out if they ever see the pics the others took.

you shouldnt feel bad he made the choice to kiss you where you guys could be seen its not your fault and its not your responsibility to look after his reputation thats his responsibility and his alone

[Dalcourt]

I never took advantage of him...he wanted to make out, I knew it was a bad idea and didn't want to.
Still, he is angry with me now and doesn't talk to me anymore.

[Uniquemind]

I never took advantage of him...he wanted to make out, I knew it was a bad idea and didn't want to.
Still, he is angry with me now and doesn't talk to me anymore.

Well that's all on him then and he's gotta work on his own head problems.

He's either going to accept he was the one in the wrong, and he's suppressing aspects about himself, or he's going to be consumed and break.