Girl makes fun of me for telling her I like her then talks a lot to me randomly?

[Iamsolost]

So I liked this girl and I direct messaged her on twitter and told her (btw I have known her since middle school), she then proceeds to make fun of me on the bus and show her friends the message (got all of this info from friends, I was not on the bus or at school that day. Then I totally find her annoying and cruel/snobby and ingore her. She tries to say hi to me, she always brings me into random conversations on the bus that have nothing to do with me, and bringing up another girl that likes me and asks me whats up with that other girl even though she knows I don't like the other girl. She then comes into my class one day and talks to her friend, then sees me and comes and looks at me and walks over and sits down in front of me sitting sideways looks at me and says how come you weren't on the bus, I tell her I drove (making it obvious I didn't want to talk to her by making my answer sarcastic). Whenever I talk to her I pretty much ignore her, because who does that to someone and her response is usually "why does NAME hate me?". She keeps doing it even after a bad response I give her? What is her problem, does she suddenly like me? I don't have time for mean people. Thanks guys!

[Uniquemind]

So I liked this girl and I direct messaged her on twitter and told her (btw I have known her since middle school), she then proceeds to make fun of me on the bus and show her friends the message (got all of this info from friends, I was not on the bus or at school that day. Then I totally find her annoying and cruel/snobby and ingore her. She tries to say hi to me, she always brings me into random conversations on the bus that have nothing to do with me, and bringing up another girl that likes me and asks me whats up with that other girl even though she knows I don't like the other girl. She then comes into my class one day and talks to her friend, then sees me and comes and looks at me and walks over and sits down in front of me sitting sideways looks at me and says how come you weren't on the bus, I tell her I drove (making it obvious I didn't want to talk to her by making my answer sarcastic). Whenever I talk to her I pretty much ignore her, because who does that to someone and her response is usually "why does NAME hate me?". She keeps doing it even after a bad response I give her? What is her problem, does she suddenly like me? I don't have time for mean people. Thanks guys!


Oh this has a complex answer and multiple solutions to it.

The reason she's acting like this varies, but this usually indicates a girl who is very much invested in the social power game, both of her peers and that of the power of attracting the opposite gender (related but different social games).

She could also be testing you, meaning she hasn't closed the opportunity for you to be with her, but she's attempting to flex whatever control she has over you just because OR because she feels a twisted sense of guilt for rejecting you and is attempting to at least be friendly towards you.



You can handle it 1 of 2 top ways. But in either case remain guarded and withhold trust from any social interactions you have with her. She doesn't sound like a kind mature person.


1. Completely ignore her.

2. Accept socializing with her and go about life as if the rejection never happened, but never ignore her, confront her head on and own up to the fact that you did confess your crush to her. When she talks to you, respond in a witty way, not in a beaten down way but not in an angry way either.

Consider the following: if she had said yes, the public would've judged you as a couple anyway. (Your friends, her friends etc..)

Option 2 can communicate resilience of character while option one tends to communicate less positive things like shame for confessing among other things, that scream to girls like her that she can toy flirt with you. As it stands she's got the power, and you have to take that power back in a classy way. Option 2 does this.

For example: When she sat by you and asked why you weren't on the bus, instead of responding in a serious way like you did, you should've started "flirting" back with comments like "Missed me did ya?" (If she starts to talk to you) interrupt her and say "sorry class is about to start but if you have something really important to tell me I'm free on (a day you're free) to hang.

When she asks why someone hates her, literally answer with "oh idk, maybe it's how you lack all sense of tact and gossip so much to the point few can trust you enough to have a close friendship + plus another flaw of her character you've noticed recently.

---

There also were drawbacks of confessing via social media...but you've already experienced those.


Or you can continue to ignore her and see what happens but I suspect she'll bug you for a while.

But it seems like you don't like her anymore because her personality soured your ideal fantasy of her.

This is actually a very potentially fun situation.

You could totally creep her out and subtly do all the politically incorrect things to do so she will leave you alone if that's what you want now: (warning you might get into school trouble or sexual harassment trouble with some of these).

1. You can constantly hit on her.

2. Attempt to bombard her with gestures of affection and sappy gift giving.

3. Drop bad pickup lines on her. (Similar to number one).

[ClaraWho]

I would ignore the completely wacky advice given above ^.

In terms of 'she was making fun of you on the bus'. You weren't actually there. Who did you hear it from? Are they a reliable source? Was it her saying things or her friends making fun of her jokily.

The fact she seeks out contact with you and is confused by your new attitude could be because she doesn't feel she's done anything wrong. One second you said you fancied her, now you are acting like an immature jerk. She may actually never have made fun of you in the first place, and was actually flattered by your interest. Or she's enjoying watching you squirm.

But not communicating with her makes you the immature one.

Did she ever reply to your message? Problem with social media is any of your friends could have hacked and sent the message. Why should she make herself vulnerable to rejection or ridicule by acknowledging the message?

Do the mature thing, try to find a time when she is on her own and have a quiet chat. Say she never replied to your message, but you meant what you said. Apologise for the way you have been acting, and explain what your friends told you. If she laughs in your face then you can just say you want nothing more to do with her, and the conversation is your word against hers.

Let us know how you get on. Attempting to read her mind has ended you up in this mess, ask her the questions if you actually want answers.

Good luck.

~ Clara

[Iamsolost]

ClaraWho, the people who told me were very reliable. Acting like an immature jerk would be making fun of someone who told you they liked you in public in front of a ton of people. She doesn't seek out contact, she is a controlling person who wants to show her social dominance by toying with guys emotions. There is a chance I am completely wrong about that, but it is small. What should I do to gauge this and do the right thing because I do not want to hurt anyones feelings but I certainly don't want to be toyed with. Is there something I can say and look at her response as well as analyze her body language/tone of voice? I however agree that I should stay away from someone who toys and makes fun of you.

[ClaraWho]

Well you're clearly not open to reason or discussion regarding how you think of her, based on your own baseless conclusions.

And let's try to be honest here, you didn't tell her in public and she didn't make fun directly in front of you.

Instead of trying to read her mind - and since you refuse to be an adult and just talk to her - my advice is to ignore her and move on. It sounds like you don't particularly like her as a person anymore anyway, seeing as after rejection you are now debasing her character.

Maybe wait a while before starting to date again.

[Iamsolost]

Ok, so here is where I stand on that. I am willing to talk to her, I just wanted to get opinions on what I should do. If I go talk to her, what should I say exactly? I don't want to get toyed with, and I don't want to be made a joke. I am willing to talk to her though.

[Uniquemind]

Okay well it seems my advice is being ignored even though it is very fringe wacky advice.


But I agree with Clara, that you should probably just play it cool and ignore her.


---

Or you could take one of the pieces of advice I gave and see what happens.



But Clara has a point, you are hearing information secondhand.


Just call her out on her less-than-honest personality and behavior lately.


Either way she doesn't sound like a good person.


She needs to be wary though, if she's really a sour person, there is a type of guy who is just as much a bad person who will probably treat her like a piece of meat and throw her to the side because her personality sucks. That's karma.

[ClaraWho]

Ok, so here is where I stand on that. I am willing to talk to her, I just wanted to get opinions on what I should do. If I go talk to her, what should I say exactly? I don't want to get toyed with, and I don't want to be made a joke. I am willing to talk to her though.

Ha! Nope.

You want a single question that will allow you to telepathically read what's on her mind through her expression and body language. Ain't gonna happen.

Your pride will be your downfall.

Outside of the alleged incident on the bus, how has she been nasty towards you? It seems all contact since that point has been her attempt to get closer to you, whilst you cast aspersions on her conduct and paint it with your preconceptions.

If she is such a 'terrible person', why do you care if she still likes you? Move on!

Much more productive than insulting her on here and attempting to predict the future.

----

If you do decide to do the adult thing and speak to her, say you're sorry you've been acting like a jerk, but you heard she'd made fun of you on the bus when you confessed you liked her.

If, as I previously suggested and you shot down, you find a time when the two of you can speak alone - THEN SHE DOESN'T HAVE AN AUDIENCE TO PLAY TO.

So yeah, she may laugh in your face and call you desperately pathetic, but SUCH IS LIFE. Nobody else will witness it, so you could be juvenile and make up a story about her confessing to you instead.

Or you could take the moral high ground, say you were obviously wrong about her, and put it down to experience.

I have to concede, you do come accross on here as quite aggressive.

~ Clara

[Iamsolost]

ClaraWho, I greatly appreciate your response and have found it quite useful. I will talk to her and apologize and mention the teasing portion on the bus. I am not aggressive at all XD. I am quite the opposite actually; I just didn't appreciate her making fun of me in front of a ton of our peers but I suppose I could have handled it the wrong way. By the way I'm not insulting her as much as I am giving background information and stating my own observations as well as my friends observations. Thank you again!

[Aether]

So I liked this girl and I direct messaged her on twitter and told her (btw I have known her since middle school), she then proceeds to make fun of me on the bus and show her friends the message (got all of this info from friends, I was not on the bus or at school that day. Then I totally find her annoying and cruel/snobby and ingore her. She tries to say hi to me, she always brings me into random conversations on the bus that have nothing to do with me, and bringing up another girl that likes me and asks me whats up with that other girl even though she knows I don't like the other girl. She then comes into my class one day and talks to her friend, then sees me and comes and looks at me and walks over and sits down in front of me sitting sideways looks at me and says how come you weren't on the bus, I tell her I drove (making it obvious I didn't want to talk to her by making my answer sarcastic). Whenever I talk to her I pretty much ignore her, because who does that to someone and her response is usually "why does NAME hate me?". She keeps doing it even after a bad response I give her? What is her problem, does she suddenly like me? I don't have time for mean people. Thanks guys!

Yeah like the other answer said complex. Seems like she does have some feelings for you whether she likes you or wants to be your friend. Just keep cool dont be rude back try judt like i do with any bully say something positive back when they annoy you usually this wil confuse them and It most likely wont be the reaction they were intending to get keep leting us know whats happening-Aether

[Iamsolost]

Aether, I will be sure to post back with new information! I greatly appreciate the second viewpoint! I will make sure not to be rude!