Help!!

[Hudor]

VT I came out to my parents and their not accepting it. How do I convince them that I know for sure? How should I make them realize it's not something unnatural?
I never expected this reaction from them but anyway things have come down to it and I gotta handle the mess. Right now any help would be appreciated.

[Vermilion]

Why aren't they expecting it ? Is it a religious thing or what ?

[Hudor]

They think homosexuality is abnormal and a disease. I have been trying to make them see reason but it's not happening. They're trying to give me the evolution reason and their own experiences of meeting gay people. And they're pretty sure it's a bad thing. I don't know how to counter that

[Vermilion]

Look at famous gay people like Ian mckellen and others just show it's not a bad thing

[Trickythetiger]

I don't know why it's so hard for people to understand that people will love whoever they want.

There's so much out there that tells us homosexuality is not a bad thing and it doesn't harm anyone.

It sucks that you're family reacted this way but I hope you can pull through.

[Hudor]

Look at famous gay people like Ian mckellen and others just show it's not a bad thing
twin

They don't care. I'm getting the argument again and again that it's not normal and it's all about sex. Basically no famous example is working they've disregarded them. :(

Trickythetiger I hope too

[Vermilion]

twin

They don't care. I'm getting the argument again and again that it's not normal and it's all about sex. Basically no famous example is working they've disregarded them. :(

Just give it time that's all I can think

[Hudor]

Just give it time that's all I can think

Yeah that's what I'm thinking of doing but it's not going to help. I am just hoping it would though.

[Vermilion]

Just don't bring a guy back :)

[Zachary G]

Parents are the hardest ones to usually come out to because we are afraid that they will react the way yours have. There isnt much you can do to change their minds, they are pretty hard set in what they believe. Leave the discussion alone for awhile, see if things die down. Only time will have an affect on them, so you have to be the opposite of everything they believe is wrong with gay. But ultimately, just give them space and time.

[ImCoolBeans]

Parents are the hardest ones to usually come out to because we are afraid that they will react the way yours have. There isnt much you can do to change their minds, they are pretty hard set in what they believe. Leave the discussion alone for awhile, see if things die down. Only time will have an affect on them, so you have to be the opposite of everything they believe is wrong with gay. But ultimately, just give them space and time.

I agree with Zach. I would try to leave the discussion alone for a little while and let them take what you just told them in and really process it. After some time to cool down they might be more accepting -- but when it comes down to it -- it's something that they're going to have to accept and get used to at some point. Some parents react that way because they don't know how else to react. Some people have also never really had a gay person in their lives, past the point of acquaintance. I'm sorry that it didn't go well for you, but this doesn't mean that they will never accept you.

[Hudor]

Parents are the hardest ones to usually come out to because we are afraid that they will react the way yours have. There isnt much you can do to change their minds, they are pretty hard set in what they believe. Leave the discussion alone for awhile, see if things die down. Only time will have an affect on them, so you have to be the opposite of everything they believe is wrong with gay. But ultimately, just give them space and time.

I agree with Zach. I would try to leave the discussion alone for a little while and let them take what you just told them in and really process it. After some time to cool down they might be more accepting -- but when it comes down to it -- it's something that they're going to have to accept and get used to at some point. Some parents react that way because they don't know how else to react. Some people have also never really had a gay person in their lives, past the point of acquaintance. I'm sorry that it didn't go well for you, but this doesn't mean that they will never accept you.

I'm not broaching the topic myself but I've got to talk when they bring it up and they have done it twice since. For them it's probably unimaginable to accept it. And they have legitimate backing too. It's criminal to be gay in my country.
I'll just wait it out and try to avoid the topic for now I guess then.

[Mil1dreded]

If it's illegal in the country you live in which is awful and backwards for it to be I presume it is a heavily religious country where being gay is unthinkable and your parents believe that which is another flaw in religion but anyway you don't want to be potentially arrested that wouldn't help I'd just avoid the subject but the situation your in is horrible I hope you get to go somewhere you can be yourself oneday

[Hudor]

If it's illegal in the country you live in which is awful and backwards for it to be I presume it is a heavily religious country where being gay is unthinkable and your parents believe that which is another flaw in religion but anyway you don't want to be potentially arrested that wouldn't help I'd just avoid the subject but the situation your in is horrible I hope you get to go somewhere you can be yourself oneday

We had pro-lgbtq laws for a while which were shot down due to petty politics but there has been progress for transgenders and hopefully the situation will be better for the rest of us but as of now gay sex is a criminal offence out here. I won't exactly be arrested if I'm out as gay but the real damage the legislation does is to give people with regressive and backward mindsets all the more reason to prove that it's bad to be gay. Even if the legislation were to change people would take a long time to do so and unfortunately my parents belong to the category of non-acceptors.

I'm not getting the religion argument much. They're pretty adamant in their belief that it's a disease/pyschological ailment/abnormality that can be cured. And the belief is quite steadfast.

For now things are going okay. We've come to an existential truce. I'm living with them for at least three more years I'm agreeing with them that being 19, it's probably too young and immature for me to declare myself gay. For now we are having no more discussion about this and they believe I've understood what they were badgering me too.
On my part I think I'll just wait till I'm independent and have actually had a relationship with a guy(to know for sure) before I broach the topic again. Things have hopefully settled for two or three years though there are some obvious strains that I'll probably have to live with anyway.
I guess the emergency has passed for now. With time I'll see what changes happen.