Depression and focus need help

[Melkor]

I have been struggling with depression for a long time now and I have gone to hospital because of threat of suicide twice and it was commonly triggered by my marks decreasing basically in every course. I can't focus to study or to do my projects and in order to get rid of the pain of doing them I skip school but I haven't found a way to fix it and I know that skipping would result in further decrease of my marks but I can't find another way...
I am not getting any better, I tried everything that came to my mind and still no result... I can't focus, my thoughts go everywhere and the further it goes the closer to suicide I am and I end up on a restriction form in the hospital every time... please help...

[Vermilion]

Are you on any meds ?

[Melkor]

Are you on any meds ?

Prozac 20 mg

[Vermilion]

Prozac 20 mg

So yes, but a low amount, for how long ?

[Melkor]

So yes, but a low amount, for how long ?

For about 8 months.

[Vermilion]

For about 8 months.

So long enough for them to start to work, have they helped at all ?

[Melkor]

So long enough for them to start to work, have they helped at all ?

Although you could have asked them all in one question :D (ty) as what my psychiatrist said," They haven't helped at all."

[Microcosm]

You might have an attention disorder of some sort. I'm not a professional on that sort of thing nor do I know much about it; however, I do think your best bet would be to report the focus problem to someone who knows more about it like your psychiatrist or doctor.

[Melkor]

You might have an attention disorder of some sort. I'm not a professional on that sort of thing nor do I know much about it; however, I do think your best bet would be to report the focus problem to someone who knows more about it like your psychiatrist or doctor.

It's not add or adhd, I was fine basically back in grade 11 and 10 it started this year after the medication mostly...

[Vermilion]

I guessing you haven't, been on another antidepressant ? if not that could be an possible fix.

[Microcosm]

It's not add or adhd, I was fine basically back in grade 11 and 10 it started this year after the medication mostly...

Still, whatever it is, telling these things to a professional would be best. Hell, you could just email a professional and get their opinion. If the medicine isn't working for you or is actually working against you, then that needs to be taken care of.

[Melkor]

Still, whatever it is, telling these things to a professional would be best. Hell, you could just email a professional and get their opinion. If the medicine isn't working for you or is actually working against you, then that needs to be taken care of.
I was in the hospital with a psychiatrist last week... why wouldn't they tell me when they already knew it. It doesn't make any sense. I am so mad and I can't move myself to go to school and I feel I might commit suicide ...

[Microcosm]

I was in the hospital with a psychiatrist last week... why wouldn't they tell me when they already knew it. It doesn't make any sense. I am so mad and I can't move myself to go to school and I feel I might commit suicide ...

Don't do that... Suicide doesn't help. Rather, it just directly puts an end to your problems but it also puts an end to you and causes problems for other people.

[Melkor]

Don't do that... Suicide doesn't help. Rather, it just directly puts an end to your problems but it also puts an end to you and causes problems for other people.
I no longer can give a damn about other people. My mother caused me to even feel worse for the last few days... people tell me that suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem but how many more years should I live in this hell. Today I am closer than any day to suicide... from all the people I have trusted to help me I realized they all have failed... and I am tired of living under a mask of fake smiles...

[Microcosm]

I no longer can give a damn about other people. My mother caused me to even feel worse for the last few days... people tell me that suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem but how many more years should I live in this hell. Today I am closer than any day to suicide... from all the people I have trusted to help me I realized they all have failed... and I am tired of living under a mask of fake smiles...

That makes the world no less worth living in. You can still contribute to the world and be happy. There is a way. You just have to find it for yourself. No one can show or tell you exactly how to be happy, but rather you have to discover it for yourself. Suicide would be just giving up on that task and ignoring it all together.

[Melkor]

That makes the world no less worth living in. You can still contribute to the world and be happy. There is a way. You just have to find it for yourself. No one can show or tell you exactly how to be happy, but rather you have to discover it for yourself. Suicide would be just giving up on that task and ignoring it all together.
You know I've tried, if i hadn't tried i wouldn't have been here talking about giving up... I couldn't find it and I ended up hurting myself I have gone from hospital to hospital and place to place but how much longer?

[Microcosm]

You know I've tried, if i hadn't tried i wouldn't have been here talking about giving up... I couldn't find it and I ended up hurting myself I have gone from hospital to hospital and place to place but how much longer?

The fact that you haven't found it means that there is still more work to do. Let's not give up. Let's appreciate the things we have. Let's look at the world in a different way just to see if it makes things any better. If the value of your life can't convince you, then what about what would happen to that after you're dead? What if there is an afterlife? What if there is more to this that you are totally ignoring? You might regret it after you've done it and that's no good. There is so much more. You just have to have faith in that fact and look around you. Discover something new that tells you something fundamental about your life and let it guide you.