Cognizant
May 18th, 2015, 06:27 PM
This is a long post, but if you can read through all of it and gimme some feedback I would really appreciate it. Thank you.
Here I sit writing this, sipping a large sized guilty-pleasure dessert smoothie from Jamba in my room after another failed date. He didn't even bother giving me a reason as to why he didn't wanna hang out this time. I drove all the way to the city, and all the way back, and he still hasn't texted back. Unfortunately, this isn't the first time this has happened.
The guy in question is named Alex. We met on grindr, but both of us weren't really looking for sex. He lives basically in Downtown San Francisco, which isn't that far away,but he isn't exactly my next door neighbor either. It takes about an hour to get from my driveway 30 miles away to his apartment complex. That's why I'm so frustrated, because I'm wasting time, gas, energy, and wear on my car just to possibly meet up with a somewhat flaky guy.
It's apparent we're into each other, and while talking with him isn't like talking with my best friend, we can both hold a conversation decently well. We have a few conflicting interests and points of view, but I wouldn't consider it enough to be a red flag or dealbreaker -- and at least so far, if we've had any arguments, we've both been pretty level headed and open minded to the other's wishes and POV. We even went on a date for the first time last Thursday, and he told me afterwards he had a great time. He was cuddly (which he said he doesn't usually like doing, so I guess I'm special), we held hands, and I could swear on my mothers life he was gonna try to kiss me. To be honest, we click very well and I wouldn't mind being his boyfriend.
But what irks me is sometimes he will just.....stop replying. Like out of the blue. Usually on days where I suggest meeting up and doing something. Take Sunday, for example. After our date on Thursday, we had talked about meeting up on Sunday. He said it would work for him. On Saturday, he basically implied that he really wanted to see me tomorrow. It would've meant a lot to me, because I was cancelling plans to go to a party and was looking forward to go birthday clothing shopping with him.
Sunday morning rolls around, and after some initial schedule conflict, he texted me at around 11:30 telling me he was free. Here's the problem. I forgot to mention to him that I was on my way. Yes, I'm stupid for doing that. But hear me out.
After an hour in the car and getting to his place, I texted him asking where he was. No reply. Texted him again. Still no reply. Called him, went to voicemail. Drove around a little to kill time, and he replied "I'm not home anymore I didn't think you were coming". Again, in fairness, I never told him I was on my way. I apologized to him and asked him if I should wait in the city until he was free. No response. I then texted him asking if he was mad at me. Still no response. Upset, I started to head home. About 1/4 of the way home, he texted me saying he wasn't mad at me. I then asked him if he still wanted to hang out at some point today, and that I can wait but if you don't reply in 30 minutes I'm heading home.
As you may expect, he didn't reply. I was very upset at that point. I wasted my entire afternoon for no reason. Even if he was busy, I think the least he could've done was sent a text saying "Well I'm too busy now, we can chill at ____" or "Sorry not today". It makes me feel like he doesn't have an invested interest in me, even though he's said so.
A similar story happened today. I asked if he wanted to hang out and he said "maybe". This time I made sure to say "on my way unless you say otherwise". He never fucking replied. I sent that at 1:45PM, it's now almost 4:30. Granted, I should've known better based on what happened yesterday, but I had stuff to do in the city today anyways.
I'm confused as to what to do now. I sent him an anger-charged text saying "Not gonna lie, I'm a bit disappointed. Text me sometime when you actually wanna hang out." I tempted to not send him any more messages until he replied (if ever), but built up anger made me send him a text asking "Why is it so damn hard for you to actively communicate with me?"
I'm kinda tempted to just start looking for someone new, but I honestly feel like we click -- we could probably have a good relationship if he invested in us a little bit more. What do I do? Do I move on? Do I wait for him to reply? :confused:
Here I sit writing this, sipping a large sized guilty-pleasure dessert smoothie from Jamba in my room after another failed date. He didn't even bother giving me a reason as to why he didn't wanna hang out this time. I drove all the way to the city, and all the way back, and he still hasn't texted back. Unfortunately, this isn't the first time this has happened.
The guy in question is named Alex. We met on grindr, but both of us weren't really looking for sex. He lives basically in Downtown San Francisco, which isn't that far away,but he isn't exactly my next door neighbor either. It takes about an hour to get from my driveway 30 miles away to his apartment complex. That's why I'm so frustrated, because I'm wasting time, gas, energy, and wear on my car just to possibly meet up with a somewhat flaky guy.
It's apparent we're into each other, and while talking with him isn't like talking with my best friend, we can both hold a conversation decently well. We have a few conflicting interests and points of view, but I wouldn't consider it enough to be a red flag or dealbreaker -- and at least so far, if we've had any arguments, we've both been pretty level headed and open minded to the other's wishes and POV. We even went on a date for the first time last Thursday, and he told me afterwards he had a great time. He was cuddly (which he said he doesn't usually like doing, so I guess I'm special), we held hands, and I could swear on my mothers life he was gonna try to kiss me. To be honest, we click very well and I wouldn't mind being his boyfriend.
But what irks me is sometimes he will just.....stop replying. Like out of the blue. Usually on days where I suggest meeting up and doing something. Take Sunday, for example. After our date on Thursday, we had talked about meeting up on Sunday. He said it would work for him. On Saturday, he basically implied that he really wanted to see me tomorrow. It would've meant a lot to me, because I was cancelling plans to go to a party and was looking forward to go birthday clothing shopping with him.
Sunday morning rolls around, and after some initial schedule conflict, he texted me at around 11:30 telling me he was free. Here's the problem. I forgot to mention to him that I was on my way. Yes, I'm stupid for doing that. But hear me out.
After an hour in the car and getting to his place, I texted him asking where he was. No reply. Texted him again. Still no reply. Called him, went to voicemail. Drove around a little to kill time, and he replied "I'm not home anymore I didn't think you were coming". Again, in fairness, I never told him I was on my way. I apologized to him and asked him if I should wait in the city until he was free. No response. I then texted him asking if he was mad at me. Still no response. Upset, I started to head home. About 1/4 of the way home, he texted me saying he wasn't mad at me. I then asked him if he still wanted to hang out at some point today, and that I can wait but if you don't reply in 30 minutes I'm heading home.
As you may expect, he didn't reply. I was very upset at that point. I wasted my entire afternoon for no reason. Even if he was busy, I think the least he could've done was sent a text saying "Well I'm too busy now, we can chill at ____" or "Sorry not today". It makes me feel like he doesn't have an invested interest in me, even though he's said so.
A similar story happened today. I asked if he wanted to hang out and he said "maybe". This time I made sure to say "on my way unless you say otherwise". He never fucking replied. I sent that at 1:45PM, it's now almost 4:30. Granted, I should've known better based on what happened yesterday, but I had stuff to do in the city today anyways.
I'm confused as to what to do now. I sent him an anger-charged text saying "Not gonna lie, I'm a bit disappointed. Text me sometime when you actually wanna hang out." I tempted to not send him any more messages until he replied (if ever), but built up anger made me send him a text asking "Why is it so damn hard for you to actively communicate with me?"
I'm kinda tempted to just start looking for someone new, but I honestly feel like we click -- we could probably have a good relationship if he invested in us a little bit more. What do I do? Do I move on? Do I wait for him to reply? :confused: