Breakup Question Dealing with Kissing

[KangarooInMalibu]

My friend and I have been best friends for 5 years now. Back in January of 2014, he asked me to go out with him & I said "Yes!". We dated for a few months then one day after school, while hugging each other, he told me "I think it would be better if we were just best friends instead".

I recently found out from one of my friends that he told them the "real" reason he broke up with me was because, as he put it, "Whenever I went to kiss her, she'd turn her head to the side".

Now what we had done was after we hugged, I'd turn my head a bit and he'd kiss me on the cheek, then he'd do the same so I could kiss his cheek. We only kissed on the lips a few times and those were the special times (like our first kiss or the night we went to the dance). We usually would just kiss each other on the cheek, especially during those quick moments where we'd have to go to class and were saying goodbye to each other.

Is there a way I should react to this news? Or should I just shrug it off as if I didn't hear about it or didn't care?

[Uniquemind]

My friend and I have been best friends for 5 years now. Back in January of 2014, he asked me to go out with him & I said "Yes!". We dated for a few months then one day after school, while hugging each other, he told me "I think it would be better if we were just best friends instead".

I recently found out from one of my friends that the "real" reason he broke up with me was because, as he put it, "Whenever I went to kiss her, she'd turn her head to the side".

Now what we had done was after we hugged, I'd turn my head a bit and he'd kiss me on the cheek, then he'd do the same so I could kiss his cheek. We only kissed on the lips a few times and those were the special times. We saved the cheek kissing for while we were in school and for those quick times where we'd have to go to class and were saying goodbye to each other.

Is there a way I should react to this news? Or should I just shrug it off as if I didn't hear about it or didn't care?

If that truly is the reason your ex-bf initiated a breakup I think he over reacted.

This is a situation that warrants a "talk" with the bf or gf, about why they do something in a relationship and how it makes them feel. But the relationship is still on during "the talk that addressed issues" in the relationship.


If he suddenly broke up without working through what you were doing that was obviously hurting his feelings then he's being immature and lacks communication skills vital to maintaining a relationship.


But then again maybe he broke up for other reasons. You did hear this reason 2nd hand.

[Contra]

So, let me clear this up: you're just friends now? When did you break up?
Because, if it's how I pictured, and you guys have broken up for a while now, maybe you should just let this matter go and ignore said news.
If you have feelings for him, well, you should try and figure out if he feels the same. Then you can try and explain your reasons with hope he'll understand and you can try to be together again.

[KangarooInMalibu]

If that truly is the reason your ex-bf initiated a breakup I think he over reacted.

This is a situation that warrants a "talk" with the bf or gf, about why they do something in a relationship and how it makes them feel. But the relationship is still on during "the talk that addressed issues" in the relationship.


If he suddenly broke up without working through what you were doing that was obviously hurting his feelings then he's being immature and lacks communication skills vital to maintaining a relationship.


But then again maybe he broke up for other reasons. You did hear this reason 2nd hand.

One of the things I thought about after we broke up was the level of communication we had during the relationship. It was that time I decided when I get a new boyfriend I'll make sure to mention I want to have good communication with him and for him to tell me if something's bothering me, etc.

I just wonder why he never talked to me about how this bothered him. He's told me very personal things before so it was just weird to hear this. I'm also wondering if he was embarrassed about telling me it bothered him.

So, let me clear this up: you're just friends now? When did you break up?
Because, if it's how I pictured, and you guys have broken up for a while now, maybe you should just let this matter go and ignore said news.
If you have feelings for him, well, you should try and figure out if he feels the same. Then you can try and explain your reasons with hope he'll understand and you can try to be together again.

Yes, we're just friends at the moment. We broke up March of 2014. I still do have feelings for him and some of my friends can tell he seems to harbor a few feelings for me as well.

[Contra]

If you can be sure about each other's feelings, then it wouldn't be such a bad idea to clear everything up and try again!

[Uniquemind]

If you can be sure about each other's feelings, then it wouldn't be such a bad idea to clear everything up and try again!

Or just to clear things up...for the sake of clearing them up.

[Contra]

Or just to clear things up...for the sake of clearing them up.

Yeah, but if things are okay by now, is it strictly necessary? I think I couldn't bring up the topic that easily, haha.

[Uniquemind]

Yeah, but if things are okay by now, is it strictly necessary? I think I couldn't bring up the topic that easily, haha.

I guess not. But actually bringing it up randomly might be halarious as long as you make it clear you can handle the awkwardness rather than make it seem like your blaming them.

[Contra]

I guess not. But actually bringing it up randomly might be halarious as long as you make it clear you can handle the awkwardness rather than make it seem like your blaming them.

Perhaps! It depends on the way this is dealt with.

[Uniquemind]

Perhaps! It depends on the way this is dealt with.

Truer words could not have been spoken for like 93% of life.


The other 7% encapsulates life's scenarios with death, taxes, technicalities, and random coincidences one feels the effects of but has no willful control over.