How do you distinguish between love and obsession (or other things)

[onewingedangel666]

I'm just wondering, do you think there is a fine or thick line between a crush and loving someone? What does loving someone entail?
Do you think you can fall in love with someone over messaging? Can you fall in love wth someone in one night? Can you love someone without ever being in a relationship with them?
Basically any ideas on loving someone, I'd like to hear. If you think of any more questions, feel free to post them/answer them

[Uniquemind]

A crush can be pure lust.

Love cannot be.

Loving someone entails selfishness and a gentle possessive feeling. Not unlike the emotions felt as a baby when you sought out security and safety, if your mind's memory can go back that far.

Can you fall in love with someone over messaging: no, you can't learn enough about someone over such a limited form of communication, but you can psych yourself out with a fantasy.

Can you fall in love with someone in one night? Sure


Can you love someone without being in a relationship with them: yes; it's called unrequited love. But you can also love fellow humans platonically. But I sense your only asking about romantic love.

[James Dean]

This is just my opinion.

But I believe all instances of love, start as crushes of some sort. Either one sided, or both people are crushing on each other.

Then as time goes on, and other factors come in, the crush either leaves, or a relationship starts.

Crushes are just training wheels that you can use, to see as to whether or not this person is right for you. Most of the time you get over them and find out it wasn't true love. However there are times when relationships do form because of them.

If all you guys do is message each other on the phone, then it will stay a crush.

If you do experience love at first sight, it started a crush, then within a matter of minutes, it became a relationship. Doesn't mean a crush never happened because it did.

Yes you can love someone without being in a relationship with them. It just becomes complicated, and it would be better if you guys shared mutual feelings.

[audiophile5]

Well I think that with a crush, while you feel like you're all about them, it's not really that deep. You might like them for their looks, you might fantasize over the idea of being with them, but it's very "scratching the surface of things". It's kinda the start of a potential love, IMO.

With real love, I think it's more and more a part of yourself. Like if you only have a crush on someone and they mistreat you and you feel unwanted, although it hurts for some time, you kinda detach yourself and stop caring. With love though, you find yourself going back to them, forgetting about certain things they did and said, only to go on being with them. It's kinda like despite the hell they sometimes put you through, you can't really envision your future life without them. And idk, like if you do something and they get mad at you , even if you're sure you're right you're willing to give in, only because you can't stand the idea of them being angry with you.

It's also the "giving them the special treatment" where you'd always go for them when facing a choice, not only regarding important stuff, but also small things like who to sit next to in the bus, them or a friend of yours.

For me, love it's kinda centering my entire world around that person. Even if they're not there, I still see parts of them around me, I still think "they'd find this funny" or like "what would they say if I wore this shirt?". Kinda wanting them to always be around, because life is simply better with them.

I don't really think you can truly fall in love over messaging, I think too much of them is
taken away. And people nowadays seem to disregard the importance of things like eye contact and small touches and how much they can change.

I also don't you can actually fall in love in one night, but as I've said, the "process" can begin.

And sure, you can be in love with someone you're not with. After so many decades of songs and books and art based on unrequited love, it must certainly be something true.

[hannaszabo]

If it goes away with time if you dont see/meet him/her, then it's obsession, if its not then it's love. :)

[onewingedangel666]

Well I think that with a crush, while you feel like you're all about them, it's not really that deep. You might like them for their looks, you might fantasize over the idea of being with them, but it's very "scratching the surface of things". It's kinda the start of a potential love, IMO.

With real love, I think it's more and more a part of yourself. Like if you only have a crush on someone and they mistreat you and you feel unwanted, although it hurts for some time, you kinda detach yourself and stop caring. With love though, you find yourself going back to them, forgetting about certain things they did and said, only to go on being with them. It's kinda like despite the hell they sometimes put you through, you can't really envision your future life without them. And idk, like if you do something and they get mad at you , even if you're sure you're right you're willing to give in, only because you can't stand the idea of them being angry with you.

It's also the "giving them the special treatment" where you'd always go for them when facing a choice, not only regarding important stuff, but also small things like who to sit next to in the bus, them or a friend of yours.


For me, love it's kinda centering my entire world around that person. Even if they're not there, I still see parts of them around me, I still think "they'd find this funny" or like "what would they say if I wore this shirt?". Kinda wanting them to always be around, because life is simply better with them.

I don't really think you can truly fall in love over messaging, I think too much of them is
taken away. And people nowadays seem to disregard the importance of things like eye contact and small touches and how much they can change.

I also don't you can actually fall in love in one night, but as I've said, the "process" can begin.

And sure, you can be in love with someone you're not with. After so many decades of songs and books and art based on unrequited love, it must certainly be something true.

Thank you, and everyone else.

The thing is here, I feel the exact way you explain in your 2nd-4th paragraphs, but I feel i fell in love with the person over a messaging system. This girl and I have talked after the messaging, and she knows how I feel, and I feel like we're pretty good friends, we both sorta feel like we understand each other I think.
So perhaps I fell in love later, after the messaging? Because I absolutely do that "What would she think of this? WOuld she laugh at that? She would have loved that." sort of thing ALL TEH TIME lol.

EDIT: Also, it may be important to say that i've never been in a relationship with this girl. That's why I sometimes feel like "DO I actually love her?"

[Uniquemind]

Thank you, and everyone else.

The thing is here, I feel the exact way you explain in your 2nd-4th paragraphs, but I feel i fell in love with the person over a messaging system. This girl and I have talked after the messaging, and she knows how I feel, and I feel like we're pretty good friends, we both sorta feel like we understand each other I think.
So perhaps I fell in love later, after the messaging? Because I absolutely do that "What would she think of this? WOuld she laugh at that? She would have loved that." sort of thing ALL TEH TIME lol.

EDIT: Also, it may be important to say that i've never been in a relationship with this girl. That's why I sometimes feel like "DO I actually love her?"


No you're psyching yourself out, and projecting your desires and fantasies on what you'd like to have happen.


You also need to be aware of the online phenomena of "catfishing".

You need to also verify the person on the other end is:

1. Not a bot

2. Not a prankster

3. Not a predator

4. Not some kid forced to lure other kids to assume an online identity by a handler of an underground criminal ring.

[onewingedangel666]

No you're psyching yourself out, and projecting your desires and fantasies on what you'd like to have happen.


You also need to be aware of the online phenomena of "catfishing".

You need to also verify the person on the other end is:

1. Not a bot

2. Not a prankster

3. Not a predator

4. Not some kid forced to lure other kids to assume an online identity by a handler of an underground criminal ring.

I know this person in real life, and we are on and off friends lol

[Melodic]

I'm just wondering, do you think there is a fine or thick line between a crush and loving someone? What does loving someone entail?

It's not really a line in my opinion. Crushes are more of the first step of falling in love. However, that doesn't mean every time you have a crush you fall in love a bit afterwards. Sometimes a crush is the only thing that develops.





Do you think you can fall in love with someone over messaging? Can you fall in love wth someone in one night? Can you love someone without ever being in a relationship with them?

1) Messaging can be iffy. You never know how much that person is hiding.

2) No. Falling in love is a long progress. You can't fall in love with a person that fast.

3) Yes. You don't need a title to fall in love with a person.