I'm completely lost.

[youtasd]

I'm sorry if this doesn't fit in this section, this is the most fitting section I found.

Until a year from now I've been very shy, was always afraid of what people would think of me, looked like a total nerd and saying Hi to girls was impossible for me.

I decided to change, got myself a nice haircut and stopped being so shy.
Acquired some new friends, lost some old ones (for the better), lost my virginity, had sex multiple times, had a 4 months relationship and 4 others in just under half a year and other various successful stuff I never dreamed to achieve but I did.

Another thing to note is that I'm 18 but look like 14 year old, no facial hair at all and my skinny physique* isn't helping either. I've started going to gym recently so hopefully that takes care of that.

On the bad side I quit school. I was at the 11th grade last year, failed hard because I was skipping to much and I didn't even bother to show up after the first two months this year so I don't have any chance to get education.

I know my way around computers and technology, I pick things up fast. People always told me I am very intelligent however I am too lazy.

The way I live currently is in a damn messy room, ALL my clothes on the floor, my desk is full of plates and cans and garbage in general and with my parents.

As usual, the older people get the more money they need. I need money for a driving license, a car, new clothes*, even my own place.

As you all might say while reading this (Go work!) I really want to work. I never liked studying but I always liked working. The problem is here in Israel, the best job you can get before the army recruits you is a waiter, which is impossible for me because of my looks (young looking and skinny).

So I have two options, keep searching for a job or wait till the army recruits me then find a job once I get released.

Or well anyone can suggest any other option.

*About the new clothes, since I'm really skinny and you can say underdeveloped physically I still wear clothes from 7th grade or stuff given to us that others don't wear. We are not that poor, heck my dad just bought a small yacht but yeah.. I need new clothes.

*About being skinny it's due to my mom not cooking food often. She cooks twice a week. If I get lucky I eat two meals/day otherwise it can be even one sandwich for the whole day. I'm going to start cooking for myself from now on so this is not quite a problem.

I also can't be alone so there's that. I really want a long lasting relationship, with a cute girl which will never cheat on me or anything alike (I got cheated on before..) and the fact that I'm alone drives me crazy.

So combine that education/job problem I have with the problem of me not able to be alone and you get depression. I ain't doing nothing besides going out with friends, be on the PC all night long then go to sleep at 8 AM till 5 PM, go out with friends again and repeat.

Going to clear my room tomorrow, get some money off a friend and buy myself some clothes, wax for hair and try and make myself look as mature as possible then head out to look for a job.

Any input is greatly appreciated, just writing this gave me some direction to what I should do.

Thank you for reading.

[Microcosm]

Read the whole thing.

I'm totally in your position on a lot of these points. I want to start off by saying how awesome it was to read this line:

I decided to change, got myself a nice haircut and stopped being so shy.
The decision to change is really important. If you really want to change, you could(technically) just force it to happen. It sometimes doesn't work well, but sometimes it does. Anyways, it helps to just chat about current events in your life and stuff with other people. This website is really good at providing you with that kind of outlet. Definitely stick around :P

Also, about being lonely: I'm totally with you. I get crazy depressed all the time when I don't have a girlfriend. It's so great to have one who'll care for you and stuff and it's just awesome. I haven't had a girlfriend in a while so I definitely know how you feel. I feel depressed a lot of times for this reason.

Anyways, good luck with your search for a job and the depression. PM me if you ever need someone to talk to.

[Dane00]

I'm sorry if this doesn't fit in this section, this is the most fitting section I found.

Until a year from now I've been very shy, was always afraid of what people would think of me, looked like a total nerd and saying Hi to girls was impossible for me.

I decided to change, got myself a nice haircut and stopped being so shy.
Acquired some new friends, lost some old ones (for the better), lost my virginity, had sex multiple times, had a 4 months relationship and 4 others in just under half a year and other various successful stuff I never dreamed to achieve but I did.

Another thing to note is that I'm 18 but look like 14 year old, no facial hair at all and my skinny physique* isn't helping either. I've started going to gym recently so hopefully that takes care of that.

On the bad side I quit school. I was at the 11th grade last year, failed hard because I was skipping to much and I didn't even bother to show up after the first two months this year so I don't have any chance to get education.

I know my way around computers and technology, I pick things up fast. People always told me I am very intelligent however I am too lazy.

The way I live currently is in a damn messy room, ALL my clothes on the floor, my desk is full of plates and cans and garbage in general and with my parents.

As usual, the older people get the more money they need. I need money for a driving license, a car, new clothes*, even my own place.

As you all might say while reading this (Go work!) I really want to work. I never liked studying but I always liked working. The problem is here in Israel, the best job you can get before the army recruits you is a waiter, which is impossible for me because of my looks (young looking and skinny).

So I have two options, keep searching for a job or wait till the army recruits me then find a job once I get released.

Or well anyone can suggest any other option.

*About the new clothes, since I'm really skinny and you can say underdeveloped physically I still wear clothes from 7th grade or stuff given to us that others don't wear. We are not that poor, heck my dad just bought a small yacht but yeah.. I need new clothes.

*About being skinny it's due to my mom not cooking food often. She cooks twice a week. If I get lucky I eat two meals/day otherwise it can be even one sandwich for the whole day. I'm going to start cooking for myself from now on so this is not quite a problem.

I also can't be alone so there's that. I really want a long lasting relationship, with a cute girl which will never cheat on me or anything alike (I got cheated on before..) and the fact that I'm alone drives me crazy.

So combine that education/job problem I have with the problem of me not able to be alone and you get depression. I ain't doing nothing besides going out with friends, be on the PC all night long then go to sleep at 8 AM till 5 PM, go out with friends again and repeat.

Going to clear my room tomorrow, get some money off a friend and buy myself some clothes, wax for hair and try and make myself look as mature as possible then head out to look for a job.

Any input is greatly appreciated, just writing this gave me some direction to what I should do.

Thank you for reading.
I totally understand a lot of what you are going through, and I agree completely with RainbowDash.

Just don't ever be afraid to ask for help...it's not as bad as it seems and it is never too late to turn the corner. Problems seem to mount and overtake us, make us feel hopeless and helpless --- then our outlook gets distorted. You can turn this around.

For me, It's like I was drowning, I was thrashing around in panic, when all i had to do was "be still" and reach my hand up to someone who had extended theirs to me. The problem was they didn't know I was drowning till I panicked.

It doesn't have to be that way. Lean on this community and find someone where you are who will extend their hand ---- you only have to be willing to "be still" and ask.