Friend/Crush and $$$

[Polo2847]

Hello!

I'm 18, my friend's, let's call him Sam, 18 but older by 9 months and I kinda have a crush on him. He's fun to be around. I also have a friend who moved overseas, let's call her Jane.

So around Christmas, Sam and I bought gifts and planned to send it over to Jane. I gave all my gifts to Sam, and didn't discuss shipping options with him because I assumed that he would have the common sense to purchase the cheapest flat-rate box for international (~$30-50), and we would split the cost. After he shipped the package, he sent me a picture of the receipt and he said I owe him $150. The total price he paid was about $300, because he chose "Expedited International Shipping" aka Express Shipping.

Even if he didn't know what 'expedited' means, I didn't understand why he wouldn't question paying $300 for shipping instead of $50 max. My gifts is much lighter than his gifts. I have no idea what I should do, or how to respond to this. I ended up paying him $150 because parents suggested that shows I'm a good friend, and people do stupid mistakes, but be firm next time.

How should I have go about this? Should I remain friends? He did something really stupid, but I feel like I kinda like him, like I should help him with stuff?

[Uniquemind]

Your first mistake:

1. You assume others have common sense.

For the rest of your life, assume common sense does not exist in other people.


Your second mistake:

This is a bit of a mutual mistake since neither you nor Sam, brought up the discussion of shipping plans and costs. He assumed you would foot the bill for an additional shipping tier service, you assumed silence on the issue = default cheapest shipping.



In this circumstance as long as both of you learn from this experience to always discuss every aspect of who pays what when splitting costs for anything (adventure trips, items, food, tips, packing materials, services, tax)


Preserve the friendship and get acknowledgement together that both of you were at fault.

Take the new total weight of the package and divide the total cost of shipping down to a price per unit of weight measurement of who bought what if possible.


If not you cannot do the above, just agree to split the cost of shipping 50% and 50% and learn from this.


If they can't accept this toss the friendship aside and forget about pursuing any crush...cuz he's bad with money.


Pro tip: if someone your dating is bad or unfair with money, your likely to doom a relationship or find yourself in lot of trouble in a relationship heading to a bad place. Marriages have fallen apart over money issues.

[James Dean]

Relationships and Dating :arrow2: Friends and Family.

Just a honest mistake. Sometimes as young people, we are very stubborn.

I remember one time I was at my cousins house. It was me and my three cousins. Their parents were at a business party and they left their credit card so we could order a pizza. They didn't want us leaving the house.

My cousin ordered the pizza and it came to like twenty something dollars. The man came to the door and he signed the receipt however, I don't know how he did it, but by accident wrote on the tip section or something because his parents were charged double when they got their credit card bill in the mail. So yeah it was a money mistake.

So you did the right thing by offering to pay half since both of you sent gifts, and I don't think this is worth throwing the friendship away.

He probably is just bad with money and again it was just an honest mistake.

[Microcosm]

You can totally stay friends with him. He made a pretty stupid mistake. But hey, it's forgivable. You could just inform him of what he did wrong but not make a big fuss over it. That's what I'd do.