I just need to vent, guys...

[WanderingHeart]

If you've ready my previous posts you'll understand my situation better.

I have 0 motivation.
I feel so empty inside. I feel like I don't have a heart anymore. I think it broke. Yeah, it broke. I broke too. I'm broken.

I can't believe I'm almost going to graduate 8th grade (I'll be graduating on June 9th, hooray!) Its not much of a big deal since its only the 8th grade, but to me I think of it as I actually graduated when I could've been dead. So that's good for me!...
I guess I won't mind if my mom comes to my graduation (if she's able to) but I just hope my dad doesn't. I don't want anything to do with him. I haven't spoken to him since like March 20th and I've been happy about that.

I have nothing to look forward to this summer. I'm not allowed to hang out with friends, or go out and take a walk around the neighborhood, or any of that stuff. I'm simply not allowed to do anything. Yet, I'm always yelled at for not doing anything except being on my tablet all day. And nobody listens to me when I try to explain.

I'm pretty sure this summer I'll be spending a majority of my time on the internet. I hope to create a website for people like me to join, so we could have our own little club online and talk and do stuff. I will rarely go outside as I can't even do so and I will be living my life on the internet. Because on the internet I am safe. I'm not safe at school sometimes and never at home so at least I can be safe on the internet.

I'm so depressed. Nothing cheers me up anymore. Everyone else is going off to do something this summer. All my classmates are going to be getting ready for high school, hanging out with one another and I'll be stuck at home because I'm not free like they are. And I refuse to go anywhere with my immediate family. They are not going to help me therefore I will completely distance myself from them as much as possible.

I hope to lose weight this summer. My family tells me that if I don't lose weight then in high school everyone will bully me (and that obviously helps with how nervous I am about high school, right?). So I'm just going to do my best on that. It kind of sucks though because I've got Ramadan, so I'll be fasting for a month this summer which'll mess up my plan. Or maybe I'll skip fasting this year, due to health reasons (losing weight) because I think that's allowed in my religion...I'll probably still be forced to fast though (oh fasting is where you go a period of time without food or water)

I don't know what will become of me this summer. And I'm only thinking about the summer right now because this is the next 3 months of my life (after school ends, that is). My family might move to a different house (not super far or anything though) and I hope I can at least get some privacy.

My best friend/cousin is going off to Palestine with her family this summer. I'm sure she'll be busy and all so I'm not sure I'll get a chance to talk to her much. I just hope she has a good time and all, though.

I don't even know what my point in posting all this is...I guess it's just to vent out about things...

Right now I'm just kind of sad, depressed, etc. So the usual feeling.

I don't know...guess I have to see how things go from here...

[Airam]

Hey
I have read some of your earlier posts and I assume that your situation won't get better, at least in the family aspect, until you move out. So the only advice I can give you is to concentrate on the aspects that you CAN change, at least to some extend.
Losing weight is a great idea, just don't give up, once you reached your goal you're gonna feel better.
Being a teenager sucks sometimes and it sucks double when you don't get support from your family. The only thing you can do is to get your mind on other things. It's gonna be bad, horrible but then it will get better.
I'm sure you have heard it before, but having a hobby really helps. Maybe get a habit of learning something new everyday (I know i sound like a nerd) it usually helps me get my mind of things + feeling smart is always nice;).
Otherwise just hold on, someday it will get better and it will feel like a fresh start. I am waiting for it too.

[WanderingHeart]

Yeah, losing weight is on my list for this summer.

As for hobbies, I don't know what would work for me...
I guess since I like to write I could work on my story more this summer. That's one thing, at least.

I know you're right, I need to look at the things I can change.

And I wish you luck on that fresh start, because you probably deserve it. Maybe one day I'll get it, too.

[Tesserax]

If you've ready my previous posts you'll understand my situation better.

I have 0 motivation.
I feel so empty inside. I feel like I don't have a heart anymore. I think it broke. Yeah, it broke. I broke too. I'm broken.

I can't believe I'm almost going to graduate 8th grade (I'll be graduating on June 9th, hooray!) Its not much of a big deal since its only the 8th grade, but to me I think of it as I actually graduated when I could've been dead. So that's good for me!...
I guess I won't mind if my mom comes to my graduation (if she's able to) but I just hope my dad doesn't. I don't want anything to do with him. I haven't spoken to him since like March 20th and I've been happy about that.

I have nothing to look forward to this summer. I'm not allowed to hang out with friends, or go out and take a walk around the neighborhood, or any of that stuff. I'm simply not allowed to do anything. Yet, I'm always yelled at for not doing anything except being on my tablet all day. And nobody listens to me when I try to explain.

I'm pretty sure this summer I'll be spending a majority of my time on the internet. I hope to create a website for people like me to join, so we could have our own little club online and talk and do stuff. I will rarely go outside as I can't even do so and I will be living my life on the internet. Because on the internet I am safe. I'm not safe at school sometimes and never at home so at least I can be safe on the internet.

I'm so depressed. Nothing cheers me up anymore. Everyone else is going off to do something this summer. All my classmates are going to be getting ready for high school, hanging out with one another and I'll be stuck at home because I'm not free like they are. And I refuse to go anywhere with my immediate family. They are not going to help me therefore I will completely distance myself from them as much as possible.

I hope to lose weight this summer. My family tells me that if I don't lose weight then in high school everyone will bully me (and that obviously helps with how nervous I am about high school, right?). So I'm just going to do my best on that. It kind of sucks though because I've got Ramadan, so I'll be fasting for a month this summer which'll mess up my plan. Or maybe I'll skip fasting this year, due to health reasons (losing weight) because I think that's allowed in my religion...I'll probably still be forced to fast though (oh fasting is where you go a period of time without food or water)

I don't know what will become of me this summer. And I'm only thinking about the summer right now because this is the next 3 months of my life (after school ends, that is). My family might move to a different house (not super far or anything though) and I hope I can at least get some privacy.

My best friend/cousin is going off to Palestine with her family this summer. I'm sure she'll be busy and all so I'm not sure I'll get a chance to talk to her much. I just hope she has a good time and all, though.

I don't even know what my point in posting all this is...I guess it's just to vent out about things...

Right now I'm just kind of sad, depressed, etc. So the usual feeling.

I don't know...guess I have to see how things go from here...

I find that art helps. Write a poem, draw something, it doesn't matter if it's bad, nobody has to see it if you don't want them to. I've made plenty of terribly poems that I decided to scrap and never think of again, but nonetheless it's a good way to express your feelings regardless of whether others see it. Others don't matter, but you do

[WanderingHeart]

Fuck it. I'm done caring.

[Tesserax]

Fuck it. I'm done caring.

If you stop, I stop. You and me are having some rough times, but we'll stick together. We live thousands of miles away, have no clue each other are, and have never met before in our lives. But we will stick to it. If you stop, I stop, if I stop, you stop. Let's do this together, and though it will be hard, I know this will work

[WanderingHeart]

If you stop, I stop. You and me are having some rough times, but we'll stick together. We live thousands of miles away, have no clue each other are, and have never met before in our lives. But we will stick to it. If you stop, I stop, if I stop, you stop. Let's do this together, and though it will be hard, I know this will work

Fine, fair enough. Neither of us can stop.