Who killed me. . .?

[NikkiNicole]

I need to just. . .

Someone took my life away. I don't smile genuinely anymore. I don't giggle just by the thought of something funny anymore. I don't get excited or anticipate the future anymore. I don't laugh whole heartily. I don't love. I don't connect emotionally. I don't allow myself to miss anyone or anything. I don't allow myself to get comfortable because I ALWAYS feel like someone is about to come and take it all away.

Who killed me? Who locked me away and threw away the key?

I'm nothing like I used to be.

I used to laugh, speak out, giggle, run free, smile at small things, cherish people with ALLLL my heart, allow myself to fall in and out of love, let my heart break and laugh while crying.

Now, I just lay here. With nothing. . I have nothing. I am nothing now. Just a hallowed out physical body. . . I don't feel anything. Have I done this to myself?

I hate this. I can't stand being this way. I told myself that this was the best way to be but I hate it. I don't feel human. .

Do I still bleed blood?

It's like a cord connecting my heart to my mind has been cut.

I don't allow emotion.

If I ever try to reconnect I think a rusty wire will spark and it might just kill me.

I've been dead so long.

I feel like someone came in, reached into my chest, and took my Life. Snatched every bit of me out. Everything about me that made me, me. That made me human. I feel robbed.

I don't shine bright anymore. I don't gleam when I walk into a room. My eyes don't meet every face with a grin anymore. My eyes are friends with the ground.

I have died 1000 deaths living like this for MONTHS. And I am so. . .

Done. I'm just done. . . .

[Bleid]

I need to just. . .

Someone took my life away. I don't smile genuinely anymore. I don't giggle just by the thought of something funny anymore. I don't get excited or anticipate the future anymore. I don't laugh whole heartily. I don't love. I don't connect emotionally. I don't allow myself to miss anyone or anything. I don't allow myself to get comfortable because I ALWAYS feel like someone is about to come and take it all away.

Who killed me? Who locked me away and threw away the key?

I'm nothing like I used to be.

I used to laugh, speak out, giggle, run free, smile at small things, cherish people with ALLLL my heart, allow myself to fall in and out of love, let my heart break and laugh while crying.

Now, I just lay here. With nothing. . I have nothing. I am nothing now. Just a hallowed out physical body. . . I don't feel anything. Have I done this to myself?

I hate this. I can't stand being this way. I told myself that this was the best way to be but I hate it. I don't feel human. .

Do I still bleed blood?

It's like a cord connecting my heart to my mind has been cut.

I don't allow emotion.

If I ever try to reconnect I think a rusty wire will spark and it might just kill me.

I've been dead so long.

I feel like someone came in, reached into my chest, and took my Life. Snatched every bit of me out. Everything about me that made me, me. That made me human. I feel robbed.

I don't shine bright anymore. I don't gleam when I walk into a room. My eyes don't meet every face with a grin anymore. My eyes are friends with the ground.

I have died 1000 deaths living like this for MONTHS. And I am so. . .

Done. I'm just done. . . .

I'm not sure how much this belongs in this section, but I'll give it a go.

Have you considered you maybe have depression, dear? That's what it seems like to me.

Do your friends & family know how difficult things have gotten for you? If so, why aren't you able to spend time with them and let them get you back to being happy? There needs to be someone in your life to lift you back up to normal. Find those people / that person, spend some time with them and let them know of this struggle of yours and get yourself back!

[Horatio Nelson]

ROTW :arrow: Mental Crisis Forum

This is better suited here.

[Syzygy]

----

[Andyyy95]

I need to just. . .

Someone took my life away. I don't smile genuinely anymore. I don't giggle just by the thought of something funny anymore. I don't get excited or anticipate the future anymore. I don't laugh whole heartily. I don't love. I don't connect emotionally. I don't allow myself to miss anyone or anything. I don't allow myself to get comfortable because I ALWAYS feel like someone is about to come and take it all away.

Who killed me? Who locked me away and threw away the key?

I'm nothing like I used to be.

I used to laugh, speak out, giggle, run free, smile at small things, cherish people with ALLLL my heart, allow myself to fall in and out of love, let my heart break and laugh while crying.

Now, I just lay here. With nothing. . I have nothing. I am nothing now. Just a hallowed out physical body. . . I don't feel anything. Have I done this to myself?

I hate this. I can't stand being this way. I told myself that this was the best way to be but I hate it. I don't feel human. .

Do I still bleed blood?

It's like a cord connecting my heart to my mind has been cut.

I don't allow emotion.

If I ever try to reconnect I think a rusty wire will spark and it might just kill me.

I've been dead so long.

I feel like someone came in, reached into my chest, and took my Life. Snatched every bit of me out. Everything about me that made me, me. That made me human. I feel robbed.

I don't shine bright anymore. I don't gleam when I walk into a room. My eyes don't meet every face with a grin anymore. My eyes are friends with the ground.

I have died 1000 deaths living like this for MONTHS. And I am so. . .

Done. I'm just done. . . .

Hey,

I'm really sorry to hear about the problems that you feel you are facing...

Have there been events/stuff that may have triggered you to feel like this?

Have your family/friends any awareness that you're feeling like this?

Do you think it would be a good idea if you consider counselling? Talking to someone professional does really help!

Hope you'll manage to figure something out!

All the best,
Andy

[NikkiNicole]

Hey guys!

I forgot I even posted this.

Yeah, I'm doing much better for the mean time.

I just go on a rant every now and then. . A pretty melodramatic one, might I add.

But I'm for now and doing great.

Thanks for your feedback.

[Andyyy95]

Hey guys!

I forgot I even posted this.

Yeah, I'm doing much better for the mean time.

I just go on a rant every now and then. . A pretty melodramatic one, might I add.

But I'm for now and doing great.

Thanks for your feedback.

Ranting can be considered quite a good thing, at least you're "letting it all out", rather than letting stuff boil-up!
Glad to hear you're doing great though, hope things stay like that for you :)

Keep thinking positive!

[Uniquemind]

Sounds like Bi-Polar Disorder or perhaps Dysphoria to me.

[NikkiNicole]

Sounds like Bi-Polar Disorder or perhaps Dysphoria to me.

Could be. Thanks for your input.


Ranting can be considered quite a good thing, at least you're "letting it all out", rather than letting stuff boil-up!
Glad to hear you're doing great though, hope things stay like that for you :)

Keep thinking positive!

Yeah, I have my days.

I'm trying to keep this head up. :)

Thanks for your positive feedback.

[Hey_123]

Go see a physiologist or physiatrist.