Gender

[xAbnormalxAlphax]

I'm a transboy, but my mother doesn't recognize it and has punished me when I ask for a binder or a packer. Help me know how to explain my gender to her!

[KieranRules]

I'm a transboy, but my mother doesn't recognize it and has punished me when I ask for a binder or a packer. Help me know how to explain my gender to her!


It might be a good idea to show her a documentary on trans people to help educate her to the situation. It sounds harsh but she will more likely learn from that rather than you just telling her about it. She just needs to understand it's normal for you to be trans and that loads of people are like it.

It may also be a good idea to get your dad on side or any other family member. This will help her understand as well because they can support you, in a sense making her also support you.

However if she has "punished" you then you may find this very tough has it would seem she is very reluctant to your transition. I would suggest going to a church, community centre or any other place where she goes to receive information, and tell them about the situation, get them to do a week on trans people.

Basically, you need to get as many people supporting you and you need to help educate her on the situation.

I hope you have a safe and great transition! :3

[James Dean]

What Kieran said was perfect. It's hard being trans with parents who aren't accepting of the LGBT culture. You might have to wait until they are able to accept the news, and you might have to wait until you are a legal adult to really do anything to your body, so I don't know if you are 18, but if you are, that is old enough.

Are there any open minded people in your immediate family? You didn't mention if you were religious or not, so that could be an issue.

Best of luck towards transitioning, It's tough I know hang in there and keep us updated. :)

[itsalex]

Fellow transboy here!

My parents don't invalidate me, but they think I'm too young to know, so that sucks. I never even had the courage to ask for a packer, they would probably think I'm crazy or something if I did. However, after I came out (via email) and we talked I asked for a binder but my mum was really really reluctant, mainly because of medical reasons (what if I get permanent damage from binding but later identify as female blah blah blah). What I did was I talked to my therapist (whom I already had for other reasons) about gender stuff and dysphoria and after a few months when the binding with sports bras (if you're smaller than a C cup, then binding with one or two compression sports bras might already help you) didn't work out, she talked my mum into letting me get the binder on one condition: my OBGYN had to say yes too (which she did!) so now, 11 months after coming out, I have a binder at last. So that's how I was able to get a binder even though my mum was previously very opposed to it.

About explaining your gender: maybe sit down and write her a letter, that way you can really time to think about how to word it and also think about situations throughout your childhood/life when you already had some experiences of gender dysphoria, maybe if she also remembers moments like that it'll help her. Or link her to documentaries (as posted above) but not once that are too long and with focus on trans people.

Also, find out if there are any LGBT/trans centers near you where you could go to talk to the volunteers about your problems/fears/etc they are there especially for kids like you! Sometimes they can also get you a secondhand binder. Maybe there's also a LGBT/trans youth group where you live, it's always nice to connect with people who know what you're going through. Maybe also tell a school guidance counselor about you and how your mum reacted to your coming out. It's always good to have people that can help you in case the situation gets worse.

[Syzygy]

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[Elysium]

Does transboy mean you are a guy who wants to be a girl or a girl who wants to be a guy? I'm assuming the former
It's a guy who was assigned female at birth.

OP, I'd start by doing your research and presenting your findings to her. Have open discussions with her about your gender and what it means to you. Ask her to try to understand.

[Babs]

I'm not sure what you could do to make her understand. However, it's possible she will understand with time.
There are websites that give away binders to trans youth for free. Perhaps look into that.

[SethfromMI]

well you can try to give her material to help her understand but the sad fact is she may never accept it. I hope she does though