Imaginary Sadist?

[Alexwellace]

I am not a malicious person. I have never hurt anyone out of anger or thrown any punches unprovoked. I am smiley and witty and in control so when a friend told me what i was thinking was not natural, i was concerned. I don't tend to get angry with people, to their faces. Instead i smile sarcastically in a way i hope conveys contempt and imagine them dying brutal deaths. Some days i get angry at people unreasonably, like my parents shouting at me to clean my room or my friend making an joke in bad taste, i would imagine them in some kind of pain or duress. I just though that's how people naturally dealt with anger without actually hurting people.

But when i shared my thoughts to my friend, he was kinda shocked and told me that wishing people dead is weird and i shouldn't do it. I get that but when i imagine people in pain i don't actually want them to suffer, it just feels nice to image they are, if only in petty spite.

I don't plan on changing, i feel as long as thoughts like these stop me doing something stupid (Like answering back to a Teacher when getting a roasting) then they seem to work. But is this something normal that other people do???

[fairmaiden]

I get what you mean, but it is a pretty dangerous way to think. I can understand someone picturing their enemy falling over or being embarrassed, but ''picturing their brutal death'' is quite horrible and I don't think that's right at all.

Instead of thinking of their, um, deaths; you could just look at them, smile and walk off. No thought process required. You can also try verbally standing up for yourself, for example: If someone is bothering you, tell them firmly; ''Leave me alone.'' (Don't do this to your parents, this is for students/bullies at school who are bothering you).

Please don't think of them dying. It's not right and you might end up lashing out one day because you've normalised your thoughts of them being killed/severely injured.

[James Dean]

I guess if you don't hurt anyone or yourself then I don't consider you a sadist.

As long as you don't act upon those thoughts and treat everyone the same and the way you want to be treated. Yeah there are gonna be people that you aren't gonna like, but just keep your thoughts to yourself and don't worry about it.

[Vermilion]

As long as it's just thoughts and you don't plan on going though with it I'd say it's ok to think it.

[Elysium]

It sounds like you're experiencing intrusive thought, which is, to my knowledge, fairly common. I get them too, except they're targeted at me instead of other people (in tons of situations, I end up picturing my own brutal death or torture, not someone else's).

[Alexwellace]

It sounds like you're experiencing intrusive thought, which is, to my knowledge, fairly common. I get them too, except they're targeted at me instead of other people (in tons of situations, I end up picturing my own brutal death or torture, not someone else's).

It's great to know there is a name for it and it is fairly common. I know hurting people isn't ok and these thoughts could encourage that, but is it horrible to say i don't what to lose the capability? To hurt people, i mean. When i'm on my long, lonely walk home i usually picture myself fighting people. Bullies, terrorists, thugs and Zombies (i dream about Zombie Apocalypses a lot). It entertains me and makes me feel confident to the point i can walk down dark allays whistling at night and not fear it.

But i understand those of you who see socially unacceptable. that imagining violence on people isn't ok, so i think i'll definitely keep that line of thinking to myself so people won't worry about me.

[Elysium]

It's great to know there is a name for it and it is fairly common. I know hurting people isn't ok and these thoughts could encourage that, but is it horrible to say i don't what to lose the capability? To hurt people, i mean. When i'm on my long, lonely walk home i usually picture myself fighting people. Bullies, terrorists, thugs and Zombies (i dream about Zombie Apocalypses a lot). It entertains me and makes me feel confident to the point i can walk down dark allays whistling at night and not fear it.

But i understand those of you who see socially unacceptable. that imagining violence on people isn't ok, so i think i'll definitely keep that line of thinking to myself so people won't worry about me.
The thing with intrusive thought is that trying to repress them will just drive you crazy and it won't do anything. Making judgments on their morality isn't helping, unless you seriously think you're a danger to yourself or someone else. In my case, despite how graphic my thoughts can be, I don't seriously think I'd ever do any of those things to myself, so it's not a concern. Walking down the street and knowing that you're capable of defending yourself is important for your own safety and security, so I don't think it's a bad thing, no. Imagining situations to get some sort of satisfaction like that is probably also fairly common (I do that as well - things like taking a bullet for a friend or pushing someone out of the way of a car). But yeah, I'd maybe keep it to yourself if you're not seriously concerned - it's not really other people's business if you don't want it to be. If it bothers you, there's probably ways to train yourself to prevent things like that. You could try doing some research on intrusive thought.