Gay friend wants more but I'm not interested

[Sammerz]

I have one gay friend, Chris. I'm lucky to have him as a friend because I just came out and I'm going through a rough time with some of my ex-friends. Chris has been there for me, giving me encouragement and helping me stand up for myself. I love him like a brother for all of that.

The past couple days he has been showing more "interest" in me, getting sexual when we talk. He asked me today if I would ever do anything with him. TBH he doesn't turn me on that way. I don't think of him that way. Like I said, he's like a brother to me. So I want to say no. Buuuuut........... He's been there for me through this rough time. I don't want to feel like I "owe" him sex because that feels wrong to me. But I don't want to hurt him by telling him no especially because I still need him.

What do I say to him?

[jessie3]

In my opinion i think that if you do give him sex he will eventually want more and i know you don't want that. As to how to say no, I'd go straight up to him, ask him to talk to you privately and tell him that you like him but only as a friend and nothing more.

[SethfromMI]

I have one gay friend, Chris. I'm lucky to have him as a friend because I just came out and I'm going through a rough time with some of my ex-friends. Chris has been there for me, giving me encouragement and helping me stand up for myself. I love him like a brother for all of that.

The past couple days he has been showing more "interest" in me, getting sexual when we talk. He asked me today if I would ever do anything with him. TBH he doesn't turn me on that way. I don't think of him that way. Like I said, he's like a brother to me. So I want to say no. Buuuuut........... He's been there for me through this rough time. I don't want to feel like I "owe" him sex because that feels wrong to me. But I don't want to hurt him by telling him no especially because I still need him.

What do I say to him?

just talk to him and tell him he is like a brother to you. you do love and care about him (like a brother) but you don't think about him in a sexual way. you do not owe him any sex and if he is a true friend, he will be able to accept and understand and he will still be there for him.

for what it's worth, me and many other people on here are here to support you as well.

[Sammerz]

just talk to him and tell him he is like a brother to you. you do love and care about him (like a brother) but you don't think about him in a sexual way. you do not owe him any sex and if he is a true friend, he will be able to accept and understand and he will still be there for him.

for what it's worth, me and many other people on here are here to support you as well.

In my opinion i think that if you do give him sex he will eventually want more and i know you don't want that. As to how to say no, I'd go straight up to him, ask him to talk to you privately and tell him that you like him but only as a friend and nothing more.

I'll say that to him. I think he will understand. tbh maybe someday he will be more than a brother to me but right now he's not. Thanks guys!

[SethfromMI]

I'll say that to him. I think he will understand. tbh maybe someday he will be more than a brother to me but right now he's not. Thanks guys!

opps sorry I misread that. either way, just tell him you do not feel that way about him. best of luck to you :)

[Zachary G]

next time you are alone with him and his starts to flirt with you, explain to him how much you care for him and respect his feelings, but you think it would put a strain on your relationship/friendship if anything sexual were to happen between you and you dont want to chance that. he might feel a little rebuffed, but you reassure him that he will always hold a special place in your heart.

[Sammerz]

next time you are alone with him and his starts to flirt with you, explain to him how much you care for him and respect his feelings, but you think it would put a strain on your relationship/friendship if anything sexual were to happen between you and you dont want to chance that. he might feel a little rebuffed, but you reassure him that he will always hold a special place in your heart.

opps sorry I misread that. either way, just tell him you do not feel that way about him. best of luck to you :)

ugh i wanted to tell him today but I couldn't. I feel like shit even saying it to him after everything he's done for me.

[CuteGuy889]

I've got 2 (may be 3 ) gay/bi frnds..They don't says sexual stuff bu they r super intersted in guys' bodies...They notice everything (getting a little taller, little weight gain) and compliment & comment...
When we are in a group they always suggest a beach stroll or a dip in a pool....so that they can get us to take our cloths off...My other str8 friends give in cos it fun and they dont get the hidden motive.....I feel sooo uncomfortable esp with my pants off in a beach (to tread water) when the stare at my brief-clad butt..

[Zachary G]

ugh i wanted to tell him today but I couldn't. I feel like shit even saying it to him after everything he's done for me.

the longer you take to tell him, the more he may think that he has a chance with you, so dont string him along or misled him, muster up the courage and just lay it out there.

[SethfromMI]

ugh i wanted to tell him today but I couldn't. I feel like shit even saying it to him after everything he's done for me.

I can understand, but you still got to be honest about how you feel

[Jilly]

Yeah, I would agree, you can't have sex with him and expect it to stay just friendship. If you do that, you've crossed a big line and can't go back. You should do it only if you're sure that's what you want.