Confused about Sexuality

[Yarn]

Hey all, I'm a 16 (17 in a month) old male and lately I've been really confused on my sexuality. I spent pretty much all of last year coming out as bisexual and fully understanding that I am attracted to the opposite gender, however I keep running into these occurring situations that make me wonder if I actually am gay. I'm currently in a relationship with a girl, and everything seemed to be fine from an emotional standpoint, however yesterday when I went to her house to start spending the day together I literally felt nothing anymore, no attraction whatsoever, emotionally or physically. The same thing has happened in the past (we dated previously for a short period of time) where I felt into it in the beginning and then all of the sudden I feel like I've done a complete 180 and don't feel attracted anymore.

And I can confirm that it's not just this girl, the same thing has happened to my past 2 ex girlfriends where we start dating, and then all of the sudden I feel nothing there.

I'm asking the community what their opinion is on this, and if anyone has had any similar experiences. Based on the feedback, I'll probably make another post within the Teen Dating section about my current situation.

Thanks!

[WanderingHeart]

Alright, well.
For a while I considered myself bi but now I'm a lesbian, so I get your situation (except I'm not in a relationship lol)

Anyway, if you do not have any sexual attraction to girls and you do to guys, then you're gay I believe. And I don't mean no attraction to just this girl, but girls in general. Basically, if you're attracted to only guys the same way a straight person would be only attracted to the opposite gender, you might be gay.

I don't know everything that you're feeling or thinking, I'm just saying what I think based on what you said.
Honestly, though, if you believe yourself to be gay, then be gay.
Best of luck to you.

[Landbuscus97]

Bisexuality is a really (pardon the pun) queer little thing. Sometime people just use it as a sort of stepping-stone, first admitting to themselves that they're bisexual, and not full-out gay. Lots of people do this when first coming out, and usually realize later that they either ARE bisexual, or they really do just like one gender. As a bisexual male myself, the sexuality itself can be awful confusing. Some days I wake up and I prefer one gender over the other. I'll be feeling particularly attracted to guys all week, and then blam! Girls are taking over my mind! I've talked to others who also identify as bisexual and they've said they have similar situations. My guess would be that sexuality is a fluid concept, and not at all concrete. So you could be really be bisexual and just be having a "straight day", or you really are gay and just haven't fully realized it yet.
Best of luck!

[DoodleSnap]

Life is a transient part of the universe as we know it; a small part in a big scale of time. Reflecting the constant and change and movement all around us, we also sometimes go through periods of change, whether lifelong or for a day, it happens. I think that instead of rushing to label ourselves we should be more interested in welcoming and acknowledging the change, and being comfortable in what we believe in, rather than being defined by a label. I go through periods of time in which I am not attracted to certain people, and then the next day I am attracted to them. This is common for many people, and instead of worrying about it and feeling we have to solve it on the spot, try to think of it in the bigger picture, and simply acknowledge it, and see where life takes you further on. No one is forcing you to make a decision right now, so simply feel comfortable in your own skin. If you end up only liking one gender? That's ok. If you end up liking every gender? That's cool too. Just let it all happen, and allow the turbulence of teenage life and sexuality to pass you by. Hope all goes well.

[pjones]

you don't say if you have an attraction to boys, romantically or sexually. maybe these girls just don't fit with you for many reasons.

i fell "in love" with my best friend (a boy) when we started experimenting together at 12 years old, then i really liked a girl at school and and was so excited when i got my first kiss from her. we drifted apart fast and i went back to my friend and fell in love again.

i'm now infatuated with a girl at school. she seems to feel the same way about me. i can imagine spending the rest of my life with her and she excites me sexually, (we're not having sex) but my friend does still too, and i can imagine spending my life with him.

because of these attractions i classify myself as bisexual. can this change? sure, but i'm now really comfortable with my sexuality for the first time since i started puberty.

[tiffany1]

Life is a transient part of the universe as we know it; a small part in a big scale of time. Reflecting the constant and change and movement all around us, we also sometimes go through periods of change, whether lifelong or for a day, it happens. I think that instead of rushing to label ourselves we should be more interested in welcoming and acknowledging the change, and being comfortable in what we believe in, rather than being defined by a label. I go through periods of time in which I am not attracted to certain people, and then the next day I am attracted to them. This is common for many people, and instead of worrying about it and feeling we have to solve it on the spot, try to think of it in the bigger picture, and simply acknowledge it, and see where life takes you further on. No one is forcing you to make a decision right now, so simply feel comfortable in your own skin. If you end up only liking one gender? That's ok. If you end up liking every gender? That's cool too. Just let it all happen, and allow the turbulence of teenage life and sexuality to pass you by. Hope all goes well.


thats a really good post. wow!

[DoodleSnap]

thats a really good post. wow!
Thank you, I'm glad you found it helpful.