Never cry anymore. Is something wrong with me?

[Aidoon123]

Hello everyone.

I just wanted to ask people out there (more so males, as I am a guy myself and you can probably relate more but any input helps)

I never cry anymore. No matter how stressed or overwhelmed I get in a situation, i never cry anymore. I don't even feel tears welling in my eyes. When in a situation where I am overwhelmed, or very upset my body simply wont let me cry. I will feel sad, and get depressed, but I just sit there and let it all roll over me without shedding a tear or even really venting my emotions. This also applies to anger as well, which I just contain in myself. I was never encouraged to not cry and ''be a man'' but I simply do not cry anymore.

I am going to open up about something that no one really knows about, not even my friends. My parents are both alcoholics. From as young as I can remember, they have always been drinking. They are functional, while still going to work and providing and living a normal life, but at night, or on weekends/holidays all they do is drink. I have seen my parents scream at eachother, physically attack one another (my mom hitting my dad in drunken rage, my dad would never lay a hand on her like that) and have seen my mom and dad unconscious due to alcohol. Over the years, they have gotten worse, drinking more frequently, and more in quantity. They lie to me about it all the time, and are in complete denial over it.

I feel like seeing all this has done something to me. I feel almost scarred by it. Whenever around people who drink, I feel resentful and bitter even if they take drink well and know their limits, but I never express it, just keep it in. When I was young, and witnessing this, I would feel traumatized. I would run crying to my room, and hide from them. Now, I just feel resentful and bitter. I don't cry, I don't express my outrage, I just seethe. I get major depressive episodes and I don't enjoy their company anymore, even when sober.

Back to the point, is it normal that when situations arise where I should express my sadness I simply sit there and take it? I feel like my reaction to the emotions I feel should be different but it just doesn't happen. Should I seek help?

[NickTheStar]

Absolutely seek help. If you can't do that at least find someone to vent to. You don't have to suffer there's always other options.

[Wafflenado]

I've also had to deal with alcoholism in my family, but I've gotten over the bitterness, which it does go away eventually. I also don't cry at all, only when my emotions build up so much that they just need to come out. I think you've been sad so much that your body doesn't see the point anymore, a sort of desensitization, if you will. If you wan to vent to anyone, I'll try and help as much as I can. Stay strong :)

[Aidoon123]

Thanks for all the kinds words of advice everyone, still not crying but that is okay for now as I have had nothing to cry or be stressed about the last few days :)

[Miserabilia]

Anyone you know died? Because that usualy does the trick

[ImagineRepublicCity]

Well, I suppose it would just be a personality thing if you don't cry. I mean, I'm a very sensitive person and can cry over the littlest of things, whereas you could be the complete opposite. Of course, I'm not expert when it comes to human emotions and feelings, but I don't think it's a problem to cry or to not cry, just like how it's not a problem if you smile or not, they're just physical ways of showing emotion.

If you feel like you are unable to vent out though, that's no good. Being unable to talk about it and keeping it to yourself can really hurt you (and possibly others too). You don't need to ask for help (I don't think) with being unable to cry, but it would be good to find someone to talk it with.

It's also good to keep in mind that experiences which happen to you can effect your way of thinking. Just like when someone passes away or if you were told to fear a certain thing, the same type of effect would have happened to you. If it concerns you, you can also talk to someone about it. There are many professionals which are able to help you with that kind of thing.

Especially with your parents drinking, abuse isn't really legal and I'm sure there would be some sort of "neglect of care" law or something as well. It might break your family apart (I thought i shouldn't keep this away from you) but at least then, not only you, but your parents might be able to find help too, which would be great.

I wish you all the best, and the VT community is here to help if you ever need to talk to someone c: