My Best Friend and I

[SamSmith2801]

In September my best friend (Girl) and I fell out big time, and we didn't speak to each other for six months, and since February the hatchet has been buried and we've become so much closer and we're just a stronger duo. Recently a considerable amount of people have been making remarks about us being being like a married couple, and there is speculation that there is something going on between us. The thing is i used to feel romantically towards her, but now not so much, she's everything to me, we care about each other, we tell each other everything, and theres just this undesirable thing about our relationship. But here is where it all gets complicated, she and i have been talking about our friendship and both admit we're way too close, but we've also realised we're in too deep to get out. It's hard to explain but i've never had this sort of relationship with anyone before, and we've talked about it and we don't know if it is supposed to be something more, we just don't know, i don't have any physical attraction to her, but she is the sort of person i could settle down with. One night we ended up talking about this and said we don't know till we try, but we're about to hit exam season and it is probably the worst time to start messing with the relationship of your closest one, so we said we'd talk about it after the exams, we're both not sure of our feelings and don't want to hurt one another, we know everything about each other, the problem is with school everyone is so involved with each others lives that we don't have any "us" time and maybe it is just a figment of our imaginations that there is something more, to be honest i don't know, and light shed on the situation would be welcome.

Oh and one final thing she lives in a different country to me and is only here during term time

[audiophile5]

Firstly, I'd like to say that you shouldn't compromise your relationship and what you have - especially if it makes you that happy - just because other people might think it's odd that you're so close. Not worth it.

Second of all, have you thought about the fact that maybe you're not necessarily into each other in a romantic way, more like you're so close and you just get the idea that you're into each other. Idk, like you are in love with the idea of love, and she being the closest person to you, it's quite normal to seek the love you need in her..

Idk, I might be wrong, but I'm usually a hopeless romantic and I think that if two people truly love each other (in a romantic way) you just know. But yeah, I guess sometimes feelings do get confusing...

[Tesserax]

I just have to say here, you're lucky. You don't realise it, but I think you two actually should go out, and make it official you know? The reason I say this is because what you two have is the best kind of love, an emotional, mental connection that is hard to break and that's what's so confusing. You feel like a relationship has to have physical attraction yes, but the thing is if you two are connected so deeply on a mental level, there's almost nothing that can compare, because you can have that physical attraction, that lust for so many people, but you can only have that great mental attraction with so few.

Short answer: You two are basically a married couple, everybody's right. You're just so close, so connected that you don't realize it but as you said, you could settle down with her. If you two go out, your relationship will likely be extremely healthy and positive due to the nature of your connection.

Remember, if you want to make this work, the mental bond comes first, the physical/sexual stuff must always come second